Yokohama's Useless Secret Identity System

A good-for-nothing through and through got bound to a secret identity System.

He was such a good-for-nothing that he broke the System.

The System did everything it could to sever the bond and get out of there, leaving behind an empty secret identity System shell that could only create secret identity disguises, without the supernatural abilities or intelligence those identities were supposed to have.

Good-for-nothing: Even if I don't have any real abilities, this is still great!

Good-for-nothing: Secret identities don't need to eat. I can get unemployment benefits for free!

Soon, rumors started spreading through every street and alley in Yokohama:

Some bandage-wearing guy was faking insanity to claim insurance,

Some gravity wielder was collecting unemployment benefits;

The dignified Armed Detective Agency president was putting on a street performance with a saber and jumping through a ring of fire;

The dignified Mafia boss was playing the erhu in the middle of the street, hugging his daughter Alice and crying that the child had been depressed for years, he had no money on him, and he was begging his fellow citizens for enough money to get home.

What a show. Absolutely incredible.

Nakahara Chuuya finally couldn't take it anymore and decided to teach the brainless culprit a lesson. But at the charity donation site, he saw a young man with reddish-brown hair and blue eyes who looked just like his twin brother, cheerfully telling his companion, "I'm five foot three, so they think I'm underage. Minors get an extra egg, so I can have eggs for dinner tonight. Woohoo!"

"Waaah, I haven't had meat in ages. Woohoo!"

"Hero Chuuya!"

"Glorious five-foot-three height!"

"You are our hope!"

Watching the extremely proud five-foot-three fellow, Nakahara Chuuya's hand trembled slightly as he held his cigarette.

#Damn it, I can't bring myself to hit him#

#My nonexistent conscience is growing#

Theme: Stand on your own two feet and work hard