I Really Want to Be Nightwing's Dog [Western Crossover]

After returning home, Allen went straight to his childhood friend’s place to celebrate passing the Haven police exam. On their guys’ night out, they drank, joked around, and sang at the top of their lungs. Drunk, Allen yelled, “Nightwing saved me tonight!” Dick, tipsy and smug, said, “Thank you, Nightwing!” Allen stood on the table, raised his glass, and shouted, “Thank you, Nightwing’s pecs!!” AKA Nightwing, Dick: ??? (mostly sobered up) Allen: “I solemnly swear, I’m not into his pecs, and I’m definitely not into his firm ass, slim waist, or dimples. I’m into his stunning soul, which shines through his body, and the heroic heart that’s always ready to help people and fight for justice!!” Dick: “Say it in plain English.” Allen: “I want to bang him. I’m a shameless pervert.” Dick: “…” Allen: “I’m going to hook up with him this month!” (fist pump) Dick: “…” * Reader’s guide: Pairing: Dick x Allen, Nightwing x Firebird. They start hiding their secret identities. After learning each other’s identities, they pretend not to know and try to out-act each other, teaming up to mess with everyone. With their masks on, they’re one couple; with their masks off, they’re another. They keep switching back and forth, making each other look unfaithful. They could form six different pairings. A cheerful, melodramatic little rom-com. [Everyday romance that drives everyone else up the wall] After half an hour of nonstop complaining The big bad Red Hood said, exasperated, “So you know that Allen you keep saying is a player who flirts with everyone and cheats on two people at once? Both people are you, right?” Dick panicked. “No, no, little Jaybird! Dick is Dick, and Nightwing is Nightwing! He can’t have it both ways… Allen is Dick’s boyfriend!!” Jason flipped him off. “I’m a pain in the ass, but I have to ask: didn’t Nightwing just kiss Dick’s boyfriend?” Dick looked innocent. “Oh, he’s not Allen… That’s Firebird, Nightwing’s boyfriend.” Jason’s face went blank. “…Please go die.” And then Allen grabbed Jason, furious and frantic. “Jay, I found Nightwing’s uniform in Dick’s closet! They’re having an affair!!” Jason replied coolly, “You know Dick is Nightwing, right?” Allen continued to freak out. “My boyfriend cheated on me! That’s all I know!” Jason replied coolly, “Dick is Nightwing, Allen is Firebird, and you’re a couple. Leave me out of this.” Allen choked out loudly, “Oh my God!! I never thought he’d do this to me. He cheated on me!! I’m going to break all three of his legs!! Can you come help me?” Jason: ? Jason: “I’m on my way!” Theme: The world is one giant amateur production.