A Fated Match, Arranged by the Underworld

[This story was originally listed as no-couple. After the multi-genre section opened, I took another long look at it and decided to move it here. The multi-genre section is just so quiet, though, so if this is your kind of story, please add it to your library and show your support!]

Six feet under, everyone is equal. Repay kindness with kindness, and settle scores with those who've wronged you.

No matter how supreme an emperor you were in life, once dead, you are nothing more than a ghost. All your fame and achievements turn to dust.

Li Si says, "Well said. So I can strangle Hu Hai now, right?"

Han Xin says, "General Bai, wait for me. I'll settle an old score with Liu the Third, then come have a drink with you."

Liu Che takes his father by the left hand and his mother by the right, laughs and jokes with the whole Liu family, then asks, "So now that everyone's a ghost in the underworld, can I cultivate to become an immortal?"

The First Emperor strolls past and gives him a thumbs-up.

Liu Bang can't follow their train of thought. He clicks his tongue and asks, "Didn't you cultivate to become immortals while you were alive for the sake of immortality? Now the underworld won't let you reincarnate, so what's the difference? Better to compete for a government job in the underworld than for immortality."

Before he can finish, Xiang Yu's urgent pursuit begins. Chen Sheng, watching from the sidelines, gives a cold laugh as Liu Bang turns and runs. "Are kings and generals born to their stations? He didn't come to the underworld just to keep working for someone else!"

Liu Xiu disagrees. Liu Zhuang thinks he has a point. Liu Zhao puts an arm around Deng Sui and says, "Why compete? Isn't it nice to be conscious and present? I was exhausted when I was alive. I'm taking a break now."

Cao Pi and Sun Quan meet face to face, overwhelmed with emotion. They look at each other, then Emperor Wen of Wei asks, "Did you give me those sour oranges on purpose?" Emperor Wu of Wu replies, "And did you ask me for all those crates of pearls just so you could show off to everyone else?"

Cao Cao watches Liu Bei, Sun Jian, and Sun Ce itching to get involved. "We can settle our scores later. First, let's join forces to hunt down the Sima family."

Cao Cao says to go after Sima Yi first. Cao Pi insists they should find Sima Zhao first. Cao Rui angrily slaps the table. "Don't let Sima Shi get away!"

Liu Shan and Cao Huan exchange glances, then turn to Sima Yan. "Since you treated us decently, maybe you should run first."

Sun Hao rolls his eyes at the two spineless rulers and starts shouting loudly, "The founder of the Western Jin is right here! He's the one we should be going after!"

Sima Yan hikes up his sleeves and runs, colliding along the way with a whole string of figures from the Sixteen Kingdoms and the Northern and Southern Dynasties.

Sima Shao sighs at him. "Granduncle, run! I'll hold them off as best I can." Liu Yu mocks him for running away and says, "Your Sima family had this coming." Tuoba Hong looks down at him. "Serves you right. You made a mess of Luoyang..."

"Nonsense!" Sima Yan remembers to yell back at Tuoba Hong every time. "Wasn't it you Five Barbarians who wrecked Luoyang? Why pin the whole blame on me?"

Gao Yang is always there. Hearing this, he nods along. "Exactly. Without Emperor Wu's great generosity, not one of the Northern Dynasties would have gotten anywhere." His idol is so enraged that he exiles him, leaving him to be laughed at by Yuwen Yong.

Yang Jian sighs as he watches. "Every single one of my heirs has something wrong with his head. Fate really does play tricks on us." Li Yuan agrees from the side. "Having such capable sons is a headache. Look who turned me into a retired emperor."

Emperor Taizong of Tang sees Li Jiu holding Wu Zhao's hand, then glances at the disappointing Li Sanlang. He rubs his forehead and retorts to his father, "What can I say? I'm busy worrying about founding emperors."

He's in a hurry to run off, too. Look at the Jin-Tang cultural exchange he set up: he's hoping to lure the Sage of Calligraphy out with the Poetry Immortal and Poetry Sage.

That's more or less how life in the underworld goes.

[Reading Notes]

The blurb only mentions up to the Tang dynasty, but the story's timeline won't stop there. There'll also be some Spring and Autumn and Warring States material, and later Song, Yuan, Ming, and Qing figures. I stopped the blurb here because it was getting too long. There should be characters from every dynasty, but I can't guarantee how much space each will get. It depends on what historical material I've been reading.

A cozy underworld slice-of-life strung together with various short stories. It should be a feel-good story where everyone gets a happy ending. Most of the main story takes place after everyone has repaid kindness and settled their scores, as a sort of epilogue. It's probably an all-of-history ensemble, and there will be fighting and revenge, but those won't be the main focus.

[Readers with very high moral standards, please proceed with caution.] [No Han chauvinists.] [If you intensely dislike a particular dynasty, please don't read.] [If you're still going to come here and start a fight in the comments after all these warnings, please don't read.] [Please find your own corner and enjoy what you like.] [If you come here, I'll tear you to shreds.]

There are plenty of relationships involving people from different eras or the same era, tangled love-hate relationships full of melodrama, and relationships with the muddled moral standards characteristic of feudal times.

[Characters' values do not represent the author's. If you insist on taking it out on me, I'll hit back.]

If this is your cup of tea, please add it to your library! The multi-genre section is so quiet, and I need enough saved readers before I dare start posting! TT

Theme: Repay kindness with kindness and settle scores with those who've wronged you. Six feet under, everyone is equal.