A Pearl in My Grasp

I won't be writing for a while. Yuan Susu's name comes from the poem "New Year's Day": "Amid the sound of firecrackers, another year comes to an end; the spring breeze brings warmth to the people of Tusu." Her birthday was meant to outshine everyone else's too, so she was born on New Year's Day. The first "Su" means the revival of all things; the second means renewal and rebirth, expressing her father's feelings for her mother, who died young. Two plot points come later: 1. The heroine gives the hero a new life, and he sees "Su" as meaning the birth of all things. When I chose a new title in March 2023, I mentioned on Weibo that "The Birth of All Things" had been one option. 2. When the heroine competes with the two princes, Xie Qu mentions her name to show his affection for her, but the heroine and her father rebut him. This ties in with the hero's perspective in the previous point, highlighting that among the male characters, he's the only one who's genuinely pure-hearted and sincere in his admiration for her, and the only one who looks up to her with such fervor. Please don't make things up or yell at me anymore. Thanks... January 2024 [Heartless, Arrogant Heiress x Love-Struck Madman | Taming a Dog] In her previous life, Yuan Susu met a tragic end. Born into a powerful clan, she naturally wanted nothing less than a life of dazzling prosperity. So when the Third Prince, Xie Wuji, was at the height of his fame, she used the debt he owed her for saving his life to secure the position of his princess consort. Later, he was placed under house arrest, and everyone around him was killed, drawing countless others into the disaster. For the sake of her own safety and her family's honor, she didn't hesitate for long before arranging a place for Xie Wuji's old servants, then breaking off their engagement. The First Prince, supported by the court and known for his virtue and gentleness; the Ninth Prince, doted on by all and used to having everything his own way. They had both indulged her and courted her for years. She had more than one choice. But she never expected Xie Wuji to emerge from confinement one day. Wielding a sword, he fought his way to the throne. Yuan Susu was imprisoned in the palace and, without warning, died after drinking a bowl of poison. When she woke, she had returned to the age of fifteen. Recalling the pain of coughing up blood, Yuan Susu finally suppressed her rage and took up a dagger. In this life, anyone who tried to harm her would die. - Xie Wuji was born in the countryside and had never imagined Yuan Susu would even notice him. He had always looked up to her and yearned for her. He hoped she would dissect him, possess him, but fate always seemed to thwart him. Yuan Susu appeared to care about no one. On the day she died, though he had spent years killing without mercy, he sat in the snow with his bloodied hands clutching the hem of her clothes until his whole body turned cold. He didn't move. His heart was utterly lost, like a child who had suddenly forgotten which way to go. When he woke, he discovered he had returned to his youth. A ruined temple, a cold window, a bitter wind. This was where Yuan Susu had once saved him, setting in motion everything that followed. But now things were different. Yuan Susu stood outside the window. Only when he was nearly dead did she come in, bind his bleeding wound, grip his chin, and ask gently, "Do you remember me?" "I'm Yuan Susu, the one who saved your life." "I'm the only one in this world who can save you." She smeared the blood on her hand across his face and said softly, "If you heard me, answer." At the familiar tone, Xie Wuji trembled all over. At last, life returned to his eyes, and he smiled. "All right." How could she know? He loved looking up at her like this. Yuan Susu, I want you to save me. I want your pity, your possession, your use of me. Anything at all, as long as you know that I am the person in this world most willing to change everything about myself to suit you. I can have no self of my own, as long as you look at me, even just a little. Content warnings: 1. The heroine was not killed by the hero. 2. The hero is abused throughout. If you like madmen who objectify themselves, the more he's tormented, the more excited he gets. 3. The heroine grows over the course of the story. Theme: Learn to let go.