A Human Disqualified from Life, Yet Capturing the Strongest

One day, Gojo's Limitless suddenly started malfunctioning. The strongest became "the intermittently strongest," and the culprit was an experimental failure from the Black Organization: a rule-distortion device.

Even more absurdly, before every shutdown, he would hear a mocking System notification:

"Skill freeze warning: Toxic behavior toward Dazai detected. Limitless has been disabled for 3 hours."

"Skill freeze warning: Dazai's invitation to join him in the water was declined. Limitless has been disabled for 5 hours."

"Skill freeze warning: Refusal to share dessert with Dazai. Limitless has been disabled for 8 hours."

Gojo: ?

To maintain his image as the strongest, he was forced to become the bandage-wrapped man's personal babysitter:

Exorcising special-grade curses while praising him: "Mr. Dazai, your form when entering the water today was especially elegant!"

Teleporting to rescue him with a can of crab meat in hand, then adding a heartfelt confession: "I want to go to the afterlife with you."

Finding a moment amid Sukuna's Domain Expansion to text him: "Next time you jump from somewhere high, be sure to call me. I love you most, Satoru."

Dazai: "So all it takes to conquer the strongest is a world-class System for crashing into people?"

Until they discovered that behind the distorted rules lurked a curse capable of devouring the world's consciousness. And when their skills fused...

Dazai chuckled. "Now a kiss can stop time. Want to try defusing a bomb while time is frozen, or... do something more exciting?"

Gojo: "Only kids make choices..."

Onlooker Geto: "The truth behind Limitless failing is that even the universe couldn't stand someone's tsundere act, so it forcibly assigned him a wife who could handle him."

Theme: Life is worth living.