He Who Has Me Can Rule the World

[Complete] Also known as: Win the World, Win Your Wife; The Lazy Sword Venerable Works Himself to the Bone for Me Lan Cuiyu is the number one workaholic in the immortal cultivation world. With a single sword, he can suppress the Nine Heavens, and he has mastered every path under heaven. Then, when his ascension fails, thirty thousand years of cultivation go up in smoke. The greatest figure in the immortal path becomes... a sword. Even as a sword, he’s going to become the strongest sword in history! A sword is a weapon of slaughter. It must be nourished with blood, and the path is paved with killing... He needs a swordsman who can cut a path through the Heavenly Dao. But fate pairs him with Fu Handeng, a useless lazybones instead. When Lan Cuiyu tries to talk about cultivation, Fu Handeng asks whether he wants bloodflame fruit stew or golden marrow grass porridge today. When Lan Cuiyu carefully analyzes the dangers of a secret realm, Fu Handeng says the spiritual milk spring inside is great for the skin, and he should bring some back so Lan Cuiyu can soak in it and smell nice. When Lan Cuiyu says they must split mountains, shatter seas, and cleave rivers of stars, Fu Handeng smiles and points out the window. “Darling, look how beautiful the moon is tonight. Don’t you think you owe me a kiss?” Lan Cuiyu: “...Are you sick?” - Fu Handeng picks up a little sword spirit who dares to defy the heavens. It claims to have reached the Boundless Heavenly Sage Realm, calls Nascent Soul monsters children, treats Void Ascension ancestors as juniors, and says every sword cultivator in the world is its disciple or grand-disciple. To keep the little sword spirit from being struck dead by heavenly lightning, hacked to death by sword cultivators, or thrown into a Samadhi Fire Furnace and burned for desecrating the Dao... Fu Handeng has no choice but to find every way he can to stuff its mouth with delicious food. He feeds the old ancestor until all it talks about is what to eat today and drink tomorrow. But even that can’t stop the Heavenly Rankings from reappearing, with an astonishing sword spirit suspended above them... Everything the little sword spirit said turns out to be true. In an instant, the winds shift and the world is thrown into chaos. The myriad paths surge, the immortal sects erupt, and the entire cultivation world comes after his sword with bloodshot eyes. The Immortal Realm says he’s unworthy, the Demon Realm tells him to get lost, and his fellow disciples urge him to let go. Honest and Dependable, Lazy Handeng: ... ...I’ll kill every last one of you!!! - That day, many of the cultivation world’s grievously wounded saw the lazy rogue cultivator, covered in blood and saying nothing, stumble away from their sight with the “Heavenly Supreme Sword” in his arms... Later, someone said, “I offer ten cities and ten sects for the chance to meet Lan Cuiyu.” Fu Handeng smiled as he stroked the sword. “Ten cities and ten sects. That’s enough to make sure you all die in one neat pile.” Later still, a hundred sects laid siege to them and a thousand factions demanded battle. Carrying the entire cultivation world’s death warrant, Fu Handeng spent a hundred years on the run. He cut his way through the Immortal Realm and slaughtered the Six Paths. Before long, even mortal children knew... Don’t touch his sword. You’ll die. A lazy sword cultivator who works himself to the bone for love x the supremely powerful, utterly unreasonable number one workaholic * A lighthearted, everyday romance, not an epic cultivation saga. * A story where the beloved bottom is invincibly strong. Lots of original worldbuilding, trying something new~ Next book: My Best Friend Got Rich and Now Insists We Get Married [Unhinged Top x Baffled Bottom, the top is a little crazy] - As kids, Tao Xueli and Gu Fengli were the best of friends in the old town, close enough to take turns licking the same popsicle. After they’d licked the stick clean and tossed it aside, they started dreaming: “Whoever gets rich first will buy the other a Ferrari.” “Then we’ll get a big house.” “And support each other for life.” Later, Gu Fengli disappeared, and Tao Xueli spent twelve years looking for him with nothing but a photograph. When they met again, Gu Fengli had become the heir to a top-tier wealthy family, mingling effortlessly with the crowd at a banquet. The people around him called him Young Master Gu, and his business card said Gu Lin. Only then did Tao Xueli realize that the little brat from the old alley, who used to lick popsicles with him and brag that they’d get rich together, had even lied about his name. At least he was alive, and that was enough to put Tao Xueli at ease. On the day Tao Xueli was leaving B City, the latest-model Ferrari suddenly pulled up in front of him. The window rolled down. The heir, now using his real name again, looked at him and said calmly: “Get in.” “I’m here to keep the promise I made back then.” Tao Xueli thought he just wanted to make a grand gesture. But Gu Lin really gave him the Ferrari, really bought him a mansion, and really handed him a gold card. He even solemnly brought out a stack of documents and told him: “This still isn’t enough for you.” “I think you should have half my family fortune, too.” Tao Xueli: “???” Gu Lin looked perfectly calm, as if he were discussing the most ordinary thing in the world. “But you’re not my biological brother, so giving you money outright wouldn’t be proper.” Tao Xueli nodded vigorously. “So...” Gu Lin looked into his eyes and smiled faintly. “Let’s get married.” “That way, I can transfer everything I own to you, and it’ll all be perfectly proper.” - Tao Xueli thought this marriage would just be a formality. After all, the heir had made it perfectly clear: they were getting married to make dividing up the money easier. But on their first night as a married couple, Tao Xueli looked at the master bedroom, which had only one bed, and finally sensed something was off. He hesitated. “Wasn’t this supposed to be a marriage of convenience?” Gu Fengli, no, the true heir of the Gu family, leisurely unfastened his cufflinks and looked up at him. “It is.” “But the agreement doesn’t say we have to sleep in separate rooms.” Tao Xueli: “...?” Th-then how are we supposed to sleep? 26.4.3 Theme: The Great Dao is not only found above the Nine Heavens, but also in the everyday warmth of human life.