How to Make a Fatherly, Dog-Eared Kunikida Cry Like an Idiot

The main story was completed on February 20, 2023. This is my first novel, so it has plenty of plot holes. Please bear with me.

Here's another Dogu fanfic: [My Husband Is a Battle-Worn Dogu]. The leads are the same, but this one is about saving a battle-worn Dogu, and his injuries won't heal.

Here's a list of things to know before reading:

Please check the pinned comment for references to anime.

Arranged marriage (neither party is particularly willing).

The heroine is a silly little zombie who can only transform and loves making things up in her head.

The heroine's family is cursed, and she can't speak at first.

Dogu is a doting, fatherly caretaker in this story. Life at Jujutsu High comes in the middle.

Blurb:

Jiang Jiang is a little zombie who transmigrated after her coffin lid got blown off.

Luckily, Jiang isn't old-fashioned. She's always tried to fit into her new family, but her parents are truly in love with each other, and she's just an accident.

During a quick trip to the shrine, the little zombie was saddled with an arranged marriage.

Jiang Jiang: ...

Love across species never ends well!

What, her future husband can't speak?

What, what, her future husband is so busy every day he never comes home?!

Jiang Jiang: Dear future husband, how about marrying this little zombie right here and now?

Dogu is one unlucky guy who got hauled home by his teacher to get married while he was in the bath.

He looked at his tiny fiancée and went silent, his hair drying in the process. Isn't she a little too young?

Parents: Don't worry, don't worry, she's of age!

Dogu crossed his hands into an X: Bonito flakes!! I refuse to be forced into this marriage!

Parents: Oh, once the deal is done, no returns.

Dogu: ...

What could Dogu do? He had to take care of her.

Wait, nobody told him his fiancée could transform! And why doesn't Cursed Speech work on her?!

Parents: We forgot. It doesn't work? Well, that's great!

Dogu: ...

If he'd done something wrong, the law should punish him, not saddle him with a fiancée.

Excerpt:

Every day Cursed Speech failed to work, Dogu wore an expression of pure suffering.

Dogu: Stop messing around!

Jiang Jiang glanced at him, then turned back to keep causing trouble.

Later, Cursed Speech started working on his little wife, but Dogu still wore that same pained expression.

Dogu: Kiss me.

Jiang Jiang rose on tiptoe and kissed his cheek.

Dogu: This side.

Jiang Jiang rose on tiptoe and kissed his other cheek.

Dogu lowered his head, his ears bright red, and went out to arrange himself a cold shower.

Dogu Q&A:

Question: What is family love?

Dogu: Family love is when your mom decides you should get married.

Question: What is friendship?

Dogu: Friendship is when everyone waits every day for your wife to make you cry with her stupidity.

Question: What is love?

Dogu: Love is coming home every day and getting driven crazy by the idiot in your house. If she doesn't do something stupid, you feel out of sorts.

P.S.:

A love story about two idiots.

The heroine's abilities restore energy and heal injuries (only for Dogu).

Theme: May you reunite with your beloved.