The Cursed Spirit Miss Doesn't Want to Exercise

My name is Xingzi, and I'm a cursed spirit.

As a Special Grade born from "fear and hatred of sports," I hate all living activity, but I'm exceptionally athletic.

Unfortunately, when I was young and naive, I got conned by that damned Six-Eyed Divine Child into becoming his students' fitness coach. I worked for the technical college without pay for years.

Senior Nanami was right. Work is shit.

Fed up with working around the clock, I ran away in the middle of the night, only to get caught up in another world because of an accident.

With most of my powers gone, I had no choice but to strike a deal with the world's consciousness and become a local god. By granting my followers' wishes, I could regain my strength.

The first person to summon me was a little kid with a kappa haircut.

He had a beautiful artist for a mother and an awesome imaginary friend.

Aside from being a little noisy, he was a pretty satisfactory client.

So I didn't just smash the heads of the trash who bullied him. I also split into twenty clones to play soccer with him, and even became his mother's assistant so we could create a masterpiece for the ages.

The second to summon me was the king of the Blue Rose Kingdom and his loyal octopus puppy.

The arrogant king had a bad temper and was always bossing me around, so I ignored his orders and helped the team's weak link score a goal.

Whenever I did, the octopus puppy would pop up to scold me. After I gave him a proper dressing-down in return, he'd stare at me with those big, teary eyes, looking so pitiful that I couldn't bring myself to be too harsh.

With no other choice, I blew up their mentor's dormitory, then the three of us ran thirty laps as punishment in the middle of the night.

The third to summon me was a confused little lamb.

He was lost between his parents' expectations and couldn't find his own direction.

I told him, "Buddy, that's not my department. You need to see a therapist."

The noisy crow traveling with him laughed at how useless I was, then made a wish, asking me for a hundred million yen.

I was broke, so I flew into a rage. After crushing the two of them in a one-on-two match, I took the last hundred-yen bill the crow had and flipped him the bird.

Bit by bit, I finally recovered ninety percent of my strength. I only needed to finish one last job, and then I could clock out for good and live happily ever after, bingeing games and anime in my warm bed.

Full of anticipation, I opened the wish channel.

Then I was summoned to a dark room filled with screens.

The man who summoned me called himself Ego Jinpachi, an extreme egotist.

"See those three hundred forwards on the screens?" He pointed at the monitors. "Your goal is to..."

"Kick their asses."

Me: "..."

Haha. Maybe this world should just be destroyed.

Reader's guide:

1. The main story is also in first person. The protagonist joins Blue Lock from the start, with flashbacks interspersed throughout the blurb.

2. Mainly Blue Lock and Jujutsu Kaisen, with heavily altered timelines. Characters from other sports anime will also appear.

3. The heroine is a gloomy, short-tempered wage slave with a perfectly stable mental state.

4. The heroine swears, though she'll replace mother-related insults with father-related ones. She gives the players nicknames and calls them by those names because she can't remember their real names. If you don't think you'll enjoy that, proceed with caution.

Theme: Unity is strength