A Tale of Chasing My Husband to the Crematorium

1.

Ming An was an ill-fated little shadow guard. He had a cold, handsome face that was hard to tell as male or female, but in truth he was as simple-minded as they came. When he was little, Wen Renxiu found him in the Cold Palace, a battered corpse with barely a breath left in him.

Wen Renxiu was an unfavored prince, vicious yet weak, struggling to live like a pitiful stray dog.

Holding Ming An's tiny body, he curled up with him in the Cold Palace, enduring one cruel, freezing night after another.

They clung to life in the darkest corner of the world.

2.

On the coldest nights, Wen Renxiu's eyes still burned with dark, smoldering ambition and defiance.

He said, "One day, I'll make sure you live well."

He said, "No one will ever bully us again."

He said, "I'm your older brother. We'll always be together."

Back then, Ming An looked at his weak face, forcing a smile, and nodded faintly before curling up in his arms.

His empty, lifeless eyes took on the faintest flicker at Wen Renxiu's words, and he felt the warmth radiating from him.

He thought, I'll stay by my older brother's side forever.

He thought, I'd do anything for him... even though I'm kind of afraid of pain.

So Ming An became his shadow guard, protecting him and risking his life for him.

3.

Wen Renxiu steadily climbed to the top, while Ming An, his shadow guard, carved his way through all of Chang'an for him.

Ming An staggered his way out of one near-fatal mission after another, his body battered and covered in blood, yet a smile tugged at his lips as he gazed at Wen Renxiu with damp eyes, hoping only to earn a head-pat and a word of praise.

Wen Renxiu fed him a gu that ate away at his life, causing agony every month on the fifteenth, all so he could grow stronger and clear every obstacle from Wen Renxiu's path.

On the night of each month's fifteenth, while Ming An, who was so afraid of pain, suffered until he wanted to die, Wen Renxiu held his trembling body tight, kissed his cheek, and murmured again and again, "Your older brother is here."

Ming An's pale, obedient gaze always followed Wen Renxiu's retreating figure. He kept letting himself be battered and broken for him.

At last, Wen Renxiu became the Prince Regent, a man second only to the emperor and above all others. He was The Outcast, wielding power over all under heaven and playing with the world as he pleased.

Ming An thought the good days he and his older brother had dreamed of were finally coming.

The days when he would no longer freeze, go hungry, or be in pain. The days his older brother had promised him.

4.

But it seemed his older brother had forgotten him.

Wen Renxiu had become the Prince Regent and gained many shadow guards. It was as if he had forgotten Ming An.

On the fifteenth of each month, he no longer held Ming An through the bone-deep agony, kissing him and whispering over and over that he had to live for him, before their bodies entwined again.

He ordered Ming An to stop calling him "Older Brother" and address him as "Your Highness" instead.

He no longer stroked Ming An's head. Now he recoiled from Ming An's touch, his brows furrowing, his eyes full of haughty indifference and cold disdain.

Why had his older brother changed?

Ming An's stubborn, innocent mind couldn't make sense of it.

5.

On those nights in the Cold Palace when they fought dogs for scraps, they never had enough to eat. Ming An would sneak into the imperial kitchen to steal food. Sometimes he got caught and beaten, but he would still smile for once as he watched Wen Renxiu wolf down his meal.

Ming An had never tasted anything sweet in his life. Wen Renxiu gave him half a piece of sugar cake, and the two of them devoured it. Back then, Wen Renxiu stubbornly promised, "One day, we'll eat sugar cake every day."

But now that he could afford it, Wen Renxiu hated sweets. He would rather give them to the dogs than think of Ming An.

Ming An felt a little hurt, but he still didn't understand.

[You idiot! What don't you understand?! You're a disposable, devoted shadow guard in a novel, risking your life for the male lead gong and protecting him with your own life. In the end, you'll go blind, lose your martial arts, and die a miserable, lonely death!]

[The male lead gong doesn't like you at all, idiot! He just used you to escape the Cold Palace and found someone willing to give everything for him! He's drained you of every bit of value you had, so of course he ignores you now! I, the World Rule, feel sorry for you, so I'm giving you a warning. Run away, quick! You're about to lose your martial arts and go blind for him!]

Ming An calmly ignored the voice claiming to be the World Rule.

He thought perhaps his older brother hadn't kissed him in so long that he was going crazy.

Because his older brother had said that Ming An was the one he loved most.

"What's a male lead gong?"

[It's... the one on top when, you know, that thing happens.]

"Oh. A liar."

Because his older brother wasn't any kind of male lead gong. His older brother was the one underneath him.

6.

Well, he really had gone blind for his older brother, and lost his martial arts too.

It took Ming An a long time to get used to living blind. A film of dust clouded his beautiful, dark eyes, like stars hidden behind a veil. He couldn't see anything or do anything.

It seemed he could no longer be his older brother's blade, or risk his life for him.

So now... could he finally live well?

Ming An waited for Wen Renxiu to remember him, feed him sugar cake, then pat his head and tell him he'd done well.

It would be even better if he kissed him.

Then he heard someone say:

"Your Highness, that shadow guard is quite handsome. I wonder if Your Highness might be willing to part with him... and give him to me?"

The man playing chess with the Prince Regent spoke carefully, seemingly mindful of the bond they had shared back in the Cold Palace.

