Ranpo Always Gets Bullied Until He Cries

Also known as: Failed Green-Eyed Cat Simulator

[The following blurb is a scam]

☆

"From the Beta's Perspective"

Ever since birth, Edogawa Ranpo has been acutely aware of the strangeness and uncertainty permeating the world.

It feels as if someone is controlling him, making him try and adapt to everything he dislikes.

He can't fight back. He can't call for help.

Even his "parents" fail to notice this kind of "abnormality."

So, amid years of accumulated fear and unease, he painstakingly searches for the truth.

Until one day, he finally glimpses the invisible threads, all connected to a single flower.

"Hello, Ranpo."

The little flower gives him a sweet smile and speaks with innocent cheer.

"Come play with me."

★

"From the Alpha's Perspective"

* Dear player, welcome to Human Simulator: Collector's Edition... (Nearly two thousand words of introductory text, rules, and advertisements for the author's other games omitted.)

* Please select your starting human character... (A bunch of character introductions omitted.)

* Are you sure you want to choose a random blind-box character?

* ...Character selected and generated at random.

* "Edogawa Ranpo" has entered the game.

* Random birthplace selected: Meteor City.

* Character has died. Reload save? Do you want to try again?

* Random birthplace selected: Gotham.

* Random birthplace selected: The Zenin Household.

* Random birthplace selected: The Edogawa Household.

* Congratulations! You have collected all the career-path endings for this character and achieved the epic "Perfect in Every Way" accomplishment.

* Conditions have been met to unlock the bonus story. Would you like to enter...

* You have selected your birthplace: Beika Town.

[Actual Blurb]

The player randomly picks a cat from a group of cats.

The player tries to raise the cat.

The player mishandles it and gets scratched.

After returning from the psychiatric hospital, the player decides to get revenge on the cat.

The player doesn't understand why the cat keeps trying to talk to them.

The player doesn't know why the cat keeps calling them an idiot.

The player thinks they aren't an idiot.

The player believes game AI isn't alive.

The player hates the cat.

The cat hates the player.

The player doesn't want to raise a cat anymore.

But now the cat wants to raise the player.

--A Cozy Little Story About Raising a Cat

P.S.

1. The story is written entirely in third person. It's an absurd comedy with heavy OOC characterization (?). The blurb is misleading: this isn't a purely indulgent Ranpo-and-cat story. It includes nonhuman characters, some BL content, and a small amount of potentially upsetting material. Read with caution if that's not your thing!!!!!!!

2. The player is from an alternate interstellar world where humanity has gone extinct. Their true form is a brutal alien species, so they don't have much humanity. Later, they discover that Ranpo is alive and develop a bit of a twisted Ranpo-fanboy tendency (?).

3. Ranpo initially develops in all sorts of directions due to the influence of the player and the game system (?), so his later career path may not be detective work. For those looking to avoid certain elements: it doesn't follow the original story, and is sort of a fourth-calamity story.

Theme: People should be more sincere and kind to one another