I Became the Crown Prince of the Han Dynasty

Liu Ying is born as the son of Liu Bang and Lü Zhi.

With both parents alive, Liu Ying is delighted, and spends every day running around with the family dog. He’s a good kid in every way, except that he’s too honest for his parents’ comfort.

When Liu Bang comes home, Liu Ying shouts, “Mom, that son of a bitch is home!”

Liu Bang: “???”

You little rascal. If your father’s a son of a bitch, what does that make you?

Liu Ying thinks for a moment and answers seriously, “A bastard!”

Liu Bang: “...”

When Liu Ying does something wrong, Lü Zhi rolls up her sleeves to beat him. There’s a crack, and she breaks her hand.

Liu Ying turns around. “Mom, I didn’t mean to. I didn’t know you’d hurt yourself. I’m sorry, okay?”

Lü Zhi: “...”

Liu Bang ascends the throne as emperor. Lady Qi covets the position of crown prince and argues that Liu Ruyi is of noble birth, hoping to persuade Liu Bang to appoint him instead.

When Liu Ying and Lü Zhi hear this, Lü Zhi is furious, but Liu Ying looks completely in agreement. “Little brother Ruyi is really expensive and worth a lot. We could trade him for tons and tons of grain.”

Lady Qi complains, “Your Majesty, listen to the Crown Prince. He speaks of Ruyi so contemptuously. If anything happens to you, won’t he devour Ruyi and me alive?”

Liu Ying is startled. “Huh? So you want to die? But I don’t eat people.”

Lü Zhi: “...” Her anger instantly fades.

Liu Bang: “...” Son, please stop talking for a moment.

Reader’s guide:

1. This is an alternate timeline, not the historical Han dynasty. Please don’t nitpick the history. I’m no historian, and any clumsy writing is my fault.

Theme: Learn from history and look to the future