Ming An had excellent hearing.

He heard Wen Renxiu casually and carelessly rub a chess piece between his fingers. His voice was low and hoarse, utterly unruffled, as he placed a piece on the board.

It sounded like a sneer.

"...He's nothing but a lowly, blind, useless shadow guard, a worthless life. What's there to be reluctant to part with?"

"If you want him, he's yours."

Battered and broken, Ming An had been thrown away once more.

7.

His older brother truly didn't want him anymore.

Ming An thought about it for a long time. At last, his pupils contracted as he reached an unbelievable conclusion: Wen Renxiu really had been using him.

[Idiot! I already warned you! Idiot, idiot, idiot!]

Fine.

For once, Ming An felt a little hurt. He curled up and let a tear fall.

Cast aside, Ming An thought he would have to return to the miserable days of never having enough to eat or warm clothes, and being in pain every day until he wanted to die.

[You really are a lucky little idiot. The kind-hearted male lead shou brought you home.]

The World Rule sighed.

8.

Ming An had started to like this so-called "male lead shou."

He fed Ming An sugar cake. Ming An hadn't tasted anything this sweet in so long.

He wrapped Ming An's battered body up snugly, as if Ming An would never be cold again.

He never made Ming An feel pain. He stroked his head too, and softly kissed his lips. His kisses were softer than his older brother's.

Ming An thought these good days weren't bad either.

[What are you imagining? The male lead shou belongs to the male lead gong. You're just a disposable shadow guard, one part of their play! They'll end up happily ever after, and you'll still die alone. I advise you to leave the male lead shou now. You might still save your life.]

"Oh. Then I'll die."

Ming An's life had always been cheap. He would take as many good days as he could get.

He had never expected to live very long anyway.

[...Be careful. The male lead gong might see how close you are to the male lead shou and kill you with a single sword strike.]

"Yeah. I'm kind of afraid of pain, so one strike is good."

[You shameless, stupid, disposable extra!]

9.

Ming An didn't wait for Wen Renxiu to kill him with a single strike. Instead, he saw Wen Renxiu punch the male lead shou in the face.

His eyes were dark and gloomy as he gripped the male lead shou by the throat, his voice hoarse and low. "...Give him back to me!"

Ming An had lost his martial arts and gone blind, but he still had some strength left. He stepped in front of the male lead shou and pushed Wen Renxiu away, his body radiating a murderous aura.

Chu Yanchen was stunned for a moment. He wiped away the blood at the corner of his mouth, then smiled with his beautiful, bright, peach-blossom eyes. His handsome, otherworldly features turned toward Wen Renxiu in taunting mockery.

"You threw him away. Now he's mine."

Wen Renxiu stared at Ming An standing in front of Chu Yanchen, his expression stunned. His voice was hoarse and dry as he reached out cautiously, wanting to touch Ming An. His last words trembled, and for some reason, his eyes reddened.

"Ming An, your older brother has come to take you home."

Ming An shielded the male lead shou behind him and furrowed his brow as he thought for a moment.

Now that he was blind and had lost his martial arts... what use could he still be?

Oh, he still had his life.

That was bad.

No. The male lead shou had given him so many good days. He had to use the life he had left to protect him.

Ming An shook his head. "Your Highness, my life belongs to him now."

Chu Yanchen wrapped his arms around the little shadow guard from behind. The blood on his lips made his face seem even more ethereal, like an immortal. He replied softly:

"That's right. Ming An is mine now."

"...And I'll be the one to love him forever."

10.

Wen Renxiu didn't know what he had been thinking back then.

As a child, he had cared so much about a lowly shadow guard, even... even letting himself be taken from below.

He had only done it because the worthless thing had some use to him, perhaps.

But he still couldn't hold back the disgust and revulsion surging in his chest.

So he watched with cold indifference as Ming An went blind and lost his martial arts protecting him, then gave him away.

11.

But Wen Renxiu was always seized by an inexplicable restlessness. Then, one night beneath the moon, he saw the little shadow guard kissing Chu Yanchen and froze.

A shattering, wrenching emotion invaded his mind. He stepped forward and punched Chu Yanchen in the face.

Then, in a daze, he saw Ming An's furrowed brows and disgusted expression.

Wen Renxiu didn't know what had come over him.

He was just trembling all over, wanting to cry, wanting to beg Ming An to come back to his side.

1. In the original story, there is no romantic pairing between the male lead gong and male lead shou. There are hidden circumstances behind the groveling pursuit. The gong is beautiful and strong, while the shou is submissive. Later, there are scenes where the gong gets together with the "male lead shou." Read on to see whether the "male lead gong" manages to win back his love. If he does, it's "I'm not here to break up this family. I'm here to join it." If he doesn't, the story ends with the "male lead shou" in a one-on-one pairing, though it might also end with the "male lead gong" in a one-on-one pairing.

2. An innocent, stubborn, indifferent young dog-like shadow guard, beautiful and the gong; shou 1 is a cold, ruthless, haughty Prince Regent, and shou 2 is a refined, bright, scheming, dignified Imperial Tutor.

3. I want to write the kind of satisfying groveling pursuit story I enjoy, a self-indulgent work. The gong will ultimately live a long life, and his health will recover.

Theme: A groveling pursuit to win back one's love.