You Can't Abandon the Protagonist!

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Song Shu transmigrates into a crematorium-style novel as a lowly immortal attendant.

The male lead is his boss, the Sword Venerable. The love interest is a universally adored beauty, half-forced into the relationship, and there's also a moonlight in the male lead's heart caught up in a tangled mess.

But none of that has anything to do with Song Shu. He just needs to survive among these miserable men in love with men, work around the clock, piggyback on the plot for points, and keep his head down until the ending so he can go home.

His one fatal complication is his handsome face.

In a world where every man is gay and relationships are tangled beyond repair, being good-looking is a major liability.

Song Shu wears a disguise and works honestly for five years among this pack of love-crazed lunatics, determined not to meddle. The only exception is his uncontrollable, ill-timed compassion.

He finds a half-dead fledgling by the road and takes it in.

He finds a crippled wolf pup, whimpering in a corner, and takes it in too.

Even when he finds a little white snake in a crevice, its scales dull and its breath faint, he overcomes his fear and takes it in.

Later, the fledgling grows strong enough to fly and curls up in his palm each night to sleep, never again exposed to wind and snow. The wolf pup's injuries heal, and its silver fur gleams like snow, but it still likes to lie by his bed and wag its tail. The white snake becomes smooth and lustrous, and when it coils around his wrist, it looks like a docile bracelet.

The pets he once found so dull now shine like jewels thanks to his care... They're just too clingy, and they're always fighting over his attention.

Song Shu thinks he can keep hiding, but then the plot goes completely off the rails. The protagonists, who should be locked in an endless cycle of love and hate, start searching the world for a man.

Song Shu looks at the portrait in his hand and recognizes the face immediately. Holy crap! That's him without his disguise!

Song Shu is shocked, frightened, and utterly confused, until he draws the [See Through True Form] buff.

The fledgling in his arms: the adored junior brother.

The wolf pup guarding his feet: the Sword Venerable.

Song Shu sees his life flash before his eyes and swears he'll protect his secret identity.

But he gets found out anyway.

The junior brother, who in the original novel looked down on everyone and was cherished by the whole world, lies across Song Shu's lap, offering his tail feathers. His voice is plaintive. "Won't you be my partner today, either?"

The Sword Venerable, who was supposed to be caught up in a passionate love-hate relationship with the junior brother, gently rubs his head against Song Shu's palm and begs in a hoarse voice, "You like being petted here best... Let me stay here for you, okay?"

Song Shu stares, rigid with horror, at this scene that needs an exorcist. This world has gone mad. Completely mad.

Remembering the original novel's over-the-top, world-destroying love-triangle drama, Song Shu packs his bags in the middle of the night and flees without hesitation, hoping for a fresh start.

But a cool, supple snake tail coils around him as he turns.

The person who approaches bears the title [The Entire Novel's Moonlight]. A warm breath brushes his ear, his voice gentle and amused, yet unsettling. "You picked up all those worthless things and spoiled them until they became impossible to live without you..."

The moonlight, who was supposed to be admired from afar and never touched, leisurely rubs his snake tail over Song Shu's waist and stomach, obsession sending a chill through his eyes.

"I've put up with so much. How can you be so cruel as to abandon me now?"

[Reading Guide]

A sarcastic, slow-witted beauty who works himself to the bone x an obsessive top with a bizarre way of thinking (x)

A pure, half-lie-flat slacker bottom x a cold-on-the-outside, shamelessly affectionate, resentful husband top (✓)

One-on-one, both leads are each other's first and only. The only official pairing is Ge Wuchi and Qiu, the snake. The bottom only loses his disguise in front of the top early on, and only reciprocates the main top's feelings. The other love interests all get their own crematorium arcs.

Earliest traceable draft in the cloud archive dates to 2025.10.6.

Weibo: When I write, I'm like a helpless dog.

Coming soon: The Slacker Gets the Dragon Pride System by Mistake

Yun Xian is a useless slacker who, through a twist of fate, becomes the partner of a sword-path prodigy.

He unexpectedly gets a partner, and Yun Xian accepts it gladly.

His partner has no real feelings for him, and Yun Xian accepts it gladly.

Everyone calls him a schemer, and Yun Xian is a little annoyed. Then he looks at his partner's immense fortune and accepts it gladly.

Yun Xian knows exactly what kind of slacker he is.

Other people's opinions don't matter, and his partner's love is even less important. For a slacker, the most important thing is to keep coasting to victory.

Until one day, he's bound to the Dragon Pride System that was supposed to belong to his partner, bringing his slacker life to an end.

[You are a Dragon Pride protagonist. You cannot stand being insulted.]

[When faced with someone spreading rumors and causing trouble, choose:

1. Challenge them to a duel to the death, then humiliate them with a dazzling face-slapping comeback that leaves everyone stunned.

2. Show off on the spot and wait for your handsome confidant to defend you in debate.]

Yun Xian has no handsome confidant, just an annoying partner. He trembles as he accepts option one, but he doesn't have powerful cultivation either. All he can do is get killed in a dazzling fashion.

Yun Xian sees his life flash before his eyes and can't imagine a future.

That very same day, his real Dragon Pride partner, who is a head taller and broader than him, unexpectedly approaches him of his own accord. Under the horrified gazes of everyone around them, he calmly asks if Yun Xian wants to sleep together.

Ye Jinglan has been a genius since birth. Nothing in the world is destined to stop him.

He unexpectedly gets a partner, and Ye Jinglan accepts it without a fuss.

His partner is a useless slacker, and Ye Jinglan accepts it without a fuss.

Bound to a love-addled System, Ye Jinglan looks at its mission:

[You are a love-addled fool who loves your partner to the point of madness. Your goal is to help your partner achieve his ambitions.]

[Your partner is being humiliated. As his husband, choose:

1. Step in to help him, then sweetly invite him to consummate the marriage.

2. Watch from the shadows, then take advantage when he's hurt to invite him to consummate the marriage.]

...Being humiliated?

Ye Jinglan finds Yun Xian. Familiar faces, all of whom usually treat him with respect, are directing their malice at his partner, and Yun Xian can only remain silent.

Ye Jinglan is furious.

Yun Xian's past wasn't happy, so he accepts everything the future brings.

Even when he's bound to the Dragon Pride System and given tasks that are impossible to complete, he grits his teeth, gets back on his feet, and sticks to his philosophy of "accepting it gladly."

He just didn't expect the slacker to really become a Dragon Pride protagonist.

Or the Dragon Pride protagonist to really become love-addled.

On the day Yun Xian takes on the engagement-breaking mission, he thinks it will go smoothly. Instead, he runs into the biggest surprise of his entire career as a Dragon Pride protagonist.

"You think I'll let you leave, then do as those lowlifes want and leave my partner's position open for someone to take advantage?"

The usually arrogant Ye Jinglan grits his teeth and tears up Yun Xian's divorce papers.

Ye Jinglan has gone completely mad.

Reading Guide:

1. A goofy story with simple prose.

2. Contains a little bit of the adored-by-everyone trope and may include hair-pulling drama. But the top and bottom are devoted to each other, body and soul. No cheating, and no writing that kind of story.

Theme: True freedom comes from freedom of the soul.