The Captain's Collectible Is Definitely Not Dazai

[Updates are sometimes only 2,000 words, so don't expect a bonus flower every time.]

[Chrollo x Dazai crack ship]: This came about when I realized Chrollo and Dazai share a voice actor, and are both black-haired, smart, handsome men. They've both worn bandages and black suits, too.

Chrollo made a contract with the Book. If he transmigrated into the Bungo Stray Dogs world and successfully won Dazai Osamu's heart, he would receive a page from the Book that could grant any wish, and return to the Hunter x Hunter world.

The Book: "Go date Dazai!"

The moment the two of them signed the contract,

The Book teleported Chrollo to the scene where Dazai was dealing with a traitor. Chrollo appeared out of nowhere and met Dazai's eyes. Several Mafia members stood before him, guns pointed his way.

They stared at one another.

Under Dazai's murderous glare,

Chrollo smiled politely. "I've come to join the Port Mafia."

Dazai maliciously brought Chrollo, an obvious huge problem, to Mr. Mori, but never expected...

Chrollo to tell Mr. Mori without batting an eye, "I joined the Port Mafia because I admire Dazai."

Dazai: ???

--

Day N of Chrollo's pursuit of Dazai.

He'd earned the following achievements:

[Subordinate who got a keepsake] Done

[Unmasked in front of everyone] Done

[Want to save your best friend? Let's date] Done

[Runaway lovers on the run after leaving the Port Mafia] Done

[Fake liquor partners working undercover at the Black Organization] In progress

[Jumping off Tokyo Tower together]

Romance progress reached 100%. Done

Chrollo eagerly took his boyfriend Dazai and the spoils, the Book, home. A flash of white light enveloped him.

But he discovered he'd arrived in the neighboring Bungo Stray Dogs world!

He stared in shock at his romance target's name, Dazai Osamu, being erased and replaced with the name Chrollo Lucilfer.

Chrollo's pupils contracted. When did that happen?

Dazai said meaningfully, "You've been romanced instead."

"If you want to go home, you'll have to keep me happy. O(∩_∩)O"

The Armed Detective Agency's Dazai from another world, faced with an evil couple doing whatever they pleased: utterly hopeless.

[Key scene]

During the Mimic incident, with Oda Sakunosuke on the verge of death and Dazai as lost as a stray dog,

Dazai: "Odasaku, what should I do?"

Chrollo suddenly appeared. "I can save him, Dazai."

Dazai immediately looked up, eyes wide with disbelief and hope. He pressed his lips together.

"...At what price?"

Chrollo smiled. "Let's date, Dazai."

Dazai's pupils shook: ???

[Reader's guide]

- Self-indulgent fanfic, building up my favorite ship, my take on crack shipping.

- I won't hurt Dazai. The couple will love and hate each other, baiting and counter-baiting. Happy ending.

- My own setting moves Dazai's Dragon Head conflict earlier (background only).

- From Chapter 23 onward, the story will be locked. This Friday, the 23rd, I'll update with a combined three-chapter post.

---- Upcoming story seeking eager readers ----

[Detective Conan] Zoldyck Mixology

[Illumi x Gin crack ship]

"Illumi, darling! What kind of fiancee do you like? Have you decided yet?" A shrill, high-pitched woman's voice came through the phone.

Illumi silently moved the phone farther away. The next second, he transmigrated into the middle of one of Gin's missions.

The silver-haired assassin had an icy air and bloodthirsty eyes. He coolly and efficiently shot his target dead, then swiftly turned around and coldly scrutinized the person who'd appeared out of nowhere.

"Illumi! Have you decided yet?"

The woman on the phone pressed him in a deranged, obsessive voice. Her voice grew more and more grating.

Illumi tilted his head, his lifeless black cat eyes sizing up Gin. Suddenly, inspiration struck. He clenched his left hand into a fist and tapped it against his open right palm.

He spoke into the phone.

"Mom, I want a fiancee with long silver hair who works as an assassin. Ah, there's one right in front of me."

"Unfortunately, he's too weak."

Illumi's face was expressionless, and his voice betrayed no hint of regret.

Gin saw this person who'd appeared out of nowhere, talking to himself and voicing his delusions. He gave Illumi a bloody sneer, radiating killing intent.

--

Gin stared at the fiancee training manual in his hands, his fingers suddenly tightening until it crumpled.

How could there be someone so narcissistic, so presumptuous, and such a controlling lunatic in the world? And to top it all off, his strength was downright monstrous.

What was this training plan for a Zoldyck's wife, and these sadistic assassin training methods? Hah. Did he have nowhere else to vent his controlling and sadistic urges?

Vodka thought back to Illumi, who'd just been talking to himself, and cautiously asked, "Big Brother, are you okay?"

Gin said nothing, radiating a chilling killing intent.

Vodka: "B-Big Brother, the Boss said we should do our best to accommodate him..."

Gin shot him a cold glance.

The Black Organization's most dedicated top killer was bravely enduring humiliation to stop the giant black cat from trying to usurp power and assassinate the organization's Boss.

--

Are you still worried that your crimes in the world of Detective Conan will be discovered? Still worried you'll have to face a choice between three different deaths?

You don't have to worry anymore!

For business inquiries, contact Illumi Zoldyck at xxxxxxxxxxx. Order more than once and enjoy 5% off.

The Zoldycks look forward to serving you!

--

Black and White Impermanence, reaping souls by force, never miss. O_o

Also known as [The Black-Haired Control Freak Cat's Forced Love] [The Silver-Haired Assassin Was Born to Be a Zoldyck's Wife] [The Black-and-White Impermanence Assassin Couple]

--

[If Dazai Would Never Pick Up an Orange Munchkin]

[If Soukoku]

The Boss, who had been working at his desk for a long time, put down his pen. He casually glanced at the empty space behind him on the right, then expressionlessly took out his phone and typed.

[Where'd you go? So many people want to kill the Port Mafia Boss. If I suddenly die now, it'll all be Chuuya's fault. Poor Chuuya will become a criminal in the Port Mafia~]

Elsewhere, Chuuya stuck out a cat's paw and struggled to type on his phone.

Dazai frowned at the [Typing...] that kept appearing on his screen. He stood up and walked to Chuuya's office.

He opened the door and found an orange, blue-eyed munchkin cat sitting in the chair, pawing wildly at a phone.

Dazai's eyes widened slightly. After a moment's silence, he tentatively asked, "Chuuya?"

Chuuya breathed a sigh of relief, pulled his paw back, and nodded like a cat.

Dazai pursed his lips and silently carried the cat away.

Also known as [What? I Don't Even Like Cats!] [The Grumpy Orange Cat and the Tsundere, Gloomy Boss]

- Includes a scene where Chuuya violently rescues Dazai from jumping off a building.

Theme: Strive toward a better life and achieve self-redemption