You're Pretending Too?

Gu Lin is an engineer, and his boyfriend, Yan Buji, is a fitness trainer. The two of them have stumbled their way from senior and junior classmates to three years of married life, sharing warmth and tenderness in every moment.

But that's only what it looks like on the surface.

After putting on their daily show of affection in public, Gu Lin, dressed head to toe in trendy bargain-bin clothes, lies beneath a parasol, sipping a custom cocktail and gazing at the international male models in the pool, each one practically radiating testosterone. He closes his eyes in anguish, quietly buttons his collar, and braces himself for his boyfriend's check-in call.

He has no idea that, thousands of miles away, Yan Buji has washed the smoke of battle from himself and is standing before a mirror, adjusting his expression. He slowly smooths away the murderous severity between his brows, carefully arranging the most perfect, gentle smile before calling his boyfriend to check in.

Later...

Gu Lin, in tatters: "Didn't you say you were a plant-eating Platonist, completely clueless about all the tricks of bars and clubs, with hobbies like practicing calligraphy, doing laundry, cooking, and housework?"

Yan Buji, his whole worldview crumbling: "What about you?! You're a poor kid, yet you went on a business trip with eighteen male model assistants behind my back, and you even have a beautiful, virtuous, and well-matched fiancee?!"

Liar!

Gu Lin: "We're all straight men in electrical engineering."

Yan Buji: "Then civil engineers are the manliest straight men of all!"

We're breaking up!

Hmph (ノ=Д=)ノ┻━┻

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But after they break up...

"Who am I?"

"H-husband..."

"Will you have a baby?"

"Yes, yes, yes..."

"Whose baby?"

"...Yan Buji! I'm warning you! Don't go too far, or I'll..."

"Break up with me? When did we get back together? Besides... can your body really do without me?"

"I'll, I'll bite you to death... Waaaah."

#A man of steel goes head-to-head with another straight man (not really)#

#Give me Gu Lin's beautiful, virtuous, perfectly matched fiancee's complete file in three minutes!#

#Yan Buji: Why does this fiancee look so familiar? Oh, it's me.#

PS: A theatrical predator seming to be a gentle herbivore top x a cold on the outside, warm on the inside, poor young master with a dual nature bottom. Younger top, melodramatic double crematorium, a theatrical couple and their equally theatrical friends. The top really does have a mental illness: a high-functioning borderline personality disorder developed through destructive self-healing from high-functioning antisocial personality traits in childhood. Basically, he's unwell, but seems even more normal than normal people, and is a skilled performer. To keep things balanced, the bottom has some kind of mental illness too, roughly a mild narcissistic personality disorder.

#Thanks for asking. I've had my boyfriend strung up and beaten for a day and a night, and he still won't admit he's a rich kid. What do I do? Waiting online, kind of urgent.#

[Everything in this story is fictional. Any resemblance to real people or events is purely coincidental. Please do not assume it refers to you.]

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The original version of this story's premise is available for advance collection next door in Are You Faking It Too?!

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Ji Qinglin is a delivery guy, and his boyfriend, Lu Xici, hauls bricks at a construction site. One went to Peking University Founder, the other to Tsinghua Tongfang. They've stumbled along together since their student days, and the love between these two academic slackers is the envy of everyone around them. A simple, ordinary life is the best kind.

But that's only what it looks like on the surface.

After showing off their daily affection in public, Ji Qinglin rides away on his battered bicycle, transformed from a sword, opens the phone he got free with a top-up, and cultivates while delivering food.

He doesn't notice Lu Xici in the corner pulling a wand from the inner pocket of his shabby padded coat, summoning a portal, and heading straight to the construction site.

Later, they break up on Valentine's Day.

Ji Qinglin: "Explain the hundred-billion-yuan castle estates and manors under your name."

Lu Xici: "There's nothing to explain. What about you? What's with that sacred-grade sword?"

Liar!

Ji Qinglin: "Sword cultivators don't talk much."

Lu Xici: "Then mages don't need partners."

We're breaking up!

Hmph (ノ=Д=)ノ┻━┻

PS: A cool, straight-laced sword cultivator from an aristocratic family who works as a delivery guy bottom x a goofy, girlish mage who seriously hauls bricks top. A silly, sweet little treat and a double crematorium.

The homes of the teachers and students at Jiuzhou Cultivation University collapsed twice in one day:

- What? The top students of the East and West campuses are sworn enemies, aren't they?!

- I believe in love again!

- Wait?! They broke! Up?!

#Keep it simple, show your love in a simple way.#

[The special Valentine's Day breakup edition.]

Theme: Life is short, so enjoy it while you can. Our time is limited, so hurry up and do more interesting things.