After the Spiritual Qi Revival, My Dead Childhood Friend Crawled Back

Funeral shop owner Shi Zhuixin is a tall, handsome young man with cool, distant features. He often keeps paper figures for company, and a gloomy air hangs about him. At a glance, he looks like someone who can see life’s end stretching out before him. Only the demons he has beaten to a pulp and locked up know the truth: All that cool, aloof, desireless look, all that gloomy air of someone who has seen the end of life! He’s a goddamn battle-crazed lunatic who lives for a fight and laughs in the face of death!!! All day long, he goes fishing for excuses to enforce the law. He looks like a harmless human, but in reality, every punch lands hard, and he beats them senseless at every turn. Under Shi Zhuixin’s violent (crossed out) kindhearted philosophy, the demons tremble and huddle together for warmth. Until one day. The world underwent spiritual qi revival. Demons ran rampant, rubbing their hands together as they got ready to feast and gorge themselves. Just as they were busy chowing down, they suddenly heard: Hey, that maniac and his dead husband are coming! Demons: ?!! Who’s coming?!!! · Shi Zhuixin has two secrets: One: He isn’t human. Two: He’s been secretly in love for years with a white moonlight who died young. He beats up demons day after day and accumulates merit, one hard-earned point at a time, to buy his way back out of hell. No one remembers when it started, but a tall man has always followed at his side. The man has no shadow and cannot speak. In dark, damp corners, his gaze roams over Shi Zhuixin from head to toe, brazenly coveting him. Like a monster, he appeared at Shi Zhuixin’s side, heralding death. Everyone tells Shi Zhuixin to run. Shi Zhuixin wholeheartedly agrees. After all, he’s sickly and depressed, and his life is like a tiny flame adrift in the cold wind. He could die at any moment. So before he dies, he plans to be a little kinder to himself. Then he turns to the man in the corner and invites him, “Wanna f***? Be my boyfriend~” Friends: ??? · In life, Fang Xiangbi was a powerful exorcist and general who had fought Kuafu and battled Chiyou. After he died in battle, his good brother the Yellow Emperor made him a god, and his childhood friend, the Shaman God, carried his coffin. Who could have guessed that when he opened his eyes, he’d become a living corpse without any pain? Newly awakened and utterly confused, Fang Xiangbi sees someone with his back to him, making a funeral wreath. Well, if it isn’t his gorgeous childhood friend! A thousand years apart, and he’s still as beautiful as ever. He’s just too kind and easy to bully for those clueless demons. After all, his little childhood friend is beautiful, delicate, and pitiful. Fang Xiangbi reflects on this and decides he must do a better job of protecting his beautiful childhood friend. Nearby, the demons, beaten black and blue and nearly scattered into oblivion, see the beautiful young man glaring ferociously from behind their mighty foe. They cling to one another and let out piercing screams. Demons: Are we part of your play too??? ★ A few things to know before reading ◆ This story has a lot of original worldbuilding. The writing is amateurish, and please forgive any bugs or plot holes. ◆ One-on-one, both pure, childhood sweethearts ◆ More to be added ◆ Recommending my upcoming food novel, “Shock! A Nonhuman Is Being Fed Like a Wife.” If you’re interested, please add it to your favorites, ladies! OV< Kong Xuan, the only true peacock god in the world. He lived a carefree, unrestrained life, picking fights with everyone, from heaven and earth to gods and demons. Then the age of declining magic arrived in a single day. The gods and Buddhas vanished, and when he woke again, gods and demons were a thing of the past. Now, humans ruled while the supernatural lay low. A green peacock with tail feathers as gorgeous as his was bound to be sent to a zoo for people to gawk at! Kong Xuan: !!! After less than two seconds of deliberation, Kong Xuan decides to take the initiative. He’ll go work at a private restaurant and mooch off them (crossed out)! Word is, it has an incredibly handsome, kind owner and amazingly delicious staff meals, enough to make countless humans and monsters long to visit. However... This private restaurant is so broke! The owner’s cooking is amazing, and Kong Xuan can smell it from miles away. He hurries back as soon as he catches the scent of a meal, ready to gobble it all up. But it’s as if the world has blocked the restaurant out. Not only is it deserted, but you can’t find any trace of it online, either. And the most outrageous part! In human society, you have to pay a mortgage! The monthly payments on the restaurant are so crushing that only the owner’s online side gigs keep them afloat. Seeing how hard things are, Kong Xuan, a beautiful, kind green peacock, steps up! If dishes for ordinary people won’t sell, surely dishes for monsters will! What about Feiyi, a two-meter-tall beast that brings drought? Cook it into Feiyi strips with vinegar sauce. What about Qin Yuan, a fist-sized creature whose sting kills? Skewer it and deep-fry it! And what about the He Luo fish, with nine tails and a habit of coming ashore at night to kidnap children? Boil it in pickled cabbage soup! Chop it up, fire up the wok, and get cooking! · Lu Ya is the Monster Administration’s human-shaped weapon, aloof and abstinent, ruthless and deadly. He has safeguarded peace in the world for years. One day, he retires and fulfills his dream of opening a little shop to enjoy his golden years. Then the old flame catches fire again, and he falls in love at first sight with a bright, flamboyant, handsome young man. Before he can make a move, his future sweetheart comes knocking. His