I Know Far Too Much [Western Crossover]

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Cassio Sheila Angel is an utterly ordinary elementary school student who racks his brains over his studies every day. After finally making it through graduation, he discovers in horror that middle school has physics, chemistry, biology...

The child lies down serenely: At this point, perhaps only God can save me.

He prays devoutly, hoping the Lord will give him a golden finger.

Heaven hears his prayer. The next morning, Cassio wakes up to see his pet Samoyed wagging its tail and whining at him: "That lazybones still isn't getting up. Does he want me, his adorable doggy, to starve to death and then get himself another cat?"

Cassio: =O=

After that, Cassio's world changes.

Cassio encounters a tree on the street: Robin was perched on me again yesterday. The little bird is cute, but bats are even better.

A cat: I want to go to Metropolis and cuddle Superman.

Even a streetlight: Batman, you're a menace. You drove right into me. Hit me a few more times!

Cassio: How is any of this supposed to help me with my exams? All I see is a bunch of lunatics.

That's not all. Cassio also learns a bunch of things he shouldn't know.

Stray cat: Foolish humans, the Scarecrow is experimenting again in the basement at 73 Rowan Street. I'll wait for you to die...

Cactus: A wanted criminal lives here, and Batman can't be bothered to do anything about it.

Old building: Black Mask stashed a floor full of weapons in me and didn't even replace my door. What a cheapskate.

The boy is already losing hair from studying. Now he can't sleep because he knows too much, and keeps banging his head against the wall. This world really hates him.

Cassio holds out for a few days, then can't take it anymore. He practices writing with his left hand, disguises himself as a boy with an afro, and delivers an anonymous letter in the middle of the night. He never expects to run into the new Red Robin, whose long staff is going, "Timmy, the criminal's getting away! Hurry up and follow in my footsteps!"

Cassio falls over in fright. I know way too much.

Premise: There is always hope inside Pandora's box