Hagi! I’m Really Not a Science-of-Magic Girl

[Chapters 16-32 are being removed from the free archive. Unconditional paragraph comments are now open. Comments and bookmarks are very welcome! ☆

(Updates irregularly) Also known as "What Do I Do When My Childhood Friend Is My Favorite?" 🥺😎

: Swipe through the character cards! You can see adorable little Hagi and little Matsuda cuddling!]

Here is the blurb:

Is there anything more devastating than having a childhood friend who is obsessed with magical girls?

There is, Matsuda thought. His dad, Jotaro, happens to be the famous magical girl.

The good news: Hagi doesn't seem to realize the magical girl he thinks about day and night is his childhood friend's dad.

The bad news: Hagiwara thinks little Jinpei is a magical girl, and mysteriously swore he would never reveal the magical girl's identity. It's their little secret!

Watching Hagiwara, who had even become a (by his own estimation) major fan creator of magical-girl fanworks, Matsuda thought about it and decided this all had to go back to when they first met.

After all, the biggest reason Hagiwara got the wrong idea was that, when they were seven, Matsuda had accidentally transformed into a magical kitty, then used a secret technique to turn Hagi into a magical puppy.

As for the talking mascot who appeared out of nowhere by Matsuda's side, his dad who only showed up to deal with monsters after Matsuda cleared the Heart Space and never appeared alongside him, the mysterious guardian he summoned (sweetie), and so on... None of that should matter.

But watching Hagiwara, a fanboy creating magical-kitty fanworks, Matsuda suddenly realized something was off.

Why do you only make magical dog-and-cat AUs featuring the two of us, and not fanworks about actual magical girls at all?!

Even the excuse, "Because magical kitty can show up alongside the magical puppy he once transformed with, which makes their relationship seem even closer," was hard to believe!

Does Hagi know I'm not a magical girl or not?

As police academy student Matsuda fretted over it, his classmate Morofushi patted him on the shoulder.

Seeing Morofushi hesitate, looking as if he was about to reveal some huge secret, Matsuda gave up. The worst that could happen was his dad's identity as a magical girl being exposed. At least Mom's secret identity was much better hidden.

Matsuda looked back at Morofushi with complete confidence.

"Matsuda, your mom is actually the Kamen Superman who saved my family back then, isn't she?"

Matsuda had nothing to say.

"Also, did you know Hagiwara ships the magical dog and cat, rather than just enjoying them as friends?"

Matsuda was completely speechless.

One benefit of having a magical girl for a father was that Kanagawa's crime rate had fallen year after year in recent years. That was entirely thanks to the magical girl taking care of the little blackies in her everyday life.

As for how surprised Matsuda was to find that, after arriving in Beika, almost everyone carried the black sludge that could give birth to monsters, he decided not to worry about it for now.

It wasn't as if he could really transform into a magical girl and make the black sludge disappear.

And the idea of a new mascot choosing him out of nowhere, allowing him to transform into a magical villain, was surely impossible for him as a bomb-disposal police officer.

Wait, Hagi, put down that pen you're using to create a new AU!

Pre-release: "Why Is Officer Matsuda Like This?": He says he and Hagiwara are going through the seven-year itch

On Sambuca's first day in Beika, they conveniently lost their memory and became a suspect in a case. They also fell in love at first sight with Detective Matsuda, who was examining the body of their mission target.

With the System's shrill alarms ringing in their head, they smoothly exchanged contact information.

Bad news: The other person is married and has a six-year-old biological child.

Good news: Detective Matsuda is going through the seven-year itch with his alpha partner, so pursuing him is entirely reasonable.

Worse news: Officer Matsuda is getting close to them because he can't forget his childhood friend, his dead husband, who died seven years ago, and is set on avenging him.

Even better news: The clues point to the organization Sambuca works for, and Sambuca would love to see it destroyed. Now they have a shared topic to talk about for a long, long time!

News that may or may not be good: Sambuca discovers that they are Hagiwara, Matsuda Jinpei's childhood friend and husband who died seven years ago.

And they themselves have no idea they are the dead husband.

Content warnings:

1. HagiMatsu, balanced 1v1 pairing, no splitting them up or reversing the pairing. They are very much in love, and each other's first love, first kiss, and so on.

2. A large portion takes place during their childhood!! The plot has been completely reworked (or rather, starting fifteen years before the first year of Detective Conan, most of the original plot simply can't happen). I'll find ways to save everyone who can be saved! I've already saved Class Rep and the Morofushi family.

3. Lots of cross-dressing for a lighter atmosphere (everyone means everyone), as well as various dog-, cat-, and animal-ification.

4. Starts when Hagi and Matsu are tiny tots. A large portion takes place during their childhood!

5. Everyone ships HagiMatsu. HagiMatsu 99 means they're already clingy and affectionate even before they start dating ξ( *><*)

6. No unsolicited writing advice, no changing my wording, and no made-up terms. No comments from people who break up or reverse the pairing, claim it's ambiguous, or insert themselves as dream partners. Comments that contain spoilers or directly target an ID will be deleted.

7. There is a certain amount of magical-girl content, from Matsuda's father's perspective, to explain the background.

8. Matsuda's parents' gender-bender line will be mentioned (mainly for the contrast between Kamen Superman's and the magical girl's real-life genders), as well as hints of Chihaya x Shinobu. There is also an original character and a platonic relationship with Tomori Yuri (they're all kids).

For specific content warnings, see the author's note in Chapter 1.

Enjoy the super adorable little puppy Hagi and little kitty Matsu in the character cards, updated in real time!

Free serial next door (currently updating slowly), under revision: "[HagiMatsu] Did Officer Hagiwara Successfully Announce That He's Married Today?" HagiMatsu: This time, we're really more than just friends!

Theme: Stay true to your convictions and create a brighter future through your own efforts