Livestream Fortune-Telling: You Drew a Lucky Bag, So You're in for a Terrible Time

During his seclusion, the Immortal Venerable inexplicably leaves his body, and his soul possesses a C-list celebrity. The celebrity is drowning in scandals and debt, and his family has run off with all the money. Under all that pressure, he decides to end his life. But the Immortal Venerable can't sing or dance, and he can't act either. Apart from fortune-telling, catching ghosts, drawing talismans, and reading faces, he's good for nothing. A mortal body needs food, drink, and rest. To make money, the Immortal Venerable resolutely starts livestreaming online. Gossip-loving netizens recently discovered that Gu Yanyi, who had been blacklisted by the industry after a gay scandal, had suddenly started livestreaming. But he wasn't selling products, making a fool of himself, or playing for sympathy. He was telling fortunes. Netizen: That's a huge career change. I almost pulled a muscle. In short: what a load of crap. Netizens flocked to watch the spectacle, only to see Gu Yanyi patiently explaining things to the people who called in: "I know you're scared, but don't panic just yet. Your sister-in-law told me she's a little cold right now, so she hopes you'll hurry up and take her out of the freezer." Netizens: ? "An old man's ghost curses you in your dreams? Nothing wrong with that. You threw away his secret stash of cash. Who else would he curse?" Netizens: ?? "A female ghost is haunting you? You stole her dowry. She just wants to marry you in a ghost wedding. Since you already have a wife and a mistress, she doesn't want to demean herself by becoming a concubine. She can only make you marry into her family instead." Netizens: ??? Wait a minute. Is this how Taoists exorcise ghosts? Netizens may not know much, but don't you dare fool them. Gu Yanyi: I offer ghost-catching and fortune-telling, grave-site selection and relocation, feng shui, geomancy, ritual arrays, and talisman-drawing services. My skills are top-notch: my spells banish ghosts without fail. After-sales service is included for both the living and the dead, and my business reaches all the way to the Underworld. We're celebrating our opening, with prices starting at ten percent off. Your patronage is welcome. ------------Notice of Premium Chapters------------ The novel will become a paid story on Thursday, October 24, 2024, starting with Chapter 71. Thank you all again for your support. --------------------Blurb for the Next Novel-------------------- "Invincible Extra" Lu Renjia died suddenly from overwork and unexpectedly became bound to the Extra System. System: Hello, Host. I'm Extra System No. 00001. Your spirit of working day and night moved the heavens, so the Supreme God has specially chosen you to be the first person bound to our newly developed system. We hope that once you enter our novel worlds, you'll keep shining and contribute your remaining energy to the spiritual lives of our readers. Lu Renjia: Say that in plain language. System: The economy is bad, wages are being cut and people are being demoted. There's too much pressure just to survive, the extras have quit, and we're short-staffed. We need you to rush from set to set, playing background characters. Lu Renjia politely declines. He was already worked to death. He doesn't want to keep working himself to death after he's dead. Lu Renjia: I don't have wilderness survival skills. System: That's all right, dear. We have a knowledge base containing billions upon billions of wilderness survival skills, covering every setting from ancient times, modern times, and the apocalypse to cultivation and the interstellar era. We guarantee that even inside a black hole, you'll be able to farm in peace and build infrastructure without fear. Lu Renjia: I can't play a thousand online commenters by myself. System: That's all right, dear. We have an Octopus Mod, a Centipede Mod, a Millipede Mod, and even the top-tier Thousand-Armed Guanyin Mod. We guarantee that a single person's keyboard can have the impact of a thousand people. Lu Renjia: I'm a coward. I'm afraid of ghosts. System: That's all right, dear. We have an incredible Insensitivity Ability Buff. Once you equip it, even if Earth explodes right in front of you, you can finish your last trip to the bathroom without batting an eye. Lu Renjia: So I'm stuck being a corporate wage slave no matter what, huh? System: (*^▽^*) Fine. Since they're so desperate to force him to work, he'll use these skills to crush all the crazed men and women, and become the biggest villain in every novel world. Theme: The gods watch from three feet above your head. Good and evil alike will be repaid in the end.