How to Turn Down Ranpo's Offer to Be Childhood Friends

[Updates at nine every evening. If anything comes up, I'll post a leave notice.] [Bottom-focused story, Ranpo is the top and the protagonist is the bottom] Kono, born into a prestigious family, became the top student at the police academy thanks to his excellent powers of observation and deduction. Kono thought he was one of the smartest people in all of Yokohama, if not the entire world, until he met a man named "Ranpo." Ranpo's arrival plunged Kono into a deep crisis of confidence. "What? I might not be the smartest person in the world? Ranpo is?" Ten-year-old Kono began quietly resenting that guy named Ranpo. One day after school, Kono met a lost boy at the school gates. The boy was handsome, with a lazy, carefree expression. His narrowed eyes caught Kono's attention. Kindhearted Kono walked up and asked, "Hey, you've had your eyes closed this whole time. Are you blind? Come with me. I'll take you home." And so Kono took the boy's hand and led the boy, who couldn't open his eyes, home. A few days later, Ranpo's parents came by to thank him. From that day on, Kono had a childhood friend named "Ranpo." "Childhood friends?" Kono shook his head. "Sorry, I can't do that." The next day, Kono took the red bean paste daifuku he'd made himself to find Edogawa Ranpo. Kono: "Ranpo, I don't want to be friends with you. This box of red bean daifuku is a breakup gift... No, I mean, a friendship-ending gift. Please take it." Ranpo asked, "You can make red bean daifuku?" Kono: "I can." Ranpo: "Could you make some for me every day?" Kono: "I'm busy." Ranpo: "Oh, I understand. So could you make some for me?" Kono: "I hate making sweets." Ranpo: "Oh, I get it. So could you make red bean daifuku for me every day?" Kono: "...Do you not understand a word people say to you?" And so Edogawa Ranpo latched onto him over red bean daifuku and stuck with him from childhood through adulthood. * Bottom-focused story. * The timeline is my own version. * Mostly everyday life. It's the warm, gentle story of two childhood friends growing up together. [Chapters 15, 16, and 17 are all rather long case-solving chapters. If you don't want to read them, you can skip to Chapter 18 (hides face).] * Since Ranpo is a detective, there are a few case-solving scenes. The author's intelligence is limited, so please ignore any moments where characters seem stupid. * Next preorder: How Do I Win Over the Hunting Dogs' Strongest Member as an Undercover Agent? Pairing: Tetsucho Ayatsuji Hazuki is a key member of the Special Division for Unusual Powers. He's sent undercover into the Hunting Dogs to investigate Fukuchi Ouchi, who is suspected of being the leader of the Decay of the Angel. Hazuki: "I'm applying to join the Hunting Dogs. Let me introduce myself. I can't use a sword, I have no talent, I'm sickly, I eat a lot and do little work, and I sleep until noon every day." Fukuchi: "That's a bit much. We're not a retirement home." Hazuki: "But I have information about the leader of the Decay of the Angel." Fukuchi sprang to his feet and slapped the table. "The Hunting Dogs need talented people like you. You're in." Tachihara and the others were baffled. "What happened? How did he get in?" * The undercover mission was long and dull. To infiltrate the Hunting Dogs more smoothly, Hazuki decided to start with Suehiro Tetchou, who was said to be the strongest member. Tetchou was a celibate straight man who knew nothing about love and was easy to fool, so he was the easiest one to target. * On Valentine's Day of the first year, Tetchou received a bouquet from Hazuki. Tetchou: "What is this?" Hazuki: "A Valentine's bouquet symbolizing friendship." * On Valentine's Day of the second year, Tetchou received a diamond ring from Hazuki. Tetchou: "What is this?" Hazuki: "A diamond ring symbolizing friendship." * On Valentine's Day of the third year, Hazuki tossed a little red booklet into Tetchou's arms. Tetchou: "What is this? Why does it say 'Marriage Certificate'?" After thinking for a long time, Tetchou nodded without changing expression. "I see. It's a marriage symbolizing friendship." Hazuki: "Exactly right." But that night, Tetchou kept Hazuki in his room and had an adult conversation with him. The next morning, Hazuki finally realized what had happened. "Damn it, I got played." Theme: Embrace life and love living.