Graduation season has kept me so busy that I've put this off until now. I'll definitely finish it in June! (This time I'll definitely manage to cash out, not!)
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Blurb:
[Beep: Spiritual power test result: 0.00001]
[Congratulations on setting a new record for the most useless person in the galaxy!]
As her wrist computer popped up a mocking notification, Shen Zhao was dripping cultivation-world-exclusive Heart-Smiling, Half-Step-Collapse into a test tube.
Three days ago, Shen Zhao, the cultivation world's deadliest poison master, had just transmigrated into an orphan with no parents, no family, and no love.
Now, less than two hours after her spiritual power report came out, her family was already discussing sending her to a garbage planet.
Shen Zhao looked at the original owner's spiritual power report and laughed. “What a coincidence. This venerable one specializes in dealing with anyone who refuses to be convinced.”
What's so impressive about bullying the weak?
As everyone waited to see the good-for-nothing get exiled,
she whipped out an application to the Federal University. “If I get in, Third Uncle, how about you put up that 3S mech you treasure as the wager?”
On the day of the exam, Shen Zhao swung her family's ancestral Yixing teapot and poured Seven-Step Heartbreak Powder mixed with Crane's Crown Red onto a rusty mech.
“Warning! Unauthorized potions are prohibited...”
Before the sentence was even finished, the screen burst into a sky full of golden light. The rusty training mech was not only restored to pristine condition, it also beat the Zerg simulator with an “SSS+” critical hit.
The whole thing took less than two and a half minutes. She passed.
But when her admission notice appeared, Shen Zhao realized something was wrong.
[Congratulations on your admission to Mech Design, Class F]
Shen Zhao: ?
Wait, who changed her application?!
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The privileged students in Class F were betting on how many days the new softie would last.
Day one: Shen Zhao was kicked out to clean the potion waste pool.
Day two: She fished more than ten pounds of expired medicinal sludge out of the pool.
Day three: She used the sludge to synthesize a Heart-Smiling, Half-Step-Collapse spray. During an exercise, she took out an entire mech assault company, and the opposing instructor called for a stop while sneezing.
On the nth day, the entire Class F held a grand ceremony at Federal University to recognize Shen Zhao as their leader.
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In Star Calendar 3025, the Interstellar Convention added a new clause: It is forbidden to say Shen Zhao's mech is ugly!
Upcoming novel 1: The Fairytale Princess in Space
[Strong interstellar heroine + black magic + satisfying comeback]
In Star Calendar 307, an Imperial salvage ship discovered an unusual exile on a garbage planet.
She could assemble discarded parts into a dancing mechanical pumpkin carriage and grow glass slippers woven from energy-devouring vines in radioactive dust. Most absurd of all,
she claimed to be Jia Meng, the last princess of a fairytale star realm swallowed by a black hole.
The Alliance military academy principal hurriedly dumped this hot potato into Class F. But on the night of a military exercise, someone targeted her and threw her into a recreation of a Zerg annihilation battlefield.
“How many minutes do you bet this crazy princess will survive?”
As everyone laughed, the girl turned on her mech's external speakers. “You're listening to a special midnight broadcast of Aesop's Fables...”
The vast swarms of scythe bugs collapsed and began humming lullabies.
When the rescue team arrived, all they found was a princess who'd built a crystal coffin out of Zerg. “Cinderella says she has to become the Alliance commander before midnight. Can one of you show me the way?”
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At first, the entire universe mocked this lunatic who was always going on about “crystal coffins” and “poison apples.”
But later, on the day the Zerg army descended,
The girl stood atop the wreckage of a crashed starship. Her torn protective suit billowed into a cloak of swan feathers, and her bloodied fingertip traced a parchment scroll on the holographic display. “I swear by Chapter 7, Article 3 of Hans Christian Andersen's Fairy Tales...”
In an instant, starlight went berserk. All mech weapons crumbled to dust, and the Zerg queen wept herself to death in a fiery blaze as the aria from The Little Mermaid played.
Only then did people understand:
When she told Cinderella, the seven dormant mechs before her awakened and became hers to command.
When she read Rapunzel to a pirate chief, god-slaying vines grew over the space fortress.
When she softly hummed Sleeping Beauty to a fallen soldier, the casualty list began to shrink.
Someone once held a lightsaber to her neck and demanded, “Are you a doomsday witch or a savior?”
The fairytale princess, her hands cuffed, hooked a finger into his medal ribbon.
“Shh. This is a paid chapter of Little Red Riding Hood.”
Upcoming novel 2: The Beggar Clan Leader in Space
The day Chu Jiughe, the eighteenth-generation heir to the Beggar Clan, was hunted down, she happened to fall into a rift in time and space and transmigrate to the interstellar age.
Looking at the mech wreckage lying everywhere, with no one to claim it, Chu Jiughe slapped her thigh in excitement.
She knew it!
Heaven wants the Beggar Clan to rise!
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Chu Jiughe, devoted to the cause of the Beggar Clan, accidentally wandered into the selection trials for the Federation's top military academy.
The result?
