My Wife Is Edogawa Ranpo, but Our Son Is Called Gojo Satoru

Blurb:

After coming back from the dead, I discovered I had a wife and a son.

My wife, Edogawa Ranpo, calls herself the world's number-one beautiful girl detective. She has such a baby face that you'd never guess she's an adult. When I found out from the start that we had a child together, I almost called the police and turned myself in.

My son, Gojo Satoru, is the next head of the Gojo family, one of the Three Great Families in the jujutsu world. He loves teasing cats and dogs, and can't stand seeing me laze around. Even when I'm running a fever of forty degrees, he'll find some way to bother me.

They seem to exist solely to turn my already awful, garbage life completely upside down.

Honestly, putting aside how they always get me into trouble, my wife and son are both pretty adorable. To quote that scoundrel Zenin Toji, I might as well raise them like cats.

Which brings us to the question:

I'm a dog person.

So can I return these two cats?

P.S. A lighthearted, imaginative story with an original male protagonist, told in first person. The male lead is the strongest around, a laid-back, goofy, show-off type who loves to gripe. Ranpo is female in this version. He's already married and has a kid from the start, and their affection for him is maxed out. Please beware!!!!

P.S. Heavy OOC, lots of original settings, and zero logic. Enter at your own risk, seriously!! Updates whenever I feel like it, probably a short story.

Theme: A happy family brings prosperity to everything.