Classmate, Are You Sick?

Danmei novel coming soon: The Lustful Ghost Dragon Sucks Essence. Currently serializing: Young Master, Did You Get Exposed Today?

Bonus chapters unlock at 75%.

A northern ensemble cast, full of passion and comedy.

During winter break of his second year of high school, Qi Feng is dragged by his mom to the hospital to boost their business.

Phimosis surgery.

One swipe of the scalpel, and a week in bed.

The operation is done in the morning. Qi Feng has barely been in his hospital room for a little while when his fellow patient arrives.

Xiao Mo, losing a health bar with every step, lies down on the bed, half-dead, and greets Qi Feng: "Hey, what a coincidence."

Coincidence, my ass. I told him not to come, that it hurts, but he wouldn't listen.

Qi Feng snorts. "Does it hurt? Good, you deserve it."

Xiao Mo rolls his eyes through the pain. "You don't get it. The second one is half price."

Before the two can decide who's the bigger fool, a third fellow patient, Xu Yichen, arrives in a wheelchair and takes the bed next to them.

Qi Feng: "You..."

Xu Yichen: "It was on sale."

Ten minutes later, Bai Yu and Wang Hao walk into the room, supporting each other.

Qi Feng covers his face and chuckles. "Great, we've got the whole dorm together."

*

The four of them always thought Xiao Mo was a cold, aloof rich young master. Only after they all move into the same dorm do they realize the truth.

Xiao Mo is clearly a vulgar, tightfisted peacock.

The drink shop launches a new quarterly promotion: all drinks are half price for couples.

Xiao Mo pats Qi Feng. "Come on, I'll treat you to a drink."

Xiao Mo asks the clerk, "Hey, it's half price as long as we're a couple, right?"

The clerk nods. Xiao Mo pulls the bewildered Qi Feng over, quickly kisses him on the cheek, then turns around. "Two of your most expensive coffees."

Clerk: ...

Qi Feng: Damn it.

They go shopping for outfits for the school's welcome party and stop by a sportswear store.

They pick out their tops, and all that's left is pants.

They choose a pair of black pants for 199 yuan.

Xiao Mo objects and points to a pair of out-of-season black quick-dry shorts. "These."

The others: Why?

Xiao Mo: "They're 99 yuan cheaper, and they'll keep you cool."

The others: ...

Qi Feng restrains the urge to punch him. "It's the middle of winter. You want to wear shorts?"

Buying roasted chestnuts in winter.

Xiao Mo: "Hey, how much are the chestnuts?"

Vendor: "25 yuan a jin."

Xiao Mo: "How about 22?"

Vendor: "Fine."

When it's time to pay, Xiao Mo scans the code. "Hey, make it an even 20. I'll be back again, so think of it as keeping a regular customer."

Vendor: ...

After their original group of four becomes a group of five, this saying spreads around their year: No one is more handsome than Qi Feng, no one is richer than Xiao Mo, no one studies better than Xu Yichen, no one can beat Bai Yu in a fight, and no one can out-insult Wang Hao.

Simply put, a southern peacock has flown into a northern pack of wild beasts.

"Gender is just a symbol. Whether you're on top or bottom, the symbol doesn't matter. As long as it's you, that's all that matters."

Qi Feng: Snow leopard with OCD

Xiao Mo: Peacock

Xu Yichen: Cunning snake

Bai Yu: Expressionless Chinese rural dog

Wang Hao: Chatterbox bear

Happy ending

July 7, 2023. A note of caution: I'm older and not highly educated. Sometimes I miss typos and plot holes even when I check, and it takes me a while to fix them. My writing is pretty average and has a strong northeastern accent. If that bothers you, please don't read.

Reason for entering the contest: High schoolers striving passionately, funny antics, conquering Chinese, slaying English, and swinging a long whip at comprehensive science.

Coming soon: The Lustful Ghost Dragon Sucks Essence

Lang Yu is the only dragon to have cultivated into a spirit since the founding of the nation, a darling of heaven who became a spirit as soon as he hatched.