While everyone else piloted mechs to compete for resources, she held an iron bowl and clanged it loudly. “Kind young ladies and gentlemen, spare a coin! An empty bowl leaves the heart in a panic!”
Someone jeered, “Did this beggar walk onto the wrong set?”
Who could have guessed that the very next moment,
A sack covered a cannon muzzle, a broken bowl clamped onto a mech joint, and a dog-beating stick jabbed straight into the power core!
Everything she passed was left utterly destroyed.
The examinees whose mechs had been dismantled covered their crotches.
Chu Jiughe: “Thanks, heroes, for your generous donations!”
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After Chu Jiughe enrolled:
The sons of noble families were tricked into digging through junkyards for rare metals.
The daughter of the Imperial Marshal followed her to beg for alms.
The whole school of elites joined in chanting the “Beggar's Song”!
The next day, the trending topics on StarNet were:
#Taking a closer look at the Federation military academy's new career as a junk collector#
#The military academy's elite all collecting junk: a distortion of human nature or a collapse of morality?#
#The first Beggar Clan in space: who is the leader?#
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Later, A Complete History of the Interstellar Age recorded: In Star Calendar 3012, the Zerg declared a permanent ceasefire after having all their energy crystals plucked away. The event came to be known as the “Beggar Clan's Interstellar Expedition.”
Upcoming novel 3: The Forest's Arrow Saint in Space
[Tribal heroine + space opera + satisfying face-slapping]
Blurb:
[Primitive weapon detected: immediate destruction recommended]
As the mech's AI warning echoed through the exam hall, Lin Se was tying her ponytail with animal sinew.
Her bronze arrow case glimmered in the particle beams, looking just like the last forest on her homeworld that refused to wither.
She was the most absurd student ever admitted to the Federation military academy. With an arrow case shedding wood shavings on her back, she walked into the most terrifying recreation of a battlefield in the entire galaxy.
The noble examinees laughed so hard their laser swords shook. “Does she plan to pierce the Zerg's silicon shells with a tree branch?”
The genius from the starship command program pointed mockingly at the star map. “Interstellar orbital calculations require quantum computing, not your tribe's divination.”
Even the combat AI displayed a warning as she drew her bow: [Cold weapon hit rate: 0.003%: switching to a plasma rifle is recommended]
Until that bone arrow engraved with vine patterns...
Pierced the iris authentication system of an SSS-class mech!
Pinned the engine valve of a space capsule!
And blossomed into an emerald forest inside the Zerg queen's birthing chamber!
Only then did they remember what the ancient texts said:
When the greedy have drained a star core of its energy, the Daughter of the Earth will turn every traitor into a new forest.
[Warning! Abnormal energy fluctuations detected...]
[Warning! Arrow trajectory has exceeded the twelve-dimensional jump equation...]
[Warning! The ecology module of the planet-killer battleship is spontaneously growing broadleaf plants...]
Now it was Lin Se's turn to smile at the trembling Zerg.
“Want to give it a try?”
“Will your worker bugs eat all my arrows first...”
“Or will my arrows make the galaxy grow flesh and blood again?”
Theme: Everyone has a talent the world needs
The Forest's Arrow Saint in the Interstellar Era
Fairy-Tale Princess in the Stars
Escape Game, but My Enemies Are Everywhere
Bound to a Cuddling System with My Mortal Enemy
Endless Game, but I Win by Scavenging and Lying Low
A Washed-Up Nobody Doesn’t Care About Their Background, Going Crazy Is Happiness
Spreading Tea Culture by Livestreaming with People from the Past
Reborn as a Prince: The Good-for-Nothing Fifth Daughter
After Nuclear Contamination, I Was Reborn as a Mutant King Crab
I Refuse to Say I Like You
The Biggest Scapegoat in the Cultivation World
A New Counselor's Onboarding Guide [Infinite]
Sorry everyone, because I have been busy with printing recently, I have temporarily put the update on hold for a few days. I will resume the update from today, and I will make up for the two chapters I owed~ [Spreading Flowers]
Jinjiang Writing Assistant crashed for some reason, showing that I am not a contracted author, and the update page cannot be opened. Let's see if the platform can restore my author status tonight, otherwise I won't be able to update (holding my forehead and smiling bitterly) Life kissed me so hard that I died of pain.
Tomorrow is Chinese Valentine's Day, everyone in the Chinese team should be happy [let me be healthy] [let me be healthy] [let me be healthy]
Sorry, because my physical condition in the dormitory has not been good for the past two days. I have been infected and am recovering from illness, so I will update it around 6.22 (Tomorrow). I will also find opportunities to make up for the two missing chapters [Rose]
Something happened today, I will make up this chapter tomorrow 😭
I have something to do today, so I will update in about half an hour to an hour [Rose]
Classes are full today, so I'll update about an hour later 😭
One breath! Have fun! Paper wedding dress 5! However, I forgot to update Liao 🤔
Attention everyone! There was something wrong with this chapter, and I accidentally posted the scrapped article! Only then did I realize that it had been modified!
Classes are full today, I will update half an hour to an hour later [Rose]