Everyone Got Weird After I Bound the Wrong System

Jiang Ling had his bones cut out and his life taken as a child, then was abandoned in a desolate, fallen wasteland. Yet on his eighteenth birthday, he became bound to a mysterious System. The System claimed it would help him become the strongest, admired by countless people, with multitudes bowing at his feet.

Then Jiang Ling realized there was something strange about this System.

Complete a task, receive a reward:

[Skin as smooth as jade] [Eyes like the stars] [Lips red as cinnabar] [Innate favorability]

Jiang Ling's face was expressionless as he raised his hand and brought the knife down: What does this have to do with me getting stronger?

And right after he became bound to this System, the whole world started acting strangely.

The son of a wealthy young master who had been bullying him just yesterday suddenly became timid and cautious around him today.

The foreign demon king who had threatened to destroy the city suddenly transformed into a tiny version of himself, ten sizes smaller, and came to his side to act cute.

And the family that had abandoned him suddenly wanted to bring him back to Yujing City and let him reclaim his place in the family.

Jiang Ling had no idea what was going on, until one day he overheard a conversation between his wealthy young master's underling and his demon pet.

Underling: "Hydrogen, helium, lithium, beryllium, boron?"

Demon pet: "Carbon, nitrogen, oxygen, fluorine, neon!"

Underling: "You're a fellow countryman!"

Demon pet: "Good thing I got down on my knees fast, or the male lead might have ground my whole clan's bones to dust."

Underling: "With all the fat on my body, the male lead would have rendered me down for oil!"

Jiang Ling's dad: "I've got it bad too. In the original, my head gets chopped off and I'm thrown into the Ten Thousand Poisons Pit!"

Jiang Ling: ? What kind of riddle are they talking in?

*

Yong Lingxiao discovered that he had transmigrated into a hugely popular novel. As luck would have it, he had become the villainous boss, whose ending would be to have his soul shattered by the darkening male lead's sword, never to be reborn.

So Yong Lingxiao decided to take the usual approach and disguise himself as a sickly scholar, building up his favorability with the male lead.

The moment he met the male lead,

Yong Lingxiao: Oh no, it was love at first sight.

Then he also realized that something about this plot seemed off.

The male lead was supposed to be humiliated by cannon fodder, but instead he saw every one of them turn into his underling, ready to go east if he said east and never west.

The male lead was supposed to be tormented by the demonic sect and face a life-or-death crisis, but instead the sect's young lord came to ask for his hand in marriage.

The male lead was supposed to forcefully face-slap the villainous prodigy, but the very next day, that prodigy moved into their courtyard and fussed over the male lead with every possible kindness.

Yong Lingxiao: You all think I'm dead, don't you?

The next time someone came calling, Yong Lingxiao stepped in front of Jiang Ling and said with a smile that didn't reach his eyes, "We've registered our marriage. I'm not getting a divorce. You've got no chance, so get lost."

A darkening male lead who bound himself to the wrong System, paired with a transmigrated seme who thinks he's straight but is actually as gay as a pretzel

Theme: Seeing is believing; what you hear may not be true.