[Three Kingdoms] The Warlords Vie to Carry My Baby

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Blurb: Wei Kang is transported to the chaotic final years of the Han dynasty, an era in which the rites have collapsed and status is decided by power and weapons.

But Wei Kang has neither the family connections of an aristocratic clan nor the military strength to conquer new territory. Her only golden finger is a childbearing System that's about as useless as they come.

System: Look on the bright side. You can finish your mission and go home just by having children. Besides, you don't even have to give birth yourself.

Wei Kang: I think I'm still a child myself! Besides, how can I have kids without dating first?!

So the System serves up one handsome, lean-muscled general after another, a refined yet frail scholar who's still got his charm, and a beautiful, doomed prince with a delicate air...

Honest Wei Kang dates them one by one, then dumps them one by one.

System: Is this what an honest person is like?

Wei Kang [wiping away a nosebleed]: I'm a woman, after all.

System: Now you can focus on having children, right?

Wei Kang: Hold on. Take a look at this first.

Wei Kang flings out a stack of documents:

A coalition of warlords has joined forces to condemn the demoness Wei Kang. Twelve volumes of military reports, and every last one asks the same question: who's the father of the child?!

2.

In the capital, Luoyang, word spreads like wildfire that General-in-Chief Wei Kang is to marry into the Han imperial house.

Rumor has it that this woman from Bingzhou can make men pregnant! She's a bona fide demoness!

The civil officials: I heard that once you've worked with her, you can't escape her clutches!

The military officers: No, no, I heard that if you lose a battle to her, you'll be sporting a baby bump the very next day!

The assembled lords: That woman is terrifying!

Then we absolutely cannot allow the Han imperial house to suffer such humiliation!

Eighteen expectant fathers hear the news and come knocking in the dead of night.

A certain three-surnamed traitor of a general grits his teeth: I gave birth to a child for you, and there's another one in my belly, yet you want to abandon us, father and daughter, and marry another man?!

A certain young lord of the Taiyuan Wang clan looks at her resentfully: The first triplets in the history of the Wang clan to be born without complications. Can you bear to let them grow up in a home without a mother's love?

A certain eldest son of the Cao clan beats his chest and stamps his feet: They can all give birth! Why can't I?! What do they have that I don't?!

Meanwhile, the woman they're talking about looks toward the highest seat in the hall, the imperial throne, and thinks:

The multiples were all accidents, and there's an imperial throne to pass on. How can I treat everyone fairly? Help, I need an answer!

Note 1: Every man in this story is prone to tears and gets pregnant easily. What can I say? The female lead is just too formidable.

2. A good man has eight babies in one birth. It's an honor, a compliment, and a distinction reserved for men who are obedient, virtuous, and considerate.

3. Content warning: BG male pregnancy. Everyone except the male lead is an original character, and there are both romance and plot elements.

4. Nothing else comes to mind for now, so here's wishing all the assembled lords a smooth pregnancy.

5. This is not historical fiction. The setting follows the original timeline.

Theme: Carry love in your heart and forge ahead without fear