My Dead Cat Came Back as My Wife

Coming soon: [The Beautiful, Pretentious Fake Young Master Shared by Everyone at His School] [The Little Koi Just Wants to Slack Off and Cuddle on an Extreme Variety Show]. Blurbs below. Cuddles.

Bai Ruonian had a secret: he used to be a cat.

Reborn one day, he became the fake young master of the Bai family, who was looked down on and even struck deaf in one ear by his father. Just as he was getting used to having a human body, an AI System forcibly matched him with a spouse at a 99% compatibility rate.

The instant he saw his match, his eyes lit up.

Waaah... isn't this the owner who used to open cans for him in his previous life?

=

As the Empire's youngest SS-class Alpha, Lu Mingjin was famous for his coldness and ruthlessness. He once blew up an entire star system over a cat, and the whole universe remembered the rule of survival: Never provoke the Zerg, and never provoke the Grim Reaper, Lu.

The day the Matching Center sent over an Omega, the military officers all placed their bets:

“They'll be divorced within three days.”

“He'll be sent away within a day.”

They were all betting on how many days this pampered little darling could last.

Until someone saw the young major general kneeling on one knee to tie the boy's untied shoelace, then leaving a meeting in front of the Emperor to spend ages chatting on the phone.

When Bai Ruonian appeared on Lu Mingjin's arm at the military's anniversary celebration, the real-time traffic across the entire StarNet instantly hit its peak. Even Lu Mingjin's approval rating went up.

The young man wore a silver-white suit, its collar pinned with a delicate sapphire brooch that made his skin look like jade. He turned his head slightly and winked at the camera, lively and beautiful.

#Help! Is this really a face that should exist in this world?#

#Even the Grim Reaper Lu seems gentle and human next to him#

#The young major general has been possessed, surely this needs investigating#

#So the harbinger of doom can smile after all#

#I approve of this marriage#

==

The first time Lu Mingjin saw Bai Ruonian, the latter was in a hospital room, bewildered and flustered like a stray cat. The boy stood awkwardly in a shaft of light, his long lashes casting butterfly-wing shadows beneath his eyes. A typical, standard-issue, boring Omega, Lu Mingjin idly planned to have someone send him away. But the moment the boy looked up, he froze.

Those were familiar azure eyes, exactly like the cat he'd once kept.

The owner of those eyes looked up timidly, and the instant he recognized Lu Mingjin, his pupils contracted. He instinctively took half a step back.

Then he rushed straight at him, even yanking out his IV line. Clinging to Lu Mingjin, he still remembered to whimper that it hurt.

Looking into the boy's azure eyes, Lu Mingjin somehow ended up taking this pampered handful of trouble home.

=

The Omega's heat arrived without warning.

Bai Ruonian curled up in a little nest made of military uniforms, his whole body burning hot. In a daze, he sensed someone approaching and instinctively rubbed against them, pressing his feverish cheek to a callused palm.

“Mmm...” An unconscious, sweet little whine escaped him, just like when he'd used to act spoiled.

Lu Mingjin's breathing stopped.

The sensation at his fingertips was far too familiar: soft skin brushing the curve of his palm, trembling lashes tickling his wrist.

“Xiao Bai?” His voice was hoarse as he tentatively called out.

The boy looked up in confusion, his azure eyes hazy with moisture. Instinctively, he answered, “Meow~?”

The air froze.

Lu Mingjin's hand hung in midair, his pupils contracting. He saw the boy suddenly come to his senses, his beautiful blue eyes opening wide as if he had finally realized what had happened.

Had his secret been exposed?

Wait, why had he grown cat ears again?

That night, a post went viral on the StarNet forum.

#I think my spouse used to be a cat, kind of urgent, waiting online for answers.

1F: ??? Did you just wake up, OP?

2F: I recommend making an appointment with a psychiatrist.

2333F: If it's true... OP hit the jackpot! A catgirl and all...

2334F: @Interstellar Animal Protection Association There's a pervert here.

2335F: This is just the last fantasy of someone who wants a cat! Give it up, OP!

[Coming Soon] The Beautiful, Pretentious Fake Young Master Shared by Everyone at His School

Tenacious, down-on-his-luck beauty bottom x rich second-generation top, a silly sweetheart on the surface and a maniac underneath

Luo Yiche's carefully crafted persona fell apart in his third month studying abroad.

His fake-young-master identity was exposed and his bank account emptied, but he still took a photo of the library dome with the caption “Long night,” mooched off other people's cards at bars, and posted pictures of dates' Porsches on social media.

When someone caught him waiting tables at a Chinese restaurant, he dusted off his shirt. “Get your hands dirty. It's a family motto.”

He'd lost the family fortune, but he still had the family name. Family shame stayed within the family, and for the moment no one exposed him.

His turning point came in the form of Xie Wenjing.

The mixed-race rich kid, wearing a smile as bright as the California sun, asked him to be his tutor. He flashed a row of white teeth and spoke imperfect Chinese, saying he really liked Asians' “learning ethic,” and that they had a good study atmosphere.

Luo Yiche put on a haughty act as he corrected the discriminatory wording in the sentence, then immediately accepted the job.

The eldest son of an old-money finance family, with a gambling license in Vegas. The kind of man whose casino made a rising pop star sing to pay off a debt.

He called it tutoring, but it was practically like being kept.

There were endless parties and all kinds of high-profile guests. The guy was also hooked on extreme sports and flew all over the world in his own plane.

