[Journey to the West] With a Horde of Monsters, We Rebel!

(A new novel coming soon: Grandma Jia's Diary of Madness [Dream of the Red Chamber]. If you enjoy Dream of the Red Chamber spin-offs, feel free to add it to your collection! It will be posted soon. The blurb is at the bottom ↓)

After overworked office drone Zhou Er dies suddenly from working overtime all night, she transmigrates into Journey to the West and becomes an NPC on Tang Sanzang and his disciples' pilgrimage.

Every day, she opens and closes her eyes only to get killed or find herself on the way to being killed. After yet another monkey bashes her head in with a staff, she finally gets it. "If anyone wants to throw their life away, let them. She certainly won't."

Zhou Er packs up and makes a run for it.

"How can that be? If she runs off, who will take over her shift?"

So before Zhou Er has even gone a mile, she's dragged back. After a battle of wits, she signs a series of "unequal" agreements with Guanyin Bodhisattva. Hoping to return to the modern world, Zhou Er begins diligently completing her missions.

During one mission, Zhou Er discovers that Tang Sanzang is also a transmigrator, and the very client who's been giving her a hard time. Now this is getting interesting! Zhou Er abandons her usual slacker attitude and makes teasing Tang Sanzang her ultimate goal.

Before she can enjoy herself for long, Zhou Er learns that the male lead's transmigration wasn't an accident: he was sent to protect Sun Wukong.

"How come your mission is so noble, while mine is just to wait around to get killed? If you won't do it, then I will. I'm going to save my childhood idol, too."

Before she can even finish saving her idol, she learns that the faster she completes her mission, the sooner she'll die. It turns out everything is just a game played by those at the top, and she's nothing but nourishment raised by them.

(Note: Tang Sanzang's personality in this novel isn't based on his portrayal in TV and film adaptations, but on the original Journey to the West. Some readers may find my portrayal of him rather sleazy, but I swear the Tang Sanzang in the original isn't a perfect holy monk. He is unwavering in his faith and compassionately pities all living beings, but he's also afraid of death, timid, cowardly, stubborn, and old-fashioned. He shirks responsibility and threatens others, often boasting that he'll chant the tightening spell until Sun Wukong dies. He even bursts into tears at the drop of a hat, lamenting how hard his journey has been. The Tang Sanzang in the original is a complex and changeable character.)

Shrewish history buff Shi Wenrou has always disdained and loudly criticized Dream of the Red Chamber literature. Then one morning, she wakes up as the old woman she hates most in the genre: Grandma Jia, the venerable Matriarch of the Jia family.

"What rotten luck." Shi Wenrou spits at the reflection of her old face in her cup. The old lady slumps in her seat of honor, looking at a room full of young women and thinking about her fate. Her face is more bitter than her life.

"You rotten heavens, if you won't let me have an easy time, then don't expect your own son to have one either." Shi Wenrou slams the table and rises. A glint flashes in her cloudy old eyes, and her mouth twists into a grin. Everyone in the room feels a chill in their hearts and a shiver down their backs.

"Heh. If I'm not going to have an easy time, then none of you are either."

Lady Wang likes putting on a pious front while being cruel inside? No problem. If she loves appearances so much, then let her put on a proper show.

"Hurry and set up the little shrine. Baoyu's had another fit. The temple master says his mother needs to pray before the Buddha for eighty-one days to cure the poor boy's foolishness."

Wang Xifeng is sharp, capable, and loves power? That's great! What a perfect workhorse.

"Feng, I went out for a stroll yesterday and bought a whole street in the West District. Go take a look tomorrow! Build wherever there's building to do, open shops wherever there's a shop to open. Grandma will support you all the way! A woman should stand on her own two feet!"

Jia Lian is lecherous and spendthrift, and never does any work. Tsk! That's easy to fix.

"Doctor, my stallion's been rather restless lately. Give him something to calm him down."

Lin Daiyu is a lovesick fool?

A lovesick fool? No, no, she's just got too much free time. Bring in a martial arts instructor. From morning till night, she'll train till she drops.

Lin Daiyu looks at the muscles all over her body, close to tears. Shi Wenrou nods with satisfaction. "Mm, good. A healthy body is the foundation of hard work. How can you be a workhorse without a strong body?"

He only loves pretty women, not books?

Shi Wenrou shakes her head. "It's all because you're too idle. You don't like studying? You don't care for worldly things? Fine! The ancestral fields are waiting for you. You can come home once you've finished plowing them."

Jia Baoyu sits in a rice paddy, wailing. "Grandma, I want to go home and study! I love studying!"

Outsiders all say the Jia family's matriarch has gone mad. The matriarch chuckles. "No, no, no. I'm not the one who's mad. They are."

Shi Wenrou looks at the Jia household, completely transformed, and feels quite pleased. But as the days go by, why is life getting so boring?

Oh, right! What about the promised confiscation of the family estate? When's that happening?

The emperor: "...Matriarch, please don't joke about that. I'm counting on your wealth to fill my private treasury now!"

Theme: Whatever can't defeat me will eventually be defeated by me.