Mr. Dazai went for his usual walk by the river, then jumped in, intending to kill himself.
Three seconds after hitting the water, Dazai thought he was hallucinating.
Because why else would there be a mermaid in the river?
The mermaid met his gaze and decided to do a good deed.
Dazai, pulled ashore: Why did you save me? You're such a pain!
The mermaid couldn't understand him and tilted her head.
Dazai pointed at himself and said, "Lord Dazai."
Then he pointed at the mermaid, but said nothing.
The mermaid understood and spoke in Chinese: "Anonymous."
Dazai remembered the sound of the word. When he got home and looked it up, he learned that "Anonymous" meant "a person with no name."
Kindhearted Mr. Dazai decided to give the mermaid a name: Whale!
A few months later, the mermaid had learned Japanese. "Huh?"
Whale: Dazai, you brat, you're never getting in the water again for as long as you live. :)
I, Anonymous, can use every ability.
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[Three lines they say all the time]
Chuuya: So you're the little darling Dazai's been hiding in his dump?
Whale: ...
Whale: Wakaranai (I don't want to answer)
Chuuya: You live with Dazai?
Whale: I'm not Japanese. (Stares into space)
Chuuya: No, you look Japanese to me.
Whale: Sumimasen. (Bows)
*Unhinged fiction. Comment 1 to check on the author's mental state.
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