I Played a Witch, and the Live Comments Fell in Love with Me

A car accident, transmigration, and a golden finger.

Du Lili had no problem transmigrating into a novel character.

She was the real heiress in a story about a real and fake heiress.

"Great! I get the moral high ground, get taken back by my family, and become rich."

"As long as I'm rich, having a family's love or not makes little difference."

"But..." She was very unimpressed with the plot the System had assigned her. "This is so tacky!"

The System was scorned by a rebellious sixteen-year-old girl.

"Leave the plot to me! I'll handle it. And give me a few cheats."

She got the Witch Simulator cheat plugin.

#

Plot point: [The real heiress falls into the hands of a poor, broken family and suffers terribly.]

"Okay, but I don't want to meet my fake parents. Having one pair of rich fake parents is already more than enough."

"And we have to work the Witch Simulator into the plot."

"Then let's say I wash up in a fishing village on an island. The villagers worship an evil god, and for the past month they've sacrificed one person every day under the priest's direction."

"By the end of the month, everyone on the island will be dead, the evil god will emerge, and the island will be destroyed."

"Then I narrowly escape death, drift to shore, and get rescued."

"While I'm at the hospital, they test my DNA, and my family takes me in."

"Isn't that trendy?"

[That's way too trendy...] the System said.

Plot point: [After the real heiress returns, her education is so far behind that she can't keep up at her new school and doesn't fit in.]

"Oh, that's easy. I won't just fail to fit in. I'll be a small-town girl who can't keep up."

"There's a profession on the island called a 'book burner.' Knowledge is evil! If you know too much, you'll summon the evil god."

"I can't even read!"

[No, that's way too, ]

"Here's the thing," Du Lili said, as if it were only natural. "If I know even a little, they'll call me a genius!"

"All right, next question."

Plot point: [After the real heiress returns, her family doesn't accept her, and she eventually has a falling-out with them.]

Du Lili's eyes sparkled.

The System had a very bad feeling.

"A falling-out... What exactly does that mean?"

[Well, a huge argument, things getting thrown, storming out, rain pouring outside.]

[You're all alone and soaked to the skin.]

A tragic love song would start playing, too.

"That's so stupid," Du Lili said.

"No, I mean, leave it to me."

#

The eldest son of the Du family brought classmates home for a party. He got tired and fell asleep on the sofa.

The next afternoon, he was woken from a groggy daze by the sound of water.

He opened his eyes in annoyance.

Then he was jolted wide awake.

The entire living room floor was slick and glistening. His little sister was pouring gasoline.

When she noticed he was awake, she nodded and poured a trail beneath the sofa where he lay, too.

The eldest Du son curled up and let out a girlish scream.

[Isn't he acting out of character?] the System said.

Du Lili nodded at him.

The newly reunited little sister had black hair, and was thin and pale. A plain black nun's habit suited her better than her school uniform.

Anyone who knew her past would feel a chill, unable to pity her, and would feel as though they were peering into an abyss.

It was unfortunate, but somehow she seemed to have a reason to bring misfortune.

She was astonishingly beautiful.

She lowered her head, playing with a lighter in one hand.

It wasn't lit, but the eldest Du son watched it in terror.

The metal casing glimmered like rippling water. It wasn't lit by sunlight coming through the curtains, but by the reflection of the oil on the floor.

Her expression was calm, her breathing soft, her bare feet standing in the oil.

She said, "Brother, I'm going to burn down this family that doesn't accept me."

#

Plot point completed. The System was dumbfounded. How did that count as completing it?

The simulator also displayed a notification.

[Fire proficiency increased.]

[You'll be more adept at using related magic in the future.]

"Awesome!" Du Lili cheered, throwing both hands into the air. "Next, I'll take advantage of my family's home in the rich neighborhood and hold a ritual at night to capture rich people's souls."

"I'll burn them over the kitchen stove and force their families to pay ransom."

She had already unlocked fire magic.

"What can you achieve by being rebellious alone? I'm going to be a self-made millionaire!"

System: [ . ]

[This kid is definitely going to end up in jail.]

What the System didn't tell Du Lili was that the novel's rights had been sold and it was being adapted into an anime.

On the anime's first day, netizens flocked to the videos.

[My youth is back.]

[I searched online. If a plot this ridiculous can get an anime adaptation, why can't the books I like?]

[The production quality is completely pointless.]

[Putting fancy decorations on a turd.]

Du Lili's character appeared at the beginning.

[What a beautiful little sister!!]

[Too bad she's a supporting character... and a cannon fodder character at that.]

[I'll pity her in advance.]

[Hate that you were born into this piece of crap.]

Du Lili started pouring gasoline on the floor.

[???]

[???]

[I'm putting question marks. It's not me who's confused, I think you're the one with a problem...]

[Teen drama (young love) instantly turns into teen drama (a teenage girl's crime thriller).]

The male lead caught fire.

[…]

[Incredible (in every sense).]

[What a psycho.]

Du Lili used magic and went out at night, wearing a cloak and carrying a lantern, humming a tune. She was dressed like a proper witch.

She randomly captured the souls of unlucky people and took them home to burn, in exchange for ransom.

[…]

[I have nothing to say.]

['The accumulation of capital is steeped in blood and tears from the very beginning.']

[Blood and tears (literally).]

[They mean the female supporting character is awful. She wants money and will stop at nothing to get it...]

[So that's what people online mean when they say this work is surreal! (astonished)]

Theme: Overcome every difficulty through hard work