Batkid, but the Ultimate Superboy

Black hair and blue eyes means you're a Batkid. (Gets smacked.)

Superboy-Prime was shoved into the Source Wall by Kon-El. Furious, depressed, and utterly miserable, he swore that once he got out, he'd make Kon-El pay and get the whole world to admit that he was the best Superboy.

[Batkid Simulator successfully activated]

"Who are you? Get out of my head!" Superboy-Prime roared, having just returned to Earth.

[This is wonderful.] The System, which never listened to a word anyone said, was overjoyed. [Black hair, blue eyes. Host, you're guaranteed to win this round!]

Superboy-Prime: ?

The System, thinking its Host looked strangely familiar, pondered for a moment. [Anyway, let's start the mission!]

[Mission One: Move into Wayne Manor and get Bruce Wayne to acknowledge you as a Batkid.]

Superboy-Prime: ) Maybe look at this face, which is identical to Superman's, then think about what you're saying.

One day, Wayne Manor received a mysterious email. Inside was a lock of hair and a DNA test report, stating in black and white that the child was Batman's own flesh and blood.

No matter how many times they tested the lock of hair, the results were always the same.

As everyone waited for the new Batkid to show up, a Kryptonian suddenly came crashing down from the sky.

Batman: Look at this face, then tell me again that he's my son?

The System thought its Host was far too infuriating. To keep the Host from getting himself killed one day, it considered the matter for a long time and decided to give him a golden finger.

[Host, I applied to the Main System for a golden finger for you. You'll definitely thank me!]

Superboy-Prime sensed something was off and asked warily, "What is it?"

[I gave you Kryptonian blood!]

Superboy-Prime, who was already a Kryptonian: What a fucking idiot.

The System continued, [All you have to do is write ten thousand words every day to activate your bloodline. Isn't that great?]

Superboy-Prime, who had suddenly lost his powers: ) Go die, you dumbass System.

Theme: People who talk tough all need to be locked up