Whoever Wins Gets Me

1. At the end of the year, just as he was getting ready to enjoy winter break, teacher Zhou Xi unexpectedly transmigrated into a cultivation novel from Huashi about a universally adored heartthrob, becoming the shizun who was the love interest of every man.

Besides four disciples who harbored unspeakable thoughts about him, every sect leader, the Human Emperor, the Demon Venerable, the Demon Emperor, strange beasts... even random passersby wanted to do those unspeakable things to him.

Zhou Xi: ...

2. Zhou Xi casually counted them up. Good grief, there were more than ten.

Looking at this crowd of ill-intentioned people, Zhou Xi, who wanted nothing more than to enjoy his vacation and lie flat, said:

"Ahem, how about we skip all the formalities and have a fight?"

"Whoever wins gets me."

In an instant, heaven and earth changed color, the heroes vied for supremacy, and the three realms plunged into endless war.

In the midst of it all, Zhou Xi also had to fend off all kinds of immortal friends who came to scheme against him and tempt him:

"If you're under nine chi tall, no. If you're ugly, no. If you're... not big enough, no..."

3. In the end, everyone fought to the death. Zhou Xi looked at the three remaining candidates and rejected them all, then turned around and chose the seemingly most ordinary and harmless spirit attendant at his side.

A handsome face, no powerful connections, no tragic secret past, and no divine or demonic ancestry. Most importantly, he'd been raised by Zhou Xi since childhood, so Zhou Xi knew him inside and out.

Satisfied, Zhou Xi decided to take his little spirit attendant somewhere beautiful and far away, where nobody could find them, and happily lie flat.

But then he watched as the spirit attendant pulled out a sparkling portable pocket dimension...

"Master, is this what you mean?"

4.

The palaces in the pocket dimension were magnificent, gilded and intricately carved, but the sign above the gate bore three large characters: Hehuan Palace.

The bathhouse was filled with warm springs and delicious food, but its entrance bore a gold-plated sign that boldly read: Bixi Club.

The spaceship had spotless windows and a vast starry sky outside, but inside was a rule posted on the wall: No suppressants.

Zhou Xi: ...Oh, dear.

Later, Zhou Xi reasoned with the little spirit attendant, appealed to his emotions, and set him straight, then built a house like the one he had back in his old life.

Only then did Zhou Xi finally get to lie flat as he'd hoped...

But in the end, Zhou Xi was somehow coaxed into bed by the little spirit attendant. He still couldn't help grabbing the attendant by the collar and saying:

"I don't mind lying here, but could you at least get me on Wi-Fi first?"

*Cover image by artist K from Crazy Laughter in the Afterlife. Thank you~!

[Reader Notes]

1. An ordinary teacher who wants to lie flat x a little spirit attendant with a pocket dimension. The protagonist is many years older than the love interest. Sweet romance, with mutual affection.

2. Acting obedient is the little spirit attendant's best dowry, but he's also incredibly strong.

3. There may occasionally be nonsense. No need to tell me if you drop the story. I hope everyone has fun, because our little spirit attendant is great at playing weak while hiding his true strength!

4. Big Eyes user @oAishang o, you know what I mean. Winks. Come hang out.gif

Theme: Take the initiative, face life positively, and find the path that suits you best.