The Palace Eunuch Is Gossiping Online

[A snarky, nonstop-talking eunuch who grovels, versus a seemingly pitiful but secretly scheming emperor]

Chen Jiao transmigrated into the body of a eunuch.

In his previous life, he worked diligently like a corporate drone, serving his boss.

In this life, he works hard like a beast of burden, serving the emperor.

Chen Jiao has a plot System. While protecting his head, he watches the story unfold and completes his daily tasks, unaware that both the emperor and the empress dowager can hear his thoughts.

Chen Jiao: [Minister Li of the Ministry of Personnel takes bribes. Who knows how much he's lined his pockets with?]

Before long, Minister Li's home was confiscated and he was dismissed from office. Several chests of gold, silver, and jewels found in his house were all transferred to the imperial treasury.

Chen Jiao: [Minister Zhang of the Ministry of Revenue is more cuckolded than the emperor. Neither his son nor his grandson is his. They're both Steward Wang's.]

Within days, Minister Zhang's son and grandson disowned him and left with nothing. Minister Zhang caught a chill in the middle of summer and took to his bed, never to recover.

Chen Jiao: [Minister Su of the Censorate likes wearing his wife's belly bands. He won't wear one unless his own wife has worn it first.]

Minister Su never talked back to the emperor at court again. Whatever the emperor said, went.

Chen Jiao: [General Xu's father was shot dead by Prince Ning, and Prince Ning crippled his younger brother. He thinks Prince Ning saved his brother's life, so he's grateful and willing to give everything for him. He's even raising an army for Prince Ning for free. Tsk, tsk...]

Later, Prince Ning rebelled and joined forces with the rebels inside the city. At the critical moment, the city's soldiers switched sides.

Prince Ning: You played me?

The officials of the entire court: Who said His Majesty was incompetent and inferior to the late emperor? I mean, we believe His Majesty clearly has the talent to rule the world.

Consort Duan fell into the water and miscarried.

"Your Majesty, please see justice done! I don't know what I did to offend Sister Consort Shu. Please stand up for our child!"

Chen Jiao: [Stand up for what? It's not even the emperor's child.]

The emperor: ?

Chen Jiao: [The child is from your affair with Prince Ning. You were afraid the dates wouldn't add up and you'd be found out, so you framed Consort Shu.]

The emperor: ...

Consort Shu, wrongfully accused:

Chen Jiao: [Well, not entirely wrongfully. She isn't into men at all. Her true love is Lady Wang. They sleep under the same quilt every night.]

The emperor: ...

Consort Duan and her family were exiled, while Consort Shu and Lady Wang were banished to the Cold Palace. The already sparsely populated harem was now empty, and the emperor devoted himself to governing even more diligently.

The officials of the entire court: Who said His Majesty's lust would ruin the country? That's clearly the nonsense of an ignorant child!

Chen Jiao was baffled, too.

Why was the story unfolding differently from the novel?

Romance blurb:

Chen Jiao's twenty-eight-year-old soul transmigrated into the body of a sixteen-year-old. Familiar with the plot, he felt great affection for the young emperor.

The emperor had ascended the throne at a young age, with wolves in front of him and tigers behind, not to mention an unreliable mother.

Chen Jiao thought bluntly, "Poor kid."

The plot said the little emperor wouldn't live much longer anyway, so Chen Jiao decided to be a little nicer to him!

When the young emperor was tormented by old ministers and wept in sorrow, Chen Jiao's heart melted. He tried everything he could to cheer him up.

Want a back rub? Sure!

Want a massage? Sure!

When the young emperor was bullied by a prince and overcome with grief and indignation, Chen Jiao grew frantic.

Want to go out and clear your head? Sure!

Want to sleep in the same bed? Sure!

When the harem caught fire, the young emperor was utterly disheartened. Drunk and drowning his sorrows, he cried that no one loved him. Chen Jiao was even more upset than the emperor.

Want to drink together? Sure!

Take off my clothes? Su... Wait, that one's not allowed!!!

Chen Jiao stared blankly as the emperor, who was a whole head taller than him, pinned him to the imperial bed, leaving him nowhere to run.

A night of wild passion.

Xiao Ye played with Chen Jiao's hair and asked, "Am I still a child?"

Chen Jiao covered his face and shut himself away, mourning the virtue that had vanished into the wind.

Afterward, Chen Jiao couldn't figure it out: Why did the emperor know what I was thinking?

[Could it be the emperor really is a genius?]

Xiao Ye, with a straight face: Yes. I am a genius.

Content warnings:

1. Scheming younger emperor top x timid, gossip-loving eunuch bottom. Mind-reading, happy ending, one-on-one, younger top.

2. Lots of internal monologue, and the bottom talks nonstop. The top and bottom are one year apart in actual age, ten years apart in mental age.

3. The story includes both the court and the harem. The author is terrible at political intrigue, so there won't be much of it.

4. A mashup of historical dynasties, not serious political intrigue. Those who care about historical accuracy, please don't read. Thank you so much!

5. Extreme fans of gksk, please don't read. Thanks.

Updates daily once the story starts, between nine and twelve each evening.

Theme: No matter what adversity you face, always keep a sincere heart.