[Western Crossover] 100 Ways to Refuse to Become Batman's Kid

*Planned to start writing in the first half of 2026

When You Get Bound to a Bat-Boy System, but You're Too Old for It, So You Can Only Call Batman Daddy in Bed

At thirteen, Allion was supposed to be dropped into a superhero universe. With the help of his warm and considerate "Bat-Boy System" and his naturally black hair and blue eyes, he would be adopted by the Waynes at a young age and embark on the path of a vigilante, whether as a tragic hero or a Mary Sue, becoming one of countless Bat-Boys.

But little Allion's transmigration went wrong.

John Wick, Kingsman... Allion clawed his way through blood and corpses. It wasn't until he had learned from John Wick how to take out an entire bar with a pencil that he was finally dropped into the DC universe and reunited with his new System.

The new universe was peaceful and quiet. After decades on the run, Allion just wanted to stay far away from trouble and live as an ordinary Gotham citizen.

But his tardy Bat-Boy System was still clinging to its original mission, urging him to accept his fate as a Bat-Boy and enjoy the Wayne trust fund.

System: It's Wayne! Go make friends with him!

Allion: I spent ten years working for nothing next door. My heart is colder than Batman's gaze.

System: It's a criminal! Call Batman!

Allion: At my age, wearing tiny green shorts would be a public nuisance.

System: It's the big blue bird! Quick--

Allion: Stop, hold on! I mean, is it possible I'm actually an adult older than Nightwing?

Huh? An adult?

If the System's goal was to get Batman to call someone "Father," why couldn't they solve the problem in a more adult way?

Looking at Wayne's suit, blue eyes, and bulging chest, Allion mused, "You know, there's another way to call Batman Daddy."

"Y-you, don't go near Wayne!" His System, rated for audiences under eighteen, shrieked.

Allion's follow-up, part 1:

"...Hey, System, remember to turn off that whatever-buff that attracts Batman's attention."

"Huh? What are you talking about, Host? I haven't turned anything on."

Seeing a pair of black ears barely visible in the distance, Allion suddenly felt an extra toothache on top of his sore back.

Wasn't the playboy not supposed to take it seriously? Could Wayne really have a thing for people calling him Daddy?

Allion's follow-up, part 2:

"Did you hear? Timmy said he saw someone calling Bruce 'Dad' yesterday."

"What?! I haven't even called him that!"

"Wait, black hair and blue eyes too... Okay, we need to talk to B."

"Listen, Bruce, you can't keep bringing kids home, especially when this gentleman looks so much older--"

"Dick, Allie isn't going to be your brother."

"Oh, good... Wait, then what exactly did Tim hear?!"

Note:

1. Pairing: Bruce/Batman. Not Dad Batman. He already has Wing, Bucket, and Tim, but he still tells awful jokes.

2. Besides the two franchises mentioned in the blurb, this also crosses over with agents from various CIAs, active and retired.

3. The timelines are mixed together, especially for the spy stories, with a lot of my own inventions.

4. The Bat-Family section has an overall warm, happy tone. No bashing any good characters from the original works, and no inflammatory comments.

Everything above may still change before the story officially begins.

Theme: Any man can be a father, but...