[FiveTsuFive] Don't You Die on Me

When Dazai was ten, he met a ghost childhood friend only he could see. Although his friend had a problem with his eyes, he was incredibly strong and even helped clean up after Dazai's attempts to kill himself.

Dazai (counting on his fingers): “Great. Let's be friends.”

Unfortunately, his friend had to return to his own world. Before leaving, he also told Dazai the so-called truth about the world.

([□□] takeover plan, initiated!)

Fortunately, his friend was so powerful that calling across worlds was no trouble at all. It's just that...

Gojo Satoru (locked in a dark room): “I actually came back from the dead!”

Dazai Osamu (staring): “...”

Gojo Satoru: “Help me, Osamu!”

Dazai Osamu: “That jujutsu world reeks of rotten oranges.”

Gojo Satoru (Dazai Osamu edition): “Let's see about cleaning house.”

After taking care of Mimic and occupying [□□], Dazai Osamu thought he'd done pretty well. Who could have guessed that his ghost childhood friend was even better at making trouble, leaving Dazai to work himself ragged cleaning up after him?

Incident one

Little Satoru: “Surprise!”

Gojo Satoru: “I can't die for love anymore, Osamu!”

Dazai Osamu: “No splitting into multiple bodies! Turn back right now, damn it!”

Incident two

Gojo Satoru: “Help me up. I can still fight!”

Dazai Osamu: “No, wait, don't die first.”

Incident three

Gojo Satoru, shrunken version: “What's this? A script! Let's tear it up~”

Dazai Osamu: “?? I don't think this is a good idea!”

Incident × N

Gojo Satoru: “I'm done being human!”

Dazai Osamu: “Wait, I'm the one who likes killing himself! I'll fight you!”

[Please read before starting]

1. A boss Dazai with a beautiful mind and no time to kill himself × the strongest clan head Gojo, who is ill but great at stirring up trouble.

2. Slow burn × mutual pampering × mutual salvation × massive mutual attraction. An everyday-life story, but it includes, among other things, the protagonist hurting himself and crying.

3. The timeline is based on Bungo Stray Dogs: BEAST, with changes to Jujutsu Kaisen Chapter 261. Contains many alternate interpretations, out-of-character moments, and inconsistencies. Do not expect strict canon compliance.

4. The later story will be extremely unfriendly to most Jujutsu Kaisen fans!

5. Updates whenever inspiration strikes. I'll write whatever comes to mind, so read with caution.

6. More details to come.

Theme: Please don't die!