[Crossover] Black-Hearted Pope Simulator

After impulsively jumping off a building and dying, you open your eyes to find yourself in a place called the Sanctuary.

A management simulator of sorts binds itself to you. Before falling dormant due to a lack of energy, the System tells you that your current identity is the Pope, and your ultimate goal is to win the final Holy War.

But when you take a closer look at your character profile...

[“Pope”]

[As the supreme ruler of the Sanctuary and the earthly representative of the Goddess of Wisdom, you wield absolute power and command all the Saints. Of course, that was in the past. Now that you can't find a single Saint, you're nothing more than a commander without an army.]

[Cosmo]

[Power unknown. Sealed due to insufficient conditions.]

[Health (Low)]

[You're near death and can barely withstand another attack.]

[Constitution (Weak)]

[Sick every three days, and seriously ill every two. That's you.]

[Luck (?)]

[We recommend not relying too much on your Schrodinger's luck. It certainly won't be anything like the “Super High School Level Luck” next door.]

[Intelligence (?)]

[Depending on your state, it always shows one of two extremes.]

[Attractiveness (Danger)]

[This mainly refers to your face. For your own safety, we recommend not showing your true appearance too often.]

[Sanity (?)]

[You should relax from time to time and do your best to stay stable.]

[Also, though this may not be good news, do you remember how Hades possesses the body of a pure-hearted young man every time the Holy War begins?]

[Unfortunately, your timing is perfect (lol).]

You snap the simulator profile shut, then glance at the baby beside you, swaddled and gazing up at you.

Great. Even the goddess is still a baby.

You think without changing your expression.

Well, this is one hell of a start.

But it doesn't matter. You'll win.

“Let's start by recruiting the most exceptional Gold Saint, Virgo.”

You pinch the baby goddess's chubby cheek. This is less a conversation than you talking to yourself.

“I think that guy named ‘Satoru’ I met a few days ago is pretty good. Should I bring him in first?”

Snippet One:

With a Shinichi Kudo on your left and a Kaito Kuroba on your right, you confidently mark their names down for the Gemini Gold Saint position.

“Same face, similar brains, and the same childhood-friend setup. What are the odds? They'd be perfect.”

Simulator System: You'd better mean that. And please show some respect for blood relations!

Snippet Two:

Q: Come to think of it, based on his birthday, Gojo Satoru should be a Sagittarius. Can he really be a Virgo?

You: “People who accomplish great things shouldn't sweat the small stuff. From now on, he's a Virgo.”

Gojo Satoru: “...Huh?”

Snippet Three:

You: “There's a place called the Sanctuary. Room and board are free, and they cover your children's education and their future careers as adults (as Saints). If you can't make it as an assassin, you could consider the Sanctuary.”

Oda Sakunosuke: ...!

Snippet Four:

You: “How about this? I'll be your subordinate, and you be my Saint. When we're in the Vongola, I'll call you Boss. In the Sanctuary, you can call me Boss. Doesn't that make sense?”

Sawada Tsunayoshi: “...W-wait, what??”

Snippet Five:

You: “I get it. The requirement is purity, right?”

You: “I'll go make myself impure right away.”

Hades: ?

Simulator System: ?

P.S. Occasionally switches out of second person. The setting has been changed beyond recognition. It's a chaotic crossover where you wander around recruiting people and building the Sanctuary. You might even see Saiki Kusuo as a Saint (?). It's a meandering story with mediocre writing and a big imagination, written just for my own amusement.

P.S. The protagonist is unhinged in every sense, has questionable morals, and only pretends to be a good person. Her attractiveness stat is off the charts. Heavy OOC, so please beware.

Theme: Unity, friendship, yeah, a big happy family