I once had a beautiful first love named Ohtani Yezo, but he later died in an accident. I was heartbroken. Then I thought of my mother, who died young, my alcoholic father, and my lunatic brother who wanted to get it on with his own sibling, and decided once and for all to run away from home.
I threw away everything I had that could possibly have a tracking device hidden in it. After taking a roundabout route, I ended up somewhere I barely recognized. I checked a street sign and found out I was in Yokohama.
Then someone robbed my wallet.
Me: ...
With no money to my name, I figured I was terribly unlucky. I curled up in a corner and thought dying might not be so bad. Life was already so pointless. I might as well die for my first love.
But fate wasn't done with me. A beautiful blue-eyed boy saved me. He told me this was the dangerous Slum, then took me in after I spun him a sob story. And so I became a member of the Sheep.
Later, the beautiful blue-eyed boy, Nakahara Chuuya, joined some company called the Port Mafia. I didn't want anything to do with an illegal organization, so I left Yokohama.
But I didn't want to stay at home anymore. After skipping several grades, I was soon leaving to study in Russia.
Before I left, I decided to go back to Yokohama for a visit.
I ran into a strange guy.
This white-haired man in a blindfold said I had some special-grade cursed spirit on me. He was obviously a fraud, though it was a shame about that handsome face.
I had nothing better to do, so I played along with his little routine. And then I actually saw my dead first love. But he'd become so ugly and creepy, sullying the pure image I had of him. I quickly told the blindfolded man to exorcise him.
...Even if you're my first love, you can't follow me around with a face that ugly. If you want to rekindle our romance, at least use your old face! Even this unscrupulous teacher in front of me is a hundred times better-looking than you.
The unscrupulous white-haired teacher: ...Hey!
I went on a trip to Italy and ran into the Mafia.
Tch, why are there so many Mafia in the world... Wait, aren't those my middle school classmates? How did they end up in the underworld?
After graduating from university, I returned home, then went back to Yokohama to visit the green-eyed detective friend I'd made last time.
...And then I saw my dead ex-boyfriend.
Ugh, why won't he leave me alone? Did he think I wouldn't recognize him just because he had a couple of bandages wrapped around his head? He hadn't even covered his face.
The bandage man looked at me resentfully. "Don't mistake me for him."
?
Who would play such a childish body-double game? Do you think you're the hero of some angsty romance novel? What are you saying with those bizarre lines...
Besides, you're the one who came on to me! You lunatics, all of you, stay away from me!
An all-pairings main story in the Bungo Stray Dogs fandom
Theme: Stay away from danger
