I Order You All to Kiss

Gu Jianbai is a comic fan who especially loves romance comics full of pink bubbles. One day, while the couples were meeting up, he posts comments like "Where's my royal matchmaking squad?" "Kiss already!" and "I've brought the marriage bureau here!" Then, to his surprise, he is transported straight into the world of comics!

And it's a mashup of several different comics!

He even becomes the emperor.

Gu Jianbai is stunned. So many couples!!

He ships them, and he'll force them together if he has to! He'll ship them to the death!! This is a shipper's paradise!!

He says he'll do it, and he means it! He takes action!

Gu Jianbai transfers the sickly beauty gong to his side and drafts an imperial edict, then moves the eunuch shou to his side to serve him. Every day, he pretends to be blind and oblivious, while secretly using a microscope to zoom in on every crumb of ship fuel, grinning with delight;

He pretends to be a kindhearted person and buys the brothel gong's freedom, then lets him travel all over with the wandering martial artist, throwing in heaps of travel money so they won't fall out over something as vulgar as money. Behind the scenes, he writes a spicy little book called Mutual Love and Affection, then smirks as he quietly takes credit;

He leads his ministers around the imperial garden, pretending not to see the top scholar shou sneaking away to exchange sweet nothings with the prince. In reality, he eavesdrops after everyone else leaves. Heh heh, this is what it means for lovers to end up together! (Hands on hips.)

He sends the newly appointed top scholar shou and the scheming prince gong to inspect various places, ostensibly on official business, but in reality giving them plenty of private time together...

Gu Jianbai: Kiss, kiss, kiss already! How can this great land be without the joy of shipping couples?!

While shipping couples full-time and ruling the realm part-time, Gu Jianbai is no longer satisfied with the couples in his own country. He quietly extends his shipping activities to the neighboring enemy state, where he even recruits a fellow shipper.

One day, the emperor of the neighboring enemy state arrives on a diplomatic visit. Gu Jianbai sees the other man's handsome features and tall, graceful figure and excitedly looks at the comic on the transparent virtual screen before him--

[Your Majesty, your ship has finally arrived!!]

[Ship them! Force them together! Ship them hard! Kiss already!!]

Gu Jianbai's eyes widen. How can you steal my lines?!

Before he can react, the man strides forward with an indulgent smile and leans toward Gu Jianbai's ear. "What's the fun in shipping couples alone? How about we give it a try together?"

The Ming Emperor Zhu Xiu. A breeze stirs the curtains, and through their lingering breaths, it seems you can hear the sound of hearts skipping a beat.

Gu Jianbai: ...

Wait, wait--

"Want to ship couples together? I'm an experienced shipper too~"

[Kiss or not? Where's my royal matchmaking squad?]

[Your Majesty, just give in! We've already brought the marriage bureau here (doge jpg).]

[Exactly. Look at the emperor's face. Isn't he just perfect for you?]

Gu Jianbai falls silent. Only when the so-called couple kisses him on the lips does he finally realize: ??? How did I end up shipping myself with him?!

Theme: Shipping couples is humanity's greatest virtue