Unfortunately, as soon as he opens his eyes, he gets caught in a battle between great demons. Less than an incense stick after hatching, he becomes a wandering ghost.

The good news: He can absorb resentment, accrue merit, and recreate his dragon body. The bad news: To recreate his dragon body, he needs a cultivator who has preserved his virginity to help him.

Lang Yu looks at the swindling masters who swagger through the streets and the masters in temples with messy private lives, and sighs helplessly: ...This is so hard.

Lin Huaizhou comes from a family of folk Taoist priests, passed down through three generations. With nothing to do during the summer break of his sophomore year, his father sends him to help someone move a grave. He subdues a ghost, only to be wrapped up by a blurry mass of white mist that claims to be the Dragon God.

The heavens darken, mist fills the air, and a young voice calls out: "I am the Dragon God. Will you offer me your golden essence?"

Lin Huaizhou raises an eyebrow and chuckles. This is a lustful ghost looking for a romantic encounter, hoping to make him lose his yang energy. No wonder his father said he'd have a romantic disaster soon.

He comes up with a plan. "Sure. Then come with me." He'll keep this alluring ghost under constant watch and get rid of him the moment he notices anything suspicious.

The little dragon may be a ghost, but he poses no threat at all. He can take human form, harmless as can be, with red lips, white teeth, and breathtaking beauty. When he comes across an animal, plant, or person in trouble, he spends what little magical power he has to help. He's kind and innocent.

Lin Huaizhou sneers from the side. "An illusion."

Later, Lin Huaizhou accidentally gets stained with a vengeful ghost's resentment, and Lang Yu is so frantic that he bursts into tears.

He comforts the little dragon. "It's fine. Don't cry."

Unexpectedly, the little dragon suddenly takes human form, throws himself into Lin Huaizhou's arms, and presses their lips together. Anxious and utterly clumsy, he showers him with frantic kisses.

At last, he nestles in Lin Huaizhou's arms, the corners of his eyes red and damp, his face full of concern. "Senior Brother, are you feeling better?"

Lin Huaizhou coaxes him softly, his voice hoarse. "Good dragon. You're not quite done yet."

After Lang Yu and Lin Huaizhou confirm their relationship, Lang Yu has one constant wish: to give him a little dragon.

With the help of Lin's uncle, Lang Yu buys a dragon egg that has no signs of life.

That day, Lang Yu follows the instructions to set it in the incubator, but accidentally presses the remote control.

He is in agony. His eyes red, he sobs as he calls Lin Huaizhou.

Lin Huaizhou hurries back and sees a little dragon crying and rolling around on his bed, whimpering at him.

Lin Huaizhou takes a deep breath, then scoops up the damp little dragon and strokes his tail. "Good dragon, Senior Brother will help you."

Bonus scenes:

(1):

When Lang Yu first takes human form, he can't control his horns or tail, and they keep popping out.

Luckily, Senior Brother always fixes his Taoist robe and straightens his Taoist crown in time.

But every time, Senior Brother has to touch him for ages, until he can barely stand.

(2):

Lin's father reminds Lin Huaizhou: "Lustful ghosts suck out your essence."

Lin Huaizhou agrees wholeheartedly. "They do. Of course they do. But it's not a gaseous essence, it's a liquid one!"

Lin's father: ...

(3):

Ever since Lang Yu learned to absorb the resentment from people's bodies, Lin Huaizhou keeps inexplicably getting stained with resentment.

Lang Yu is naturally more than happy to help Senior Brother.

But one day, he suddenly catches Senior Brother trapping an evil ghost in a corner and threatening it: "Give me some resentment."

Lang Yu: ...?!

Everything in this story is fictional. Please believe in science. If anything similar has happened to you, believe in science's limits.

Blurb dated May 28, 2024.

Theme: There are no shortcuts on the road to growth. Row against the current and strive to lead.