I, the God of War, Got Tangled Up with a Tree

Meeting that idiot Bai Shiqi was the worst luck Lu Ye ever had!

Being the Heavenly Court's bravest God of War was bad enough. He got banished to the mortal realm for chopping down one of Yue Lao's trees. Then, to earn enough matchmaking points to return to Heaven, he opened a matchmaking agency and had to put up with a parade of weirdos every day. And in the end, his company nearly got acquired, too!

He put up with all of that!

But then he ran into Bai Shiqi in the restroom during a business dinner about the acquisition.

The guy was as beautiful as a celestial being, but his heart was as black as a lotus. Standing by a urinal, the first thing he said to Lu Ye was:

"Nice color, but a little on the small side."

Lu Ye had never met anyone so deserving of a beating. He barely managed to restrain himself.

Only when he returned to the dinner did he realize he'd made the biggest mistake of his life.

That jerk he'd just run into in the restroom was now sitting at the table, smiling and waving at him.

"Hello! I'm Bai Shiqi, CEO of XX Corporation."

XX Corporation was the conglomerate acquiring his company.

Lu Ye gritted his teeth. "Damn it!"

*

The two of them became outright enemies. Between trying to save his company and settling old scores, Lu Ye pulled plenty of dirty tricks on Bai Shiqi:

Including, but not limited to, letting the air out of his tires so he'd miss an important product launch, having someone pour water on the company's money tree to ruin its feng shui, and spreading rumors that he was gay to tank the company's stock...

But Bai Shiqi seemed to slowly accept it, or maybe he'd given up. He never once retaliated.

Lu Ye felt something was off. He was sure Bai Shiqi was up to no good whenever he looked at him, but then he thought: Maybe the guy's just scared of me?

*

Until one day, after a night of drinking...

Lu Ye woke up in Bai Shiqi's bed.

They were both naked, and Lu Ye's butt hurt like hell.

Lu Ye grimaced and yanked Bai Shiqi upright. "What the hell did you do to me?"

Bai Shiqi looked at the man he'd carried back to his room the night before, after he'd fallen flat on his butt, thrown up all over him, and asked him to help with a bath and a change of clothes. He seemed to understand what Lu Ye had got wrong.

"Relax. I won't make you take responsibility."

Lu Ye stared at him in disbelief. "You're the one who should take responsibility for me!"

Bai Shiqi's eyes lit up. "So I can take responsibility for you?"

Lu Ye roared, "Of course not!"

Wait...

"You like me?"

Bai Shiqi smiled softly. "You only just figured that out?"

Lu Ye's face turned deathly pale, as if he'd eaten ten piles of shit.

Damn it!

*

In their previous lives, Bai Shiqi was a tree in the God of War's temple. Every day, he listened as the man leaned against him to escape the heat, venting about the battle's excitement and the boredom of the truce.

Little by little, Bai Shiqi came to understand the loneliness of the last immortal lord of a fallen celestial clan. All he could do was wrap his branches around him. He couldn't speak.

Then the Heavenly Battle changed, and the God of War began his tribulation. At last, Bai Shiqi gained a consciousness of his own, his flesh growing from his branches.

After countless cycles of reincarnation, he found him again amid the battles in all eight directions.

He resolved to stay by his side and protect him as a human.

There was just one thing bothering him: the other man didn't remember him.

But that was all right. He'd help him remember.

[Tsundere, sharp-tongued, B-king God of War bottom x Gentle, scheming, mere two-branches divine tree top]

♡ The top's identity is revealed

♡ Fake enemies, true bickering soulmates

♡ Strong x strong, both pure, happy ending, sweet romance

♡ To clarify, it's just a joke. The bottom isn't actually small (laughs)

[The full story and blurb have been archived. Anyone who plagiarizes will be held accountable. I'm absolutely not afraid of a lawsuit, thank you!]

Theme: Love will find the person meant for it