The Homophobic Straight Man Becomes a Top-Grade Cultivation Furnace

Ling Shu has always been a sucker for beautiful women. After he transmigrates to a world of cultivation with his love rival, Long Aotian, he can no longer admire beauties, and has to serve the guy tea and water and act as his lackey every day. How infuriating! To teach his arrogant rival a lesson, Ling Shu cultivates an extraordinary technique with the guidance of his golden finger, a fox spirit. Other people’s immortal foundations are things like the pathetically weak [Divine Yinglong], [Life of All Things], and [Son of Heaven]. But the immortal foundation he forms, the [Yin Bodhisattva], sounds even more powerful, and its divine abilities are extraordinary too. [Divine Countenance]: He can cultivate the compassionate face of a bodhisattva and an indestructible diamond body. He’ll study it seriously! [Nectar]: His tears and sweat are premium nectar that can help people break through cultivation bottlenecks. He’ll study it seriously! [Universal Salvation]: He can exorcise vengeful spirits and fiends over a wide area, and even buff his teammates. He’ll study it seriously! [Conversion]: He can bless believers with good fortune, while traitors have their souls destroyed. He’ll study it seriously! [Bestow Offspring]: He can grant his believers children, whose talents will be extraordinary. It seems to be the ability of the Child-Giving Guanyin. He doesn’t need it, but he’ll study it seriously anyway! ...The fox spirit also tells him there are thirty-three manifestations of the bodhisattva, and he has thirty-three divine abilities too! But only later does Ling Shu discover that he hasn’t been cultivating some kind of Bodhisattva Way at all. He’s been duped by that shameless fox spirit into cultivating the unparalleled human-cauldrons path. The immortal foundation he formed isn’t the [Yin Bodhisattva], but the [Essence-Swallowing Cauldron]. The divine abilities are pretty similar, but why do they sound so strange? [Stunning Beauty]: He gains a naturally seductive charm and an exquisite, sensuous beauty. One smile can topple a kingdom. [Fragrant Essence]: His tears, sweat, and every other fluid his body produces are top quality, leaving people wanting more. [Group Bliss]: Anyone who forms a bond with him receives a boost, and intimate contact can purify vengeful spirits and evil demons. [Bonding]: Anyone who forms a bond with him becomes his believer. If they bond with someone else, they die on the spot. [Conceiving Offspring]: He can grant his believers children, whose talents will be extraordinary... Except he has to give birth himself?! Ling Shu, raising his voice: Oh no! My Yin Bodhisattva has turned into a counterfeit Flesh Bodhisattva! Long Aotian, who used to look down on the lovesick Ling Shu, wraps his golden dragon tail tightly around him. “You and I are destined to be together... You were born to be my wife... We lost seventeen years... I’m going to make up for every minute and every second of the rest of our lives, twice over...” The aloof, out-of-reach beauty of the Jinghong Immortal Sect destroys his cultivation in the Heartless Dao for a loser. “Only after I fell in love with Ling Shu did Feng Zhaojin’s life truly begin.” His gentle, compassionate moonlight master turns out to be willing to use vines to suck away his very last tear. “Shushu, I’m sorry... Just endure a little longer... One last time.” The merman prince, imprisoned and bled for his essence, sheds pearl-like tears from his blue eyes. “Brother, do you not need my essence anymore? I’ll be good and do as I’m told. Don’t leave me...” Even the Heavenly Demon, sealed for ten thousand years, descends looking ready to devour him whole. “Still trying to run away, my darling?” Ling Shu, despairing: I’m like a clay bodhisattva crossing a river, and I can’t even save myself... I’d rather transmigrate back to McDonald’s and cultivate the Pizza Way! That’s still better than that stinking fried chicken! 1. A harem of admirers. Formerly lovesick, timid, and spineless, the bottom later becomes a stunningly beautiful, powerful ray of sunshine. Top: Long Aotian, aloof top, gentle top, scheming top... All important characters are sexually inexperienced. One top wears women’s clothing (only at the start; he wears men’s clothing afterward). I want to write every type of top, so be warned if you dislike beautiful tops. 2. Neither the top nor the bottom is perfect! Theme: Stay calm in the face of temptation.