I Told You, a Lazybones Can't Cultivate Immortality

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Jiang Xubai transmigrated into a book.

In his first life, a shady System tricked him. The sickly, lazy good-for-nothing was forced to toil relentlessly in the cultivation world, even getting caught up in a male-male romance.

He mastered an introductory cultivation technique in five days, then went from a martial arts dunce to a household name in three years.

To cure his illness, he became a love fraud, using his top-tier lovesick performance to win himself a genius healer husband who adored him to the point of obsession.

He was just one step away from becoming an immortal lord, the chosen one who conquered all, when the System forcibly severed their connection and sent him plummeting into an abyss. Only on the brink of death did he learn from the System that he was merely an unlucky cannon-fodder character, working for the protagonist for free.

After he died, he could only watch as the real chosen one, who had been benefiting from his hard work, rose to success.

His noble and refined husband went mad with grief over his death and became a great villain.

On the day of the decisive battle, the heavens split apart. Jiang Xubai, now a wandering spirit, was knocked unconscious by the shock.

When he opened his eyes again, he was back where the dream began.

In a daze, he heard the System coax him: "Would you like to bind with me?"

Jiang Xubai thought it over for one second. "I'll pass, thanks."

**

Given a second life, Jiang Xubai decided to give up striving and go back to being a lazy fish.

Lazy-fish rule number one: be the least ambitious, most idle bottom-ranked disciple in the sect.

During a trial, the System told him to go to some secret realm because it had a treasure.

He agreed, then made a bed by the entrance and slept for three days and nights.

When the System said a rare demon beast was roaming nearby, he grabbed a hoe and went to dig up wild herbs by its cave.

Lazy-fish rule number two: absolutely no more getting involved with men. Change the villain's fate.

He called off his engagement with the Su family and went along with his cheap father's wishes, marrying a sickly man.

On the day of the wedding, the sickly groom stopped breathing on the way there. Jiang Xubai dug a grave for his "late husband," planning to take the chance to see the world outside. But as he turned around, he ran into another grand wedding procession.

His husband from his previous life, dressed in bright red wedding robes, swung down from his horse and swept him into his arms, smiling tenderly. "Your husband is late."

Jiang Xubai turned in a panic to look at the brand-new grave he had just dug for his "late husband." "Uh... is this right?"

Reading guide: A lazy but formidable, sickly beauty on the receiving end × a seemingly gentle and innocent, truly scheming, lovesick top

Also known as: The Little Couple Both Think They're Good at Pretending to Be Lovesick, but It's All Genuine Feeling

The Lazy Cultivator's Sect Life

With a lazy Host like this working for the chosen one, System, how can you sleep at night?

Next historical danmei novel: Hello, I'm Here to Be the Imperial Preceptor

Blurb:

After the war between immortals and demons ended, the monsters were all suppressed, the immortal capital was destroyed, and the Divine Lord fell into a long sleep in the Sea of No Delusion.

In the third month of spring, Qing Luo woke in the mountains. After overhearing some women gathering wild greens chatting, he learned that the world had changed beyond recognition and a thousand years had passed in the mortal realm.

They said there were no immortals left in the world.

Qing Luo quietly told himself that there were. He was one, though only a very, very weak little immortal.

When immortals enter the mortal world, they grow weaker without the power of belief from worshippers to sustain them. Qing Luo had tried many ways of earning a living among humans, but none brought him that power.

One day, he saw an old man in a long robe, with a head of white hair, dancing and gesticulating on a high city wall, saying things nobody could understand. Countless townspeople knelt below in reverence, and in an instant, the power of their incense offerings flowed without end.

Qing Luo asked the old man kneeling beside him who that was. The man said he was the Imperial Preceptor, revered by thousands and capable of anything.

So Qing Luo made up his mind. He would become the Imperial Preceptor.

With his bundle on his back, Qing Luo headed north, applying to become an Imperial Preceptor in one country after another. Who would have thought he wouldn't even make it through the capital gates before the guards drove him off as a crazy fool?

Everyone said an Imperial Preceptor should be an otherworldly, white-haired sage, not a little beggar like him.

Undaunted by rejection everywhere he went, Qing Luo learned from each experience and made his way to the last capital in the north.

*

Lou Qianzhou, the ruler of Beidu, was diligent and cared for his people. In the few years since taking the throne, he had turned Beidu, a land impoverished and plagued by constant war, into a wealthy and powerful nation.

But then an unknown disaster struck the capital. Plants began to wither one after another, and the people were afflicted by strange illnesses. The young emperor was overwhelmed with worry, while the whole country was at a loss.

A minister suggested that they post a recruitment notice, seeking a gifted and capable Imperial Preceptor to pray for Beidu and drive away evil.

Lou Qianzhou did not believe in spirits, but to reassure his terrified people, he had no choice but to agree.

On the day the notice was posted, a crowd gathered outside the market. A filthy little beggar pushed through them and took down the notice before everyone's eyes.

In the great hall, Lou Qianzhou looked down at the filthy little beggar. His gaze moved slowly from the stunning face now wiped clean to the conspicuous shock of white hair.

The young emperor spoke with rare hesitation. "Say that again. What do you want to do?"

"Hello, I'm here to become the Imperial Preceptor!" The white-haired beauty's eyes shone as he declared it with conviction.

Later.

Qing Luo rolled over on the emperor's bed. His dark hair fell down, hiding the little red marks on his pale shoulders. He glared at the person beside him. "How dare you, Lou Qianzhou, show such disrespect to the Imperial Preceptor."

Lou Qianzhou pulled the slender little Imperial Preceptor into his arms by the waist. "But, Your Excellency, you're the Empress now."

Theme: When one path is blocked, take another