clothes are ragged and he’s a complete mess, like a little stray who just got into a fight. Only his eyes shine brightly as he asks, “Do you want a wife?” Lu Ya manages to stay composed for less than three seconds. “Yes! Yes! Yes!” · To support his handsome sweetheart, he takes off his uniform, puts on an apron, and starts his second career. Business at the shop gets better and better, while the ingredients Lu Ya cooks with get stranger and stranger. Huge fish with ten tails, chickens with three heads, birds that can talk... They cook monsters every day, eat five, six, seven, or eight meals a day, and keep the handsome young man glowing with health. Until one day, the gods and Buddhas descend, and chaos engulfs the world. Lu Ya rushes to the front lines to save the world. His long blade is stained with demon blood as monsters tear through the scene. Forced to leave his sweetheart behind, he goes alone to face his death. But beneath the apocalypse, the sky turns green. The handsome, flamboyant young man looks at him with playful eyes, his gorgeous tail feathers winding around Lu Ya’s wrists and ankles... He tangles with gods and demons, whose eyes turn red at the corners. Their voices feign hurt, hiding an overwhelming malice. “Why are you running?” “Darling, come kiss me before the sky falls.” ◆ Recommending my cat story, “My Childhood Friend and Rival Adopted Me.” You’re really not going to add it to your favorites? [Pleading] Song Xingyou is famous for his bad temper. As the young master of a top-tier wealthy family, he’s had a smooth life and been cherished like a priceless jewel. There’s never been anything he needed to work for in order to get. Except his childhood friend went abroad without him. Furious, he got drunk and declared that the next time they met, he’d beat him until his face bloomed with peach blossoms. When he wakes up, he’s become a stray calico cat at school. The little calico is small and skinny, timid, and bullied by other cats every day. He only gets to eat thanks to students feeding him. The first thing Song Xingyou does after turning into a calico is look down at his own balls. Thank goodness, thank goodness. He hasn’t been turned into a eunuch. The second thing he does is scratch Lu Jingchuan to death, that dumbass... No rush. First, he’ll go mooch some canned food from the alumni. · Anyone who knows Lu Jingchuan knows better than to mess with Song Xingyou. As the heir to the Lu Group, Lu Jingchuan has money, power, and influence. He’s also handsome and well educated, a universally recognized investment prodigy who returned from studying abroad and immediately took control of the company. He seems cold and abstinent, a flower on an unattainable mountaintop, but even an idiot can see his double standard. At his first-birthday party, he had to choose an object to predict his future. He ignored the company seal and abacus and clung to Song Xingyou instead. He’s never wanted to be more than three meters away from him. He’s happily worshipped Song Xingyou for over a decade, protecting him like a treasure and giving him anything he wants. He’d even be delighted to go out in the middle of the night to pick up trash with him. Then, just before turning eighteen, he was forced to go abroad for three years of study, according to family tradition. Those three years abroad were the most unforgettable seven years of his life. He rushed through graduation and hurried home, only to be greeted not by Song Xingyou, but by a skinny little calico cat. The calico waves its paws and scratches wildly. Judging by the results, it hasn’t even managed to scratch his pants. Lu Jingchuan is about to leave, but when he meets the calico’s blazing eyes, he squats down as if possessed. “Do you want to come with me?” · While Song Xingyou is a cat adopted by Lu Jingchuan, life is blissfully comfortable. He eats the best canned food and drinks the most expensive water. Every day, he rides on Lu Jingchuan’s head and throws his weight around, with no idea what it means to hold back. Watching Lu Jingchuan send messages to someone with an expressionless face that barely hides his nerves, he licks his paw and narrows his eyes dangerously. He flops down as if asking for affection, gives a couple of half-hearted meows, and looks smug. Get over here and pet me! Trying to flirt with your wife? With Catman here, you’re guaranteed to fail! Until one day, Lu Jingchuan takes another bunch of photos of him to flirt with his sweetheart. Annoyed, Song Xingyou slaps him and yells, “Photos, photos, photos! All you ever do is take photos. If you’ve got nothing better to do, open me a can!” Song Xingyou: Wait, something doesn’t seem right... · The beautiful little calico turns into a naked young master, with adorable cat ears on his head and a fluffy tail behind him. People are afraid they’ll make him enjoy it if they hit him. From then on, the house is piled high with cans, cat treats, and scratching boards. Even the curtains have to be chosen for how well a cat can scratch them. Only the open windows are sealed shut for good. Sharp furniture corners are wrapped in foam, and thick wool carpets cover the floor. The man never lets him out of his sight for more than ten minutes. He practically watches him through a hole in the door even when he goes to the bathroom. The unreadable emotions in his eyes are dark and terrifying. Later... The cat-like young master breaks into a room, where pictures of him from childhood to the present are piled everywhere. The man slowly closes the door and gazes at the young master with utter infatuation. He sincerely praises him. “Good job, sweetheart. You even figured this out.” The young master is smug. “Of course...” Wait, no, that’s not right!!! Theme: Where there’s a will, there’s a way.