Western Crossover: Why Does My House Keep Exploding?

[This novel has been decided for unpublishing. Please do not purchase it!] [This novel has been decided for unpublishing! This novel has been decided for unpublishing! This novel has been decided for unpublishing!] [In the past few days, many new readers have purchased the novel and then requested refunds. You may not have seen the first line of the blurb before purchasing, or the comments section, or the update date, or my pinned comment. So I've added a few more lines to the blurb to make sure you see them.] [To request a refund, contact me on Weibo and provide your purchase date.] [The more detailed notice was added to the blurb on 12/5/2025.] It takes three steps to put an elephant in a refrigerator. Open the refrigerator door, put the elephant inside, then close the refrigerator door. Pretty simple, right? So here's the question: how many steps does it take to fix up a manor? "Wait," said Impenia. "Is this why you installed a bunch of mods for me?" [Hehe.] The manor chuckled in an innocent attempt to play dumb. Dream* Home, Dream* Aquarium, Dream* Cake Shop... Impenia looked at the pile of life-simulation mods and fell into thought. "I think I get it," Impenia said. "But why is the first quest [Chop five logs]?" [It's good exercise,] the manor said guiltily. [Look, chopping wood gets you materials to repair buildings, and the more you chop, the more exercise points you earn.] "...So on top of those life-simulation mods, you also gave this lousy house a leveling-up mod?!" Fine, I'll laugh it off. Impania put on the eyepatch that gave her an extra stamina bar, deciding she'd fix up the manor first and figure out the rest later. She chopped wood, mined stone, and picked up the Batarangs lying around that nobody wanted. Those counted as iron, right? A few days later, Impenia nodded with satisfaction at the aquarium she'd finally built and wiped the nonexistent sweat from her brow. What a sense of accomplishment! Impenia thought. Should she paint the aquarium rainbow colors next, or change the little pet inside into a red bow? Then a certain Kryptonian rescue dog fell from the sky in his spaceship and blew up the house Impenia had worked so hard to build. Huh? What? After Killer Croc helped her repair the aquarium and climbed back in to be her little pet, Impenia rebuilt the manor's infirmary and successfully treated a few patients. Then a certain short Stark boss descended from the sky with his nuke. Huh? Wait, aren't you from New York? When Impenia had finally repaired most of the manor, she was diligently watering flowers, hoping to get some higher-level seeds, when she suddenly heard an ominous sound tearing through the air. A certain Gotham Knight, just passing by, plunged down from the sky in his jet and crashed straight into the manor's infirmary. Standing amid the wreckage, Impenia held a snow globe containing the Joker and couldn't help feeling that the scene looked oddly familiar. "I get it," she said. "This is actually a scene from the movie Skyfall. Otherwise, there's no explaining why my house keeps getting blown up." The Gotham Knight had just struggled out of his jet. "?" There was nothing else for Impenia to do. She handed the snow globe to the Red Robin who had hurried over, then turned around to fix the infirmary. Sigh, she thought over someone's shrill cries in the background. How long was it going to take to fix this house? [But it's not all bad! We get to spend so much more time together! I'm so happy!] "...You should just shut up already." *Please note* 1. [Manor] is just a [manor]. 2. There may be an excess of dark humor. 3. The author is terrible at writing blurbs. Theme: Diligently fix up the house