Dazai and the Strongest: Sensory Overload Alert

When Dazai and Gojo are bound together by a curse, the two strongest are forced to sign the worst contract in history: shared pain.

Gojo demands, "Mackerel, if you jump into a river, I drown. How is that fair?"

Dazai chuckles. "Why not die with me, Mr. Gojo? We both win."

Shoko, cigarette between her lips: "The strongest chokes to death on kikufuku? That's a joke that'll keep me laughing until next century."

Mori Ougai suggests, "Why don't you get married? Split the medical bills fifty-fifty."

Neither of them is easy to deal with.

Gojo teleports over and crushes Dazai's roll of bandages. "Try to die again, and I'll let you experience true 'No Longer Human.'"

Dazai casually hands him a cup of dish-soap coffee. "Give it a try. Maybe it'll wash out that brain of yours, stuffed with sweets."

On the nth day of tormenting each other, the curse mysteriously upgrades to shared pleasure.

When their fingertips glide over skin, when their panting fills the night, their senses flare together. They're stuck in a long-distance relationship without even being in the same place.

"Scumbag... take your hand off me..."

"You're the one who started moving your leg, liar."

When hostility turns to flirting and mutual destruction becomes intimacy, they discover the ultimate secret of the curse: when they "do it together," the pleasure doubles.

"Admit it, you're enjoying this."

"You're panting more passionately than I am..."

As the curse user shrieks while detonating the blood curse, "Become one! You're made for each other!"

They fire bullets and cursed energy together, exchanging glistening gazes amid the light of the explosion...

"Welcome to hell, partner."

"...Likewise, scumbag."

This inescapable curse is an eternal paradise handpicked by addicts.

And they are more than willing to turn each other into an addiction they can never kick.

Next novel:

"On the Compatibility of Sorcerers and No Longer Human", a long-form story

The entertainment industry is in an uproar.

The stunning boy band "404" has burst onto the scene, and nobody can figure out what the members are:

Gojo Satoru, a nuclear bomb of stage presence, whose side effect is cursed energy rampaging hard enough to tear down a stadium.

Dazai Osamu, world-weary and languid, with the passive skill "No Longer Human," which is the perfect cure for anyone who can't handle Gojo Satoru.

Gin, more practiced at cleaning his gun than thrusting his hips, looking at his bandmates like they're targets to eliminate.

Kakashi, with a privacy screen for "Make-Out Paradise", and comments that always dance on the edge of getting banned.

Oikawa Tooru, a personification of volleyball resentment, constantly roaring, "Give me back my training court, you bastards!"

Their manager slams the table and yells, "I signed you to promote an idol group, not to demolish buildings with your superpowers! Especially you two!"

He points a trembling finger at Gojo Satoru and Dazai Osamu:

"Gojo, keep your cursed energy under control! Dazai, from today on, you're his exclusive 'nullification' partner! Twenty-four hours a day, with less than ten centimeters between you! For world peace! Get close!"

The whole internet is in an uproar: Aren't these two famous rivals from Tokyo University?

Back then, one blasted a hole through the laboratory building with cursed energy, while the other showed off his nullification. Whenever they met, they traded insults:

"Are Dazai-chan's bandages wrapped around his brain?"

"Are Gojo-kun's Six Eyes just for decoration? Can't you see how annoying you are?"

In front of millions watching live, Gojo Satoru wraps an arm around Dazai and pins him hard against the backdrop wall. His silver hair brushes against Dazai's bandages as he leans in, breath hot:

"Dazai-chan's 'nullification' still pisses me off and puts me at ease at the same time."

The comments explode:

Isn't this wall slam just a chance to get personal revenge?

The sexual tension is killing me!

Rivals to spouses?

Gin silently cleans his gun. "Keep pushing this ship and I'll shoot you."

Kakashi walks past with a copy of "Make-Out Paradise". "Paid content. Not for minors."

Later...

There's a question in the interview script: "What's the one thing you'd most like to do to the other person?"

Gojo stares at Dazai's lips and tugs his tie provocatively. "Make you cry and beg for mercy."

Dazai uses his bandages to tighten the wrap around Gojo's throat, then straddles his waist and smiles. "What a coincidence... I want to see you suffocate."

Theme: All hardships can be overcome