I Fell in Love with a Tentacle-Wielding Girlfriend

[Calm, open-minded female college student vs. eccentric, split-personality professor monster who loves "cooking"]

Lu Yu'an got a girlfriend, a university professor with money, beauty, and a height of 178 centimeters. She was so perfect she hardly seemed human.

Lu Yu'an was very pleased, and the two quickly fell in love.

She was a college student, and every day after class her girlfriend, Zong Lan, picked her up. The first thing they did when they got home was passionately kiss against the entryway wall.

Zong Lan especially liked lightly biting the back of her slender neck, murmuring in a strange tone, "You smell so bad, like so many people. I don't like it."

Lu Yu'an thought she had a serious cleanliness obsession, so she obediently let her strip her and wash her clean.

·

One day, Lu Yu'an had just left for school when she realized she'd forgotten her lecture notes, so she went back to get them.

Through a crack in the kitchen door, she saw that her usually gentle and refined girlfriend had turned into something strange.

A cluster of pitch-black tentacles had grown from the soles of her feet, writhing and waving behind her.

The tentacles whispered to each other as they divided up the work.

"Wifey likes Sichuan food. Let's make mapo tofu."

"..."

Watching the tentacles expertly chop garlic with a knife, then toss the wok as they stir-fried, Lu Yu'an thought she must still be dreaming.

·

One evening, Zong Lan tenderly dried her hair and gently reminded her to go to bed early.

Just then, Lu Yu'an saw the shadows of those tentacles behind her again.

They surged forward eagerly, crouching behind Zong Lan as they writhed and murmured.

"Wow, wifey smells so good. She must taste delicious..."

"Let's rip her clothes right off..."

"Could she handle all eighteen of us at once...?"

"So wet..."

"..."

Yet the monster herself smiled with refined grace, her touch light and gentle, utterly unlike the shadows behind her.

·

One day, Lu Yu'an went to a class reunion and was cornered by a drunk male classmate confessing his feelings.

Everyone around them was egging him on. Just then, Zong Lan walked into the private room with a cold expression and beat up the harasser in front of everyone.

She held Lu Yu'an tightly as each tentacle whispered in a voice only Lu Yu'an could hear, "I'm hungry. I want to eat people."

"..."

Lu Yu'an quickly stepped on the tentacles on the floor and shouted in desperation:

"No!"

Zong Lan whipped around, her eyes gleaming as the corners of her mouth spread into a greedy smile.

She stared straight at Lu Yu'an. "I'm even hungrier now. I want to eat my wifey."

Theme: Keep your mouth healthy, and don't eat just anything.