The Inner World of a Beta

My first novel, and a work of shameful infamy. I’ve locked it and closed the comment section out of embarrassment.

It was pure self-indulgence. When I wrote it, I had no outline and didn’t think about anything. I finished the whole thing on a wave of enthusiasm.

People’s tastes change over time. Looking back at this book now, there’s quite a lot in it that I no longer like.

But when I was talking about it with a friend, I realized I still remembered the scar the shou gave himself when he hurt himself, the raised mark left on his wrist. That scar only appeared once in the story, yet I still remember how he made it and which part of the plot it appeared in. My memory is better than I thought, and Xiao Lu means more to me than I realized.

I was going to lock the novel and give it a major rewrite, but now I don’t think there’s any need. Everyone has to learn by trial and error. I won’t unlock it, because the embarrassment is real too 😶

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