The Villainous CEO Keeps Stealing My Gossip

Updates steadily at 7,000 words a day. If there's no update, I'll post a notice~ Next up: My Husband Might Have Some Kind of Serious Problem [Shou who loves watching the chaos and having a laugh x seemingly cold CEO gong who actually loves gossip] Overworked office drone An Xia died suddenly after pulling an all-nighter. When he opened his eyes again, he had transmigrated into a melodramatic, angsty ABO Mary Sue novel, as a junior assistant to Fu Qingchen, the story's biggest villain, a domineering CEO. The villainous CEO was young, successful, rich, and handsome. But when his love for the protagonist shou went unrequited, he took things too far and was eventually sent to prison by the protagonist gong. An Xia couldn't help sighing. How had he ended up working for this hopeless romantic? :) Everyone knew being a CEO's assistant was no easy job, and an assistant in a Mary Sue novel had it even worse. He'd already been a miserable office drone in his previous life. He never thought he'd still be one after transmigrating! An Xia smiled on the outside, while cursing inwardly: [Surely no one would ask me to dig up someone's entire family history in three minutes, right? Right? People who make unreasonable demands won't find any toilet paper when they go to the bathroom later. Heh.] Fu Qingchen had just been about to ask An Xia to investigate every detail of the protagonist shou's background when he paused. The words went around and around in his mouth before he finally said: "...Assistant An, could you make me a cup of coffee?" An Xia, who'd been sitting until his back was sore, immediately replied, "You got it!" * People said Fu Qingchen, CEO of Fu Corporation, was one of Haicheng's most eligible bachelors. By unofficial estimates, his admirers could circle the city five times. At a certain banquet, Fu Qingchen was accepting a cocktail from the protagonist shou. An Xia, standing beside him, lit up with excitement. [Wow! The protagonist shou loaded this drink with all kinds of stuff, and it's all imported! Is tonight finally the night the CEO gets taken down?!] Fu Qingchen's hand trembled around the glass. He turned and shoved the drink right back into the protagonist shou's hands. * One sunny afternoon, Fu Qingchen was about to play a nice round of golf and unwind when An Xia's eyes lit up again. [Huh! Today should be the day Fu Qingchen breaks both his hands while playing golf, leaving him unable to take care of himself. Apparently, he can't even put on his underwear properly. Then the protagonist shou takes advantage of him for ages, and even gets to touch that unspeakable place...] Fu Qingchen shuddered and tremblingly transferred a huge sum to An Xia. "A-An Xia, I've suddenly got a craving for coffee. Could you make another trip? I'll reimburse you for everything." An Xia was stunned by the million-yuan coffee reimbursement in his account. [But I've heard drinking too much coffee can affect things down there. Keep it up long enough and it won't get up anymore!] Fu Qingchen crumbled. "Forget the coffee! Get me Nongfu Spring instead!" * It was another completely ordinary workday. Fu Qingchen was handling paperwork when he heard that familiar voice again. He tensed instinctively, afraid An Xia was about to say something outrageous. [OMG! The protagonist shou's fake-young-master identity has finally been exposed? The real young master has already gone to his house, and they're arguing about getting a DNA test!] At last, Fu Qingchen was hearing gossip about someone else. He relaxed a little and silently set down his paperwork, waiting for An Xia to continue. Go on, please, go on. Other people's gossip really is the best! Reader's guide: The story is absurd and has lots of original worldbuilding, so please don't overthink it (drops to knees). Hope you have fun reading (bows). Updates around 11:30 p.m. Just take a look before bed and you'll probably find a new chapter ^~^ Updates are guaranteed, so you can't lose! I've set the anti-piracy ratio at 90 percent. Stealing any more would be rude, you know ^^. New story: My Husband Might Have Some Kind of Serious Problem One dark and stormy night, at some date in some year, Feng Feng realized her husband Ji Yuanyuan had gone crazy. The first of next month was when their contract marriage was supposed to end. Yet this man, who usually slicked back his hair and kept a cold face when he went out, was now standing in the middle of the night, waving a laundry pole at the moon and shouting nonsense: "I am 1, I am 1. Calling headquarters, calling headquarters. Do you copy? Do you copy?" Hearing "I am 1" echo across the entire courtyard, Professor Feng, a man known for his reason and self-restraint, fell silent. Had her contract husband finally snapped after working late for a week straight? * Ji Yuanyuan was an alien with the code name 1, a real, bona fide alien. Before he closed his eyes, he'd been staying up late reading Earth novels. In the novel, the protagonist gong pined for his white moonlight for ten years. To ease his longing, he married a man who looked like his white moonlight and used him as a substitute. The poor substitute gave everything for the protagonist gong, only to meet a gruesome end on the street the day the white moonlight returned to the country. But when Ji Yuanyuan opened his eyes again, he had become the protagonist gong in that novel, who shared his name. Oh no... He'd spent his whole life cursing scumbags, and now he'd become one himself. * Newly turned Earthling Ji Yuanyuan found everything on Earth fresh and fascinating. He kept texting the wife he trusted most whenever he had a question. "Wifey, wifey, what is this?" "Wifey, wifey, what's that?" Feng Feng patiently answered every question, treating him like a grown-up son. Besides, once their contract ended, she could leave and go wherever she wanted. It wasn't long before Ji Yuanyuan sent another message, this time with a picture of something burning. "Wifey, wifey, what is this thing?" The moment Feng Feng recognized it, she shot to her feet. "That's our marriage certificate, for fuck's sake!" * Ji Yuanyuan still didn't understand much, but he knew his wife was soft and delicate, and easy to push over. He especially loved clinging tightly to her at night when they slept. She said he was annoying, but she never turned him away. Then, one night, Ji Yuanyuan touched a strange, warm spot on his wife's body. Unable to help himself, the alien Ji Yuanyuan voiced his heartfelt concern. "Wifey, your little thermos seems to be heating up." Thermos was another new word he'd learned. Professor Feng's face instantly turned bright red. "Yours is big! Yours is the biggest!" Ji Yuanyuan thought for three seconds, then answered seriously, "But my thermos really is big. Don't believe me? Feel it for yourself." Professor Feng: ...Damn it! Theme: Live positively and face life with optimism.