I Don't Have Any of the Character Types You Like

The four must-have character types in a school novel: the top student/the slacker, the campus belle/the campus hunk, the well-behaved one/the bad boy, the domineering rich kid/the penniless nobody.

Ke Han: I want them all--no!

But from the moment he set foot in Tiange No. 2 High School, he was swept up in a sea of school-obsessed main characters.

Netizen A, disabled but determined, online twenty-four hours a day, a master of inspirational pep talks and the king of online banter. It seems like he's always wreaking havoc on foreign websites, but he calls himself "just a former internet addict."

Legendary transfer student B, whose summer job set the entire entertainment industry buzzing. An all-around genius, His Excellency Shuimu Muzi, the angst-inducing campus heartthrob feared by everyone at Beijing's top high schools, nicknamed "the lousy high schooler who'll inherit a fortune unless he studies hard."

Broke delinquent student C, who insists he's no iron-willed, illiterate slacker. He's either working or on his way to work: penniless, a lone star under an ill omen, and a powerhouse in a fight. His self-image: a vocational school student who respects the old, loves the young, and wins people over with virtue in the new era.

The aloof campus belle D, who livestreams and ranks number one on the campus beauty list. She never appears in public, yet rumors about "her" are everywhere. Her profile says: "I've loved before. I'm mute. Ask again and I love my country!"

But the most incredible one is his exam-god roommate M: an expert at vanishing, a ridiculous, dog-headed genius with social anxiety who routinely has a cat attend class for him. Offerings are left everywhere he goes. He's the eternal god of students and teachers alike. His motto: "No superstition here."

Ke Han, champion of the national high school math competition in his previous life: Truly worthy of a top high school. Unlike me, a country bumpkin who just wants to laze around.

Later, Ke Han discovered that classmates A, B, C, D... and M were all the same person!

Mu Heng: "Um... listen, I can explain. I had my reasons..."

Ke Han: "Yeah, right."

Later still--

Mu Heng charged out of the exam hall with Ke Han slung over his shoulder.

Mu Heng: "My secret identity's been exposed!"

Ke Han: "What?"

Mu Heng: "Funny thing is, yours has been exposed too!"

Ke Han: "Run!!!"

P.S. This won't be paywalled before the main story ends. A warmhearted, fake layabout bottom x a slippery, truly competitive top. Both top and bottom have varying degrees of mental illness. The competition system is made up for this story. This is an absurd, freewheeling school comedy.

#A true school grindset warrior has the courage to grind themselves to death!#

#You can't find a single real layabout in this entire school novel.#

#In math and science competitions, being bad is a sin.#

Theme: Study hard and make progress every day.