I Drove a Famous Scholar Mad, and Now I Don't Want to Take Responsibility

Zhuang Caiwei is a concubine-born daughter. Constrained by her status, she keeps her ambitions hidden, growing up carefully, obediently, and cautiously. The one thing she is best at is pretending.

In other people's eyes, she is a sweet and pretty young woman with delicate features and smiling, crescent-shaped eyes. In winter, she lifts the rabbit-fur lining of her cloak and smiles at people, stirring their hearts.

At first, she wanted to marry her handsome cousin, who rode proudly through Chang'an.

After finally luring him in, her legitimate elder sister intervened, ruining both her marriage prospects and her reputation.

Zhuang Caiwei was so furious she sat in her room for three nights. When she opened her eyes, she had thought of a plan.

She would seduce her elder sister's teacher, the renowned Master Qu, celebrated throughout the court.

Master Qu was learned and well-read, stern and austere, and a taciturn scholar of his generation.

Her cousin lowered his head and greeted him deferentially. Her elder sister grew flustered and shy in his presence.

His name resounded among the scholars, his family background was distinguished, and he had no interest in women. All of this made girls across the realm flutter with apprehension and excitement, and it made Zhuang Caiwei's heart flutter too.

On a snowy night, she climbed up to a bamboo window to secretly watch Master Qu practice his calligraphy, then accidentally fell.

She curled up in the snow, her rabbit-red eyes glistening with tears. The fur on her cloak fluttered in the cold wind as she lifted her sweet face toward Master Qu, who had come out after opening the door.

Master Qu stood with his hands behind his back, his robes stirred by the wind. His voice was calm and low:

"What are you doing, miss?"

"Master." She let a tear fall at just the right moment, her eyes clear and shimmering. "I want to study under you."

He looked at her and slowly froze in surprise.

Later, after Zhuang Caiwei had gone to great lengths to get herself nestled in Master Qu's arms while he guided her hand with a brush, she still earnestly pretended to be studying hard.

When he held her wrist and patiently explained things to her in bed, his voice mild and never impatient, she pretended to understand perfectly and think deeply about his words.

He brewed medicine for her. He set aside his books to massage her aching forearms. He thought carefully and prepared an extravagant birthday gift for her. He gave her the calligraphy he was most proud of, a piece that even the celebrated scholars of the realm and the emperor had failed to obtain.

Zhuang Caiwei truly learned a great deal from Qu Xinhong. Little by little, she grew into a young woman who lived for more than childish vengeance, and whose conduct and knowledge were both refined and dignified.

So she used her knowledge and insights to pledge her loyalty to the Fourth Prince.

Later, she became the most valued female strategist at the Fourth Prince's side, and seemed to become the leading candidate to be his consort.

Zhuang Caiwei was quite satisfied, until one day she went to offer incense at a royal temple, her face hidden beneath a veiled hat.

Beneath an ancient tree stood a tall, slender figure, gazing up at its branches. The tree towered into the sky, yet he bent down and picked a wild plant from the snow beneath it.

The sight was so familiar that her heart stopped.

Even after stepping onto the battlefield of the struggle for the throne, Qu Xinhong still could not understand how much of it was driven by an ambition left unfulfilled, and how much by those eyes that had reddened as they looked at him in the snow that year.

He rolled the plant he had picked from the ground between his fingers. "I climbed that southern hill and gathered the ferns." He crushed the plant between his fingertips.

Just as he would do at so many moments afterward, by day he would match wits with the female officials at the Fourth Prince's side. In private, he would crush the girl who always looked at him so innocently against him, watching her tremble and rage, watching her glare at him with eyes blazing like fire, listening as she bit out his name: "Qu Xinhong, you lunatic."

She was a blazing fire in the snow, but once he had mistaken her for a gauzy veil stirred by the wind.

No one knew they shared the same origin, moving in opposite directions and becoming shadows to each other. Only he could see the threads binding them together, never coming loose.

He could also see himself, carrying the knowledge he had devoted his youth to acquiring, abandoning the way of the gentleman he had once sworn to follow, all for the sake of winning back someone he had lost.

From then on, he would walk alone through a thousand mountains, defying propriety and making his own way.

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Theme: The dignified need chaos