[Three Kingdoms] My Golden Finger Is Watching Ads

[Full text proofread + minor revisions + newly added extras]

Xie Qiao transmigrates into the chaotic final years of the Han Dynasty and gets bound to a Lord System.

Her goal: unite the thirteen provinces and bring the chaos to an end.

Laid-back Xie Qiao: Do you think I'm stupid? The Three Kingdoms are such a mess. One careless moment and my head could roll, so obviously I'm going to keep my head down!

System: What if I told you the mission reward is five apartments in Shanghai? How would you respond?

Xie Qiao: ?

Now that's what I call motivation!

But just as Xie Qiao was getting fired up, the first bandit she encountered chopped her dead with a single slash.

...Well, that's just great.

Before her mind went dark, a line of text floated before her eyes:

[Watch an ad to revive on the spot]

Of course she's watching!

[After overwork, you feel listless and drained, afraid you'll never again be able to give her a steady, happy life... Shenbao tablets: when he's doing well, so am I.]

Xie Qiao: ...

-

Later, Xie Qiao discovers that whenever her career hits a rough patch, an ad pops up before her eyes.

[...After a month of inner struggle, I made a decision that goes against my ancestors.]

[Mongolian medicine for the heart and brain, specially formulated to treat intellectual disabilities.]

The ads are long, awful, and fake, starting at an hour apiece. They can't be skipped, changed, or avoided.

But the rewards for watching them are simply too good.

Watch! Watch like crazy!

-

The System, which logged off after getting Xie Qiao through her beginner stage, returns midway to check on her progress and is stunned.

Cities: three counties. [This is all the territory you've got? What are you even doing?]

Advisors: three. [Your intelligence stat is so low, do you have nothing but terrible ideas in that head?]

Generals: two. [Forget it. The chaotic times really aren't suited to you.]

Then it switches its view to inside the city and is absolutely floored.

High walls and deep moats surround streets that crisscross the city, bustling with merchants.

Inside the military camps are mountains of provisions and supplies, and countless warhorses.

The army stands in formation, its ranks orderly and its fighting spirit high.

Xie Qiao sits astride a fine steed, reins in hand, and calls out, "My Xiliang army, forward! We march into the Central Plains!"

[...How did you manage this?]

Xie Qiao: I just watch ads. You have no idea how many times I've watched myself sick on them over the years.

[What ads?]

Xie Qiao: Those little ads that pop up all the time.

[What the hell??? I've been infected by a virus!]

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(See the author's note in Chapter 1 for content warnings.)

Theme: After weathering the storm, a rainbow will appear