After the Eunuch Admiral Offered Himself

Lan Ting transmigrates into a eunuch novel called "The Seal-Bearer as Husband", becoming a minor, doomed beauty in the imperial harem.

The good news: The love and hatred between the hero and heroine have nothing to do with her.

The bad news: Every step in the harem is fraught with danger. One wrong move could cost her head!

Lan Ting wants to cry, but soon finds she can’t.

Can someone explain the square-print subtitles floating in the sky?

And what is that blinking vertical line that looks like a cursor?

Lan Ting tries touching the line, and a gigantic nine-key input panel appears in front of her. The cursor is positioned at the end of an outrageous line of text

[The Eunuch Director of the Directorate of Ceremonial walks over and shoos the servants away. He slowly bends down, grips Lan Ting’s chin, and pours the poison into her mouth|]

Her chin is about to be wrenched off. Lan Ting can barely breathe, her face turning red as she frantically presses a key. She discovers that she can only edit the existing sentence, and can only change one character.

There’s no way to escape a death sentence like this!

At the last possible moment, she reaches out and deletes the character meaning “bend,” replacing it with the one meaning “offer.”

The change takes effect, and the poison clatters to the ground.

Still shaken, Lan Ting looks up and sees the Director, who had just been menacing her, with red-rimmed eyes and clenched teeth, slowly taking off his robes, one layer at a time.

His nose is red, his eyes are teary, and he looks as if he’s been terribly wronged.

Wait!

Lan Ting swallows with difficulty and suddenly realizes there’s one crucial question

He’s a eunuch with nothing down there. How is he planning to “offer” himself?

[Reader’s Guide]

1. A real eunuch, with no possibility of regrowth [Please Note]

2. For romance devotees, this is still a 1v1, both leads are pure, and it has a happy ending.

3. Fictional setting. Please don’t scrutinize the historical details.

4. The naturally wicked Director of the Directorate of Ceremonial × timid, hard-to-kill newcomer beauty Lan Ting, with a cursor at her disposal (hard to kill in the literal sense)

Coming soon: "He’s a Snake. How Would He Know This Stuff?" Please add it to your favorites!

Blurb:

Xia Jixiang is a well-known good-for-nothing on Mount Biyun.

Her spiritual root is rare, but her constitution is unusual. She has been stuck at the Qi Refining stage and can’t advance any further. The Joyful Union Sect has tried to recruit her again and again, but Xia Jixiang is not only useless at cultivation, she’s also an utterly stubborn stone who can’t be swayed by anything.

“I cultivate the Heartless Path!” the stone declares shamelessly.

Then one day, Jixiang finds a pretty little white snake and, out of kindness and a love of good looks, feeds her blood to the snake, which is on the brink of death.

In the end, she saves the snake and happens to form a spirit pact with it, too.

It’s perfectly normal for cultivators to raise spirit pets.

And besides, the little white snake coils around her wrist and sword. Its entire body is pure white, making it a real pleasure to look at.

It just never sits still. It winds around her waist when she meditates and coils around her wrist when she walks. It loves to slip through gaps in her clothes, its cool, smooth body brushing her skin without meaning to, its tongue occasionally flicking against the side of her neck.

She assumes the little animal is cold, so she scratches its head and lets it be.

Before long, Xia Jixiang is advancing by leaps and bounds, breaking through Qi Refining, Foundation Establishment, Golden Core...

Everyone cries out in shock: “Didn’t you say you cultivated the Heartless Path? Why have you been secretly dual cultivating?”

Jixiang: “Don’t talk nonsense. We cultivators of the Heartless Path are upright and righteous. If your conscience is clear, you have nothing to fear.”

Then everyone sees a silver-white snake’s head poke out of her collar, its scales gleaming softly as it lazily rests against her collarbone.

Taking in the indescribably sweet, cloying scent, her fellow disciples draw in a sharp breath. “What an obscene demon! You look like such a well-behaved girl, but you’ve been getting up to some pretty wild stuff behind our backs.”

Jixiang is utterly baffled.

Her little Bai is a sweet, innocent male snake. He usually eats only jade dew and berries, and won’t even touch raw meat.

And as for dual cultivation...

How would a snake know anything about that?

[Reader’s Guide]

1. The male lead’s true form is a dragon. The heroine mistakes him for a snake because she has never seen a dragon.

2. Lighthearted, sweet 1v1 romance. Both leads are pure, with a happy ending.

Theme: There is true feeling and true love in this world.