Luo Yiche collected his pay while constantly updating his social media, never forgetting to declare righteously, “I can't neglect my studies. I can't keep skipping class.”

The mixed-race guy smiled. “Going to parties is a kind of studying for me, too.”

Luo Yiche corrected him without a hint of embarrassment. “I'm the one who has to go to class.”

The mixed-race guy blinked his blue eyes as he transferred the money, then shrugged and said sorry, looking utterly harmless and innocent.

Until one day, Luo Yiche saw him at an underground racetrack, ramming a modified Hummer through the guardrail. He jumped out and beat the other driver viciously. His striking, chiseled face was spattered with blood, and he smiled through it.

What happened to the clueless foreigner?

==

Xie Wenjing was a hollow man. Beneath his polished exterior was a heart so bored it craved stimulation, a monstrous energy black hole.

Then he noticed a certain Instagram petit-bourgeois influencer lowering his eyes to wait tables after a fraternity party.

He soon found out everything about Luo Yiche:

Overdue rent, mooching off cards and parties, wiping tables at a Chinese restaurant... yet still posting carefully angled photos of luxury cars on his social feed.

His wrists trembled from waiting tables, but he still dusted the grime off his cuffs.

So pretentious.

Clumsy and disheveled, yet strangely... full of life.

Like a weed pushing up beneath a boulder, inch by inch, struggling through a crack toward the light.

At first, it was just a game. Watching Luo Yiche's profile stiffen amid the clinking glasses, feeling the taut line of his waist during a skydive, observing how the little wildcat disguised himself as respectable: the thrill and pleasure it gave Xie Wenjing were every bit as intense as leaping from ten thousand meters up.

Just when Xie Wenjing thought he was Luo Yiche's only patron, he discovered that:

A recommendation from a top mainstream media outlet came from an upperclassman in a media dynasty. The beauty's former crush, his unattainable first love, showed up with a business plan. Even Xie Wenjing's usually arrogant stepbrother offered Luo Yiche a congressional internship, his gaze lingering on Luo Yiche's slender neck. “My younger brother is too much of a playboy... and not exactly... emotionally mature. Why not consider me instead?”

Watching Luo Yiche flutter among them like a butterfly, Xie Wenjing suddenly realized that he had never been the only one.

He'd thought he was the only one taming Luo Yiche, only to discover that he had long since become one bidder among many.

That night, he barged into Luo Yiche's apartment, still carrying the wet bloodstains from an underground boxing ring.

The beauty was packing his things. When he looked up, the corners of his eyes reddened with fear, but he still held his back straight. “The deal is over.”

“The deal?” Xie Wenjing shoved him against the wall, his breath hot against the back of Luo Yiche's ear. “What can they give you? Money? A future?” His fingertip traced the open collar of Luo Yiche's shirt. “I can give you all that, and I'm a lot harder to deal with than any of them.”

Luo Yiche turned his head to avoid his breath. “My family won't allow...”

“Your family stopped caring whether you live or die ages ago, didn't they?” Xie Wenjing suddenly bit the tip of his ear, pronouncing each word perfectly. “Little wildcat.”

A vibrant rainforest completely devoured the desolation in his heart. He'd thought he'd found a fascinating new toy, only to discover that he was no longer a mere observer. The weed had become the light, and he had become a moth.

But a moth chasing light would be reduced to ashes. Better to claim it with the most direct, most savage means possible.

[Coming Soon] The Little Koi Just Wants to Slack Off and Cuddle on a Dating Show

Yu Baibai was a lazy carp spirit.

With incense offerings dwindling and a habit of meddling in other people's business, his fortune was severely depleted, and every so often he would turn back into a merman.

Then a nightmare jolted him awake. He was a cannon-fodder NPC in a book, and after exhausting his fortune to help the protagonist, he would degenerate into a giant wild koi, destined to be cooked in a pot of soup!

Yu Baibai immediately sat upright in the bathtub.

He absolutely could not turn into a giant carp!

So he set his sights on the book's protagonist, the entertainment industry's future superstar and heir apparent, Luo Xinghuan.

Bathed in starlight, aloof and untouchable, with one halo piled on top of another. If he could just latch on and cuddle up, his fortune would come rolling in.

As luck would have it, Luo Xinghuan was about to appear on an extreme sports variety show. Yu Baibai made it in by holding his breath underwater for two minutes and became an ironback.

Yu Baibai was delighted to slack off. Mooch! Mooch shamelessly! Cuddle! Fake a couple pairing!

Unfortunately, the protagonist's signal was simply too strong. Yu Baibai absorbed too much koi fortune, and the two went snorkeling underwater together. Yu Baibai ended up trending.

[He really looks like a little mermaid]

[He and Young Master Luo are made for each other]

Being tied to Luo Xinghuan meant Yu Baibai could never slack off again. So he issued a statement, planning to run away with the fortune he'd saved up.

But on the very day he posted it, his account was hacked and the statement taken down. He heard a key turn in the lock, and Luo Xinghuan crowded him into the cramped room, his dark, unfathomable eyes fixed on him.

“Baibai, you got enough fortune and now you want to run?”

Help! The book never said he was a creepy, obsessive psycho! What happened to him being an aloof and untouchable flower?

Free incense offerings, gone. Freedom to be a fish, gone!

Ever since the day he saw Yu Baibai's fish tail, Luo Xinghuan had known he was the fish who would grant his wish.

But fish only have a seven-second memory. The moment Yu Baibai saw him, he forgot everything and foolishly clung to him.

Theme: True love is eternal