This Humble Official Really Is a Harbinger of Good Fortune! This Old Minister Can Be One Too! [Northern Song]

Su Heng, an unlucky agronomy student about to graduate, was nearing his thesis defense when the corn and grapes he'd grown were devoured by some brats!

Damn it, even taking every precaution didn't save them?

He went to confront them, stumbled, closed his eyes, opened them, and found himself in the Great Song! He'd even become Su Shi's twin brother?

Su Shi never had a twin brother, did he? Which Great Song have I ended up in?!

The bad news: It was still that impoverished, weak Great Song, always losing battles and giving away territory. It was the Great Song where the setting of frontier poems had moved from the Great Qin's Great Wall all the way to the Great Qin's capital, Shaanxi.

Anyone listening would want to move the border markers outward overnight.

But Su Heng wasn't about to do that. His whole family were literati, and in this life he was sickly too. He could barely manage farming, let alone go to war. The moment he gained awareness at age one and remembered his past life, a doctor had also given him a death sentence.

Do less work and think less, and maybe you'll live to thirty.

Well, good news: I'll die before the Jingkang Catastrophe!

Ding! Welcome to the Animal Forum. Your IP has been detected as Meishan, Meizhou. Your account has been registered as User 01.

There's no time to mourn his thirty-year lifespan or the ever-shrinking borders! Next up is a question for the ages: How can he use this forum to befriend wild animals, like cats, dogs, rabbits, wolves, bears, tigers...

Su Heng quickly settled into life as a pen pal. You could even say he was thriving!

The Bird District, where everyone loves beauty and cross-species romance, changed its tune completely after Su Heng, a human, joined in.

[Look at the birds, look at the birds! Another pretty feather has grown in! Iridescent black, isn't it lovely?]

[I confessed to my owner today, and he accepted my feather! He really loves me! And I love him too!]

[Su Heng: Um... are there any birds that can fly across the sea? Could you bring me some papaya? I'm really craving a bite.]

#Shock: unscrupulous human exploits the bird equivalent of a rideshare service!

Su Heng didn't just trick winged birds into flying for him. He also infiltrated the Cat District and Dog District. He wasn't trying to take advantage of wild animals there, though. He wanted to take advantage of people's pet cats and dogs!

#Anyone in the know, please keep me updated on what's happening at court!

Damn it, why are the Northern Song's factional struggles so terrifying? Policies down the chain aren't just changing overnight, they're practically changing every day!

Because he was in poor health and had always loved farming, his family arranged a farm of his own for him. Though his frail body couldn't work in the fields, it was compensation for being unable to travel long distances or take the imperial exams.

But... despite having a golden finger, Su Heng was still getting thoroughly battered by court policies.

Damn it! Do you people even know how to govern?!

Before Su Heng could figure out an indirect way to save his farm, or learn a little about central government policies from cats, dogs, and birds, he made an unexpected discovery...

Wait!

Something's wrong!

Why do some of the animals posting on the forum have such strange IDs?

[Fan Zhongyan (crow)] [Ouyang Xiu (owl)]...

And Wang Anshi, why does your name have "honey badger" after it?

Honey Badger (honey badger)! Aren't you supposed to be on the grasslands? I haven't seen any lions posting in the Cat District either!

Check out my upcoming story, "You Really Think I'm the Han Dynasty?!"

Synopsis:

After transmigrating into a chaotic age, Liu Jiayao found herself in a world where the good news was that it wasn't any known dynasty.

Great! I'm free!

The bad news was that Liu Jiayao couldn't introduce herself properly. She copied Liu Xuande's introduction: "I am Liu Aotian, courtesy name Jiayao, a descendant of Prince Jing of Zhongshan, son of Emperor Jing of Han. The realm is in chaos, and I intend to pacify the Central Plains and restore the Han."

What a great introduction! Jiayao is a lucky name, and the omen means Heaven's will. Heaven's will is with me, so I'm Aotian. Liu Aotian. How creative!

But these people really started calling her Liu Aotian, and really thought she intended to restore the Han!

Wait, is there even a Han dynasty here?!

These people were all crying and begging to become her advisers, vanguard troops, lackeys...

Hold on, I need to prepare myself mentally. I've never started a rebellion before...

Later generations always said she remained chaste for the emperor and never married. In truth, she married the nation, a brilliant minister in white: Your Majesty, it's cold. Put on this dragon robe.

The Assistant Minister of Revenue, whom later generations called a traitor who served as the emperor's fixer, was actually a wicked consort who served as the emperor's fixer: Your Majesty, I don't care about my good name. I only ask to remain by your side.

And later generations...

Liu Jiayao: Ha! I've got both male and female rumored partners. You really think I'm the Han Dynasty!

Theme: Strive to make a difference.