Sir, You Dropped a Tentacle

Upcoming column: The Evil God’s Follower Is on the Run [Gentle and Refined, Angelic Face, Cunning Evil God, Top] VS [Flirtatious Without Knowing It, Ruthless, Aloof and Cool Bottom]. Blurb at the very end. Please add it to your collection, sweeties!

Blurb:

Bai Mu makes a living selling monster corpses. He is a hunter feared by monsters everywhere.

After retiring, he opened a coffee shop. Life was leisurely, but business was only so-so.

One day, a sinister-looking customer came to the shop. The tentacles on his body were soft and supple, and kept falling off as he walked. They stuck to Bai Mu and wouldn't let go.

Bai Mu: Sir, your tentacle fell off.

The monster smiled, a sinister gleam in his eyes. Are my tentacles scary?

Bai Mu: They're cute. Give them to me.

The monster: Human, you've got some nerve.

Bai Mu suddenly pulled out a huge blade used for hunting monsters.

The monster: ...How many do you want?

Wu Yuan would never forget that hunter's scent.

His lair had turned into a sea of fire, and a hunting knife had pierced his heart.

He had barely survived.

To get revenge, he searched the whole world, until at last he picked up a scent that might belong to the hunter.

The owner of a coffee shop, Bai Mu:

A beautiful, clean mammal.

Gentle in manner and friendly to everyone, he was nothing like the hunter who had once gone on a killing spree.

So Wu Yuan hunted for the man at night and tested him at the coffee shop by day, but each time, one of his tentacles was stolen.

Wu Yuan: This is the last time.

Bai Mu: If you like it, can I have a few more?

Before Wu Yuan could answer, all the tentacles on his body rebelled as one, crawling up Bai Mu's legs to give him a massage.

Bai Mu, blushing: Thank you.

Wu Yuan: ?

Wu Yuan realized he couldn't refuse Bai Mu.

His instincts made him crave Bai Mu's body. Even after uncovering the truth, all he wanted was to deceive himself.

Until one day, what emerged from his body was no longer a little tentacle, but a giant one, thick as a python and covered in suckers.

"I've changed my mind." He advanced on Bai Mu, smoldering fury repressed in his eyes.

"Pay me back with your body."

Notes:

1. [A cheeky, flirtatious kitten bottom X a gloomy, tsundere top] Mostly sweet.

2. The top is an octopus-like evil god.

3. The setting is entirely fictional, so please don't overanalyze it.

----Promoting my upcoming column, The Evil God’s Follower Is on the Run. Please add it to your collection, sweeties! Blurb below:

[Gentle and Refined, Angelic Face, Cunning Evil God, Top] VS [Flirtatious Without Knowing It, Ruthless, Aloof and Cool Bottom]

Luo Xingmiao was a cool, aloof guy.

As a volunteer player, he took part in a game called Mysterious Escape. Its villain NPC was an evil god who looked like an angel, possessed irresistible charm, and had countless fans.

In the game, the players had their memories erased and took on new roles: undercover followers who suspected one another. Once they discovered that their god was an evil god, they were supposed to flee.

They fought among themselves and made fools of themselves, giving the fans a spectacular show.

Except for Luo Xingmiao.

In the first round, instead of joining the undercover followers' infighting, he became the evil god's confidant through sheer loyalty.

Then he successfully escaped.

Audience: What a performance!

In the second round, he used a painless poison and became the first person to kill a god.

Audience: You bastard Luo, how dare you kill my wife!

In the third round, he played the role of a slacker, staying out of everything. The traitors' identities were exposed, and the god flew into a rage. Just as the audience thought Luo Xingmiao was about to pull off a huge reversal, he took his own life in front of the god and voluntarily left the game.

Audience: Holy crap!

*

Luo Xingmiao felt as though he were trapped in a time loop.

He tried to find a way to end it, until the System sent him a prompt.

---Make the god fall in love with you.

He had to leave behind his identity as a follower and become the evil god's "lover."

Luo Xingmiao, with a cold expression: Flirting? I don't know how.

System: No, you're extremely good at it.

Luo Xingmiao: ?

Luo Xingmiao didn't think he could succeed.

His god was beyond reach. Countless people had offered themselves to him, only to meet terrible ends.

But when Luo Xingmiao put himself to the test and kissed the god's fingertips,

The god gently restrained him---

Then removed his clothes.

Luo Xingmiao: ...My god, please think this through.

His god still wore a pure, innocent smile.

"I've been waiting for you a long time, traitor."

[Gentle and Refined, Angelic Face, Cunning Evil God, Top] VS [Flirtatious Without Knowing It, Ruthless, Aloof and Cool Bottom]

*----Another upcoming story: My Homegrown Mushroom Top Started Producing Spores. Before their divorce, a professor discovers that his partner is a mushroom, and that it's carrying his baby. Please add it to your collection, sweeties!

Theme: Cherish genuine affection